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You Have Emotional Control

Cover for Secret of Maturity, Fourth Edition

Claim & Use Your Emotional-Control Tools

  • Garden will teach you an easy and effective system of Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT & REBT).

Emotional Control: The Basic Life Skill

  • Unfortunately, counseling theories and practices are still in primitive stages of development.
  • This is markedly clear when so-called therapists can tell clients that they cannot control their feelings.
  • Yet, these same misguided therapists also tell these same clients that they are responsible for the feelings of those around them.

Nutty therapists, social workers, psychiatrists, nurses, and counselors basically preach the following hypocritical nonsense:

  1. You cannot control your own feelings.
  2. You can control the feelings of others.
  3. Your feelings are at the mercy of your environment.

These unthinking nuts demonstrate these silly beliefs whenever they ask or say something like the following:

“How did that make you feel?”

“How do you think that made them feel?”

“You cannot control your feelings.”

“You have to stop hurting them.”

“They should stop hurting you.”

According to these blind guides, you are not responsible for how you feel, but you are responsible for how others feel.

Therefore, you must control others to control how you feel.

Therefore, if your spouse is upset it is your fault.

Therefore, if you are upset it is someone or something else’s fault.

  • How can there be a sane world if you are responsible for making others have feelings but not yourself?
  • Clearly, these simpletons have it backward. You are responsible for how you feel not others.

The only way these misguided guides would have a chance to appear at all sane would be if they said that you are not responsible for your feelings or the feelings of others. But as long as they say you are not responsible for your own feelings but are responsible for the feelings of others—you had best avoid them and the games they are reinforcing and promoting.

Bottom Line

If you listen to those who say you cannot control your own feelings but you can control the feelings of others, then you are doomed to play the following game:

  • GAME: I have to control you to control how I feel and you have to control me to control how you feel!
  • RESULT: Now we are in an endless emotional power struggle based on voodoo emotions.
  • BLAME: Thanks to our wonderful therapist, we do not control how we feel and so we are out of control!

For more information read these other pages:

Quotations from Various Sources

Organized Alphabetically

“A fool is only a fool because he won’t see he is a fool.” —Kevin Everett FitzMaurice

“A man of genius makes no mistakes. His errors are volitional and are the portals of discovery.” —James Joyce

“But if ye be without chastisement, whereof all are partakers, then are ye bastards, and not sons.” —Hebrews 12:8

“By honestly acknowledging your past errors, but never damning yourself for them, you can learn to use your past for your own future benefit.” —Albert Ellis and Robert A. Harper, A Guide to Rational Living, Third Edition, p. 194

“Correction is grievous unto him that forsaketh the way: and he that hateth reproof shall die.” —Proverbs 15:5

“Failure doesn’t have anything to do with your intrinsic value as a person.” —Albert Ellis and Robert A. Harper, A Guide to Rational Living, Third Edition, p. 206

“For whom the Lord loveth he chasteneth, and scourgeth every son whom he receiveth.” —Hebrews 12:6

“If we eliminated all errors, we would also eliminate much discovery, art, insight, learning, and creativity that results from facing errors.” —Kevin Everett FitzMaurice

“If ye endure chastening, God dealeth with you as with sons; for what son is he whom the father chasteneth not?” —Hebrews 12:7

“My son, despise not the chastening of the LORD; neither be weary of his correction:” —Proverbs 3:11

“The great man is he who does not lose his child-heart.” —Mencius

“The greatest explorer on this earth never takes voyages as long as those of the man who descends to the depth of his heart.” —Julien Green

“The trouble with most of us is that we would rather be ruined by praise than saved by criticism.” —Norman Vincent Peale

“When receiving correction, the wise seeks to learn and the fool seeks to justify with excuses.” —Kevin Everett FitzMaurice

Quotations from Scripture

“A wise man will hear, and will increase learning; and a man of understanding shall attain unto wise counsels:” —Proverbs 1:5

“Where no counsel is, the people fall: but in the multitude of counselors there is safety.” —Proverbs 11:14

“The way of a fool is right in his own eyes: but he that hearkeneth unto counsel is wise.” —Proverbs 12:15

“Deceit is in the heart of them that imagine evil: but to the counselors of peace is joy.” —Proverbs 12:20

“Without counsel purposes are disappointed: but in the multitude of counselors they are established.” —Proverbs 15:22

“Hear counsel, and receive instruction, that thou mayest be wise in thy latter end.” —Proverbs 19:20

“Every purpose is established by counsel: and with good advice make war.” —Proverbs 20:18

“Take counsel, execute judgment; make thy shadow as the night in the midst of the noonday; hide the outcasts; bewray not him that wandereth.” —Isaiah 16:3

“Extol not thyself in the counsel of thine own heart; that thy soul be not torn in pieces as a bull [straying alone.]” —Ecclesiasticus 6:2

“As timber girt and bound together in a building cannot be loosed with shaking: so the heart that is stablished by advised counsel shall fear at no time.” —Ecclesiasticus 22:16

“Give not over thy mind to heaviness, and afflict not thyself in thine own counsel.” —Ecclesiasticus 30:21

“A man of counsel will be considerate; but a strange and proud man is not daunted with fear, even when of himself he hath done without counsel.” —Ecclesiasticus 32:18

“And let the counsel of thine own heart stand: for there is no man more faithful unto thee than it.” —Ecclesiasticus 37:13

“Let reason go before every enterprize, and counsel before every action.” —Ecclesiasticus 38:33

“Gold and silver make the foot stand sure: but counsel is esteemed above them both.” —Ecclesiasticus 40:25