Part 4 of the 4 Parts of the 12 Steps of Anger
- Breathe will teach you how to relax and regain self-control in just 4 seconds.
“He that is slow to anger is better than the mighty; and he that ruleth his spirit than he that taketh a city.” —Proverbs 16:32
12 STEPS WITH HELPFUL EXAMPLE
- BAD HAPPENS: I pay attention to some negative things.
I experienced/did/had/knew the following negative experience (add your own).
- DEIFY SELF: I know better than myself (masochism).
I am smarter than that. I know better than to do that.
- EGO PLEASURE: I experience self-pleasing feelings.
I feel pride, conceit, self-important, arrogant, haughty, boastful.
- BLAME SELF: I should on my self (shoulda/coulda/woulda).
I should not have done (add your own) and it (number one) would never have happened.
- DEMONIZE SELF: I damn my self for knowing worse.
I am inferior, stupid, and/or worthless for experiencing, doing, having, and/or knowing bad (number one).
- EGO PAIN: I experience hurt feelings.
I feel hurt, ashamed, depressed, discouraged, despair, helpless.
- ANGER DEFENDS: Helpful anger does not attack beings.
I am mad at my self-deifying for motivating my self-blaming and self-demonizing that caused my ego pain (number four).
- DEIFY TRUTH: Truth knows better than pride.
Truth is better and smarter than my knowing better.
- HAPPY: I experience happiness and thankfulness.
I enjoy the truth, the good thinking that is in me. I am grateful for it.
- BLAME THINKING: Helpful blaming.
I blame my stinking thinking for causing me to have pride, feel bad, and to react poorly to adversity. I refuse to blame human beings.
- DEMONIZE THINKING: Helpful damning.
My self-deifying is driving my self-demonizing which is causing my ego pain. It is stupid and sick to enjoy hurting myself (masochism).
- DEMAND THINKING STOP: Helpful demanding.
I must blame and damn myself and others less and less. I must blame and damn my stinking thinking more and more. I must make myself feel better. I must stop deifying and demonizing human beings.
- Since you will unlikely quit blaming and damning then make blaming and damning work for you. Turn your blaming and damning urges onto your stinking thinking that is causing you to feel bad and to react ineffectively.
Stop blaming and damning your being, your self, and, instead, start blaming and damning your blaming and damning of your being, your self.
- Blame and damn thinking not being.
- Blame the real cause—your thinking.
- More importantly, stop the payoff of self-glorification that is driving your self-torture.
- Deify and demonize thinking not being.
- Twelve Steps of Reacting: page 1 of 4 Format
- Twelve Steps of Reacting: page 2 of 4 Detail
- Twelve Steps of Reacting: page 3 Example Simple
- Long version of adding shit to shit.
- Short version of adding shit to shit.
- STPHFR for understanding your anger.
Quotations from Various Sources
“A man has no more character than he can command in a time of crisis.” —Ralph W. Sockman
“Against criticism a man can neither protest nor defend himself; he must act in spite of it, and then it will gradually yield to him.” —Johann Wolfgang von Goethe (1749-1832)
“An angry man stirreth up strife, and a furious man aboundeth in transgression.” —Proverbs 29:22
“Do not weep; do not wax indignant. Understand.” —Baruch Spinoza
“He who angers you conquers you.” —Elizabeth Kenny
“Holding on to anger is like grasping a hot coal with the intent of throwing it at someone else; you are the one getting burned.” —Buddha
“If you are patient in one moment of anger, you will avoid one hundred days of sorrow.” —Chinese proverb
“There is nothing that so much gratifies an ill tongue as when it finds an angry heart.” —Thomas Fuller
“To be wronged is nothing unless you continue to remember it.” —Confucius
“To disagree, one doesn’t have to be disagreeable.” —Barry Goldwater
“To show resentment at a reproach is to acknowledge that one may have deserved it.” —Tacitus