• Dance Cycle: She attacks and he withdraws, because she demands contact and he demands protection.
• Punish Cycle: She attacks and he withdraws, because both want to deny the other’s need until they get their need met first.
• Hurt Cycle: She attacks and he withdraws, because both want to hurt the other until the other recognizes their hurt and needs.
• Fear Cycle: She attacks and he withdraws, because both are anxious and scared about exposing their needs to more disappointment and hurt.
• Anger Cycle: She attacks and he withdraws, because she is angry about not being comforted and soothed (understood), and he is angry about not being encouraged and supported (valued).