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Twelve Steps of Anger: Part 2

Book cover for Breathe


Part 2 of the 4 Parts of the 12 Steps of Anger

Breathe will teach you how to relax and regain self-control in just 4 seconds.

“Cease from anger, and forsake wrath: fret not thyself in any wise to do evil.” —Psalms 37:8


12 STEPS WITH OPEN EXAMPLE

  1. BAD HAPPENS: I pay attention to some negative things. I experienced/did/had/knew the following negative experience (add your own).
  2. BLAME SELF: I know better than myself (masochism). I am smarter than that. I know better than to do that.
  3. EGO PLEASURE: I experience self-pleasing feelings. I feel pride, conceit, self-important, arrogant, haughty, boastful.
  4. BLAME SELF: I should on my self (shoulda/coulda/woulda). I should not have done (add your own) and it (number one) would never have happened.
  5. DEMONIZE SELF: I damn my self for knowing worse. I am inferior, stupid, and/or worthless for experiencing, doing, having, and/or knowing bad (number one).
  6. EGO PAIN: I experience hurt feelings. I feel hurt, ashamed, depressed, discouraged, despair, helpless.
  7. ANGER DEFENDS: My anger moves my focus to others. I am mad at you/them/it/life/God for giving/causing me bad (#1).
  8. DEIFY SELF: I know better than others (sadism). I am smarter than they are. I know better than they do.
  9. EGO PLEASURE: I experience self-pleasing feelings. I feel pride, conceit, self-important, arrogant, haughty, boastful.
  10. BLAME OTHERS: I should on others (shoulda/coulda/woulda). They should not have done (add your own) and it (#1) wouldn’t have happened.
  11. DEMONIZE OTHERS: I damn others for knowing worse. They are inferior/stupid/worthless for causing me bad (number one).
  12. DEMAND CHANGE: They must know and do better. They must stop, change, and/or fix it (number one). They must make me feel better. They must suffer for causing my pain. I must punish them for causing me pain. I must teach them a lesson.

MESSAGE

  • Anger is supposed to stop the source of pain for you.

For example, if you are experiencing physical pain then anger will help you fight to stop it. However, when the pain is ego pain you often misdirect your anger at others instead of your thinking that is causing your ego pain.

Therefore, stop demonizing your self and you will stop demonizing others. You cannot control others but you can control your thinking. Stop hurting your self with self-damning. You will stop blaming and demonizing your self only when you give up the ego payoff of knowing better than your self. You will stop blaming and demonizing others only when you give up the ego payoff of knowing better than others.


Related Pages


QUOTATIONS VARIOUS SOURCES

Organized Alphabetically

“A man has no more character than he can command in a time of crisis.”–Ralph W. Sockman

“Any fool can criticize, condemn, and complain and most fools do.”–Benjamin Franklin

“Do not weep; do not wax indignant. Understand.”–Baruch Spinoza

“He who angers you conquers you.”–Elizabeth Kenny

“Holding on to anger is like grasping a hot coal with the intent of throwing it at someone else; you are the one getting burned.”–Buddha

“If you are patient in one moment of anger, you will avoid one hundred days of sorrow.”–Chinese proverb

“The discretion of a man deferreth his anger; and it is his glory to pass over a transgression.”–Proverbs 19:11

“To be wronged is nothing unless you continue to remember it.”–Confucius

“To disagree, one doesn’t have to be disagreeable.”–Barry Goldwater

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