Most Counselor & Therapists Have Good Intentions
- Garden will teach you an easy and effective system of Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT & REBT).
- Read and discover the best self-help system using CBT.
4 KINDS OF COUNSELORS
- There are four basic kinds of counselors, therapists, or psychotherapists.
- Cure Seeker
PERCENTAGES OF EACH KIND
- This is just a guesstimate.
- Cure seekers: 48%.
- Codependents: 48%.
- Monsters: 2%.
- Accidental: 2%.
INTENTION OF EACH KIND
- Cure seekers are trying to fix themselves by fixing their clients.
- Codependents are trying to stay superior by “helping” or “rescuing” inferiors.
- Monsters are seeking new victims.
- Accidental just fell into counseling as a way to make a living.
RESULTS OF EACH KIND
- Cure seekers help by trying to be helped and by trying to learn what helps.
- Cure seekers also harm when they give up on finding help for themselves and turn into babysitters for clients, and so condone client’s whining, blaming, and damning, which are the client’s real problems.
- Codependents harm by:
- (1) keeping clients sick so they can use them to feel superior;
- (2) making clients sicker and more dependent on them for job and ego security;
- (3) keeping clients on the other side of the fence, that is, by maintaining an us-them duality;
- (4) having the greatest prejudice against mental health recovery and rehabilitation, by, for example, not wanting people in the counseling field who are recovering.
- Monsters hurt by taking advantage of client vulnerability, weakness, and neediness.
- Monsters exploit clients sexually, financially, politically, and otherwise.
- Accidentals became counselors by accident which means they fell into the job through circumstances or a perceived lack of other options.
- Hence, they can be cure seekers, codependents, monsters, or just doing a job either poorly or well.
- They can also be just lazy and ineffective because they are not motivated to be a great counselor.
BEWARE OF SOME
- Beware monsters who seek to use and abuse you.
- Watch for boundary violations.
- Watch for emotional manipulation.
- Watch for requests and desired favors.
- Watch for dual relationships (having any other relationship along with having a counselor-client relationship).
- An ethical counselor will not accept expensive or costly (time, energy) gifts or favors.
- Beware paid friends who are not helping you to develop your coping and problem-solving skills, but who are happy to just support you and listen to you whine.
- People who are willing to prostitute their friendship are not willing to do the work to help you.
- An ethical counselor will risk your friendship (the counseling relationship) to confront your counseling issues.
- If you are never challenged or confronted, then you have a phony paid friend.
- Beware codependents who need to keep you sick and suffering.
- To understand this kind, visit Al-Anon meetings for partners of alcoholics who are often part of the problem and how the problem gets to continue.
- They will make excuses for you to your face, and blame you behind your back.
- They play the victim while victimizing you.
- They don’t want people with mental health diagnoses to become professional counselors.
- They don’t want people in recovery to join professional counseling groups.
- They want to maintain an us-them dichotomy to maintain their superiority.
- They believe they have a superior role so that makes them superior.
Quotations from Various Sources
“A fool is only a fool because he won’t see he is a fool.” —Kevin Everett FitzMaurice
“A man of genius makes no mistakes. His errors are volitional and are the portals of discovery.” —James Joyce
“But if ye be without chastisement, whereof all are partakers, then are ye bastards, and not sons.” —Hebrews 12:8
“By honestly acknowledging your past errors, but never damning yourself for them, you can learn to use your past for your own future benefit.” —Albert Ellis and Robert A. Harper, A Guide to Rational Living, Third Edition, p. 194
“Correction is grievous unto him that forsaketh the way: and he that hateth reproof shall die.” —Proverbs 15:5
“Failure doesn’t have anything to do with your intrinsic value as a person.” —Albert Ellis and Robert A. Harper, A Guide to Rational Living, Third Edition, p. 206
“For whom the Lord loveth he chasteneth, and scourgeth every son whom he receiveth.” —Hebrews 12:6
“If we eliminated all errors, we would also eliminate much discovery, art, insight, learning, and creativity that results from facing errors.” —Kevin Everett FitzMaurice
“If ye endure chastening, God dealeth with you as with sons; for what son is he whom the father chasteneth not?” —Hebrews 12:7
“My son, despise not the chastening of the LORD; neither be weary of his correction:” —Proverbs 3:11
“The trouble with most of us is that we would rather be ruined by praise than saved by criticism.” —Norman Vincent Peale
“When receiving correction, the wise seeks to learn and the fool seeks to justify with excuses.” —Kevin Everett FitzMaurice
Scripture on Counseling
“A wise man will hear, and will increase learning; and a man of understanding shall attain unto wise counsels:” —Proverbs 1:5
“Where no counsel is, the people fall: but in the multitude of counselors there is safety.” —Proverbs 11:14
“The way of a fool is right in his own eyes: but he that hearkeneth unto counsel is wise.” —Proverbs 12:15
“Deceit is in the heart of them that imagine evil: but to the counselors of peace is joy.” —Proverbs 12:20
“Without counsel purposes are disappointed: but in the multitude of counselors they are established.” —Proverbs 15:22
“Hear counsel, and receive instruction, that thou mayest be wise in thy latter end.” —Proverbs 19:20″Every purpose is established by counsel: and with good advice make war.” —Proverbs 20:18
“Take counsel, execute judgment; make thy shadow as the night in the midst of the noonday; hide the outcasts; bewray not him that wandereth.” —Isaiah 16:3
“Extol not thyself in the counsel of thine own heart; that thy soul be not torn in pieces as a bull [straying alone.]” —Ecclesiasticus 6:2
“As timber girt and bound together in a building cannot be loosed with shaking: so the heart that is stablished by advised counsel shall fear at no time.” —Ecclesiasticus 22:16
“Give not over thy mind to heaviness, and afflict not thyself in thine own counsel.” —Ecclesiasticus 30:21
“A man of counsel will be considerate; but a strange and proud man is not daunted with fear, even when of himself he hath done without counsel.” —Ecclesiasticus 32:18
“And let the counsel of thine own heart stand: for there is no man more faithful unto thee than it.” —Ecclesiasticus 37:13
“Let reason go before every enterprize, and counsel before every action.” —Ecclesiasticus 38:33
“Gold and silver make the foot stand sure: but counsel is esteemed above them both.” —Ecclesiasticus 40:25
Related Pages of Free Information
- CBT, CT, & REBT Cognitive Psychotherapies: List of Pages
- Coping Skills: Free Help
- Counseling Issues: Free Help
- Ego & Self-Esteem Fast-Facts
- Emotional Responsibility & Maturity: List of Pages
- Exercises, Methods, & Techniques: List of Pages
- Feeling & Coping: Fast-Facts
- REBT (Rational Emotive Behavior Therapy): List of Pages
- Self-Esteem Issues: List of Pages
- Unconditional Self-Esteem (USE): Defined
- Read and discover the best diagrams and maps of how people play games with your mind and heart.