Blaming, Damning, Hating, & Judging
Blaming is the problem, not the solution. Here are many quotations from many sources expressing the idea that blaming is destructive.
Blaming Is the Problem More Often than Not
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Quotations Various Sources: Blaming Is the Problem
Listed Alphabetically
“A good leader takes a little more than his share of the blame, a little less than his share of the credit.” —Arnold H. Glasgow
“A man can get discouraged many times but he is not a failure until he begins to blame somebody else and stops trying.” —John Burroughs
“A man may fall many times but he won’t be a failure until he says someone pushed him.” —Elmer G. Letterman
“A man should never be ashamed to own he has been in the wrong, which is but saying, in other words, that he is wiser today than he was yesterday.” —Alexander Pope
“All blame is a waste of time. No matter how much fault you find with another, and regardless of how much you blame him, it will not change you.” —Wayne Dyer
“And be silent for the most part, or else make only the most necessary remarks, and express these in few words. But rarely, and when occasion requires you to talk, talk, indeed, but about no ordinary topics. Do not talk about gladiators, or horseraces, or athletes, or things to eat or drink–topics that arise on all occasions; but above all, do not talk about people, either blaming, or praising, or comparing them.” —Epictetus, Enchiridion
“And just as two wrongs don’t make a right, rage against offenders is probably the worst way to try to correct them.” —Albert Ellis and Robert A. Harper, A Guide to Rational Living, Third Edition, p. 130
“Any fool can criticize, condemn, and complain and most fools do.” —Benjamin Franklin
“As long as the mind is in conflict–blaming, resisting, condemning–there can be no understanding. If I want to understand you, I must not condemn you, obviously.” —J. Krishnamurti, The Collected Works of J. Krishnamurti, Volume V, page 51
“Be slow to anger, slow to blame, And slow to plead thy cause. But swift to speak of any gain That gives thy friend applause.” –Mary Whitcher, Shaker member
“Before we blame we should first see whether we cannot excuse.” —George C. Lichtenberg
“Blame is a lazy man’s wages.” —Danish Proverb
“Despise the crime, not the criminal.” —Japanese saying
“Do not look at the faults of others, or what others have done or not done; observe what you yourself have and have not done.” —Dhammapada, 4:4
“Do not weep; do not wax indignant. Understand.” —Baruch Spinoza
“Don’t be a blame thrower.” —Greg Hickman
“Don’t make excuses, make good.” —Elbert Hubbard
“Don’t see others’ faults, see your own. For if you dwell on others’ faults, your own get stronger.” —Dhammapada: Flaws, verses 252-253
“Even when people act nastily to you, don’t condemn them or retaliate.” —Albert Ellis and Robert A. Harper, A Guide to Rational Living, Third Edition, p. 205
“Fear less, hope more; eat less, chew more; whine less, breathe more; talk less, say more; hate less, love more; and all good things are yours.” —Swedish proverb
“Fix the problem, not the blame.” —Catherine Pulsifer
“Give not over thy mind to heaviness, and afflict not thyself in thine own counsel.” —Ecclesiasticus 30:21
“Hate is like acid. It can damage the vessel in which it is stored as well as destroy the object on which it is poured.” —Ann Landers
“Hatreds do not ever cease in this world by hating, but by love; this is an eternal truth.” —Dhammapada, 1:5
“He that is void of wisdom despiseth his neighbour: but a man of understanding holdeth his peace.” —Proverbs 11:12
“He therefore that despiseth, despiseth not man, but God, who hath also given unto us His holy Spirit.” —I Thessalonians 4:8
“I have yet to find the man, however exalted his station, who did not do better work and put forth greater effort under a spirit of approval than under a spirit of criticism.” —Charles M. Schwab
“I praise loudly, I blame softly.” —Catherine II of Russia
“I will permit no man to narrow and degrade my soul by making me hate him.” —Booker Taliaferro Washington, 1856-1915
“If I condemn something, I do not understand it.” —J. Krishnamurti, The Collected Works of J. Krishnamurti, Volume V, page 335
“If you could kick the person in the pants responsible for most of your trouble, you wouldn’t sit for a month.” —Anonymous
“If you would stop, really stop, damning yourself, others, and unkind conditions, you would find it almost impossible to upset yourself emotionally–about anything. Yes, anything.” —Albert Ellis and Robert A. Harper, A Guide to Rational Living, Third Edition, p. 127
“In short, luck’s always to blame.” —Jean De La Fontaine
“It is the part of an uneducated person to blame others where he himself fares ill; to blame himself is the part of one whose education has begun; to blame neither another nor his own self is the part of one whose education is already complete.” —Epictetus, Enchiridion
“Let us not burden our remembrances with a heaviness that is gone.” —William Shakespeare
“Make every effort not to indulge in negative thoughts, cruel words, and bad deeds.” —Dhammapada: The Right Way, verse 281
“Never succumb to the temptation of becoming bitter. As you press for justice, be sure to move with dignity and discipline, using only the instruments of love.” —Martin Luther King Jr.
“No man ever got very high by pulling other people down. The intelligent merchant does not knock his competitors. The sensible worker does not work those who work with him. Don’t knock your friends. Don’t knock your enemies. Don’t knock yourself.” —Alfred Lord Tennyson, 1809–1892, English poet
“No one is a failure until they blame somebody else.” —Charles (Tremendous) Jones
“Overcome anger by love, overcome evil by good. Overcome the miser by giving, overcome the liar by truth.” —Dhammapada,17:3
“People are always blaming their circumstances for what they are. I don’t believe in circumstances. The people who get on in this world are the people who get up and look for the circumstances they want, and, if they can’t find them, make them.” —George Bernard Shaw
“Take your life in your own hands, and what happens? A terrible thing: no one to blame.” —Erica Jong
“Teaching the principle of emotional responsibility can be one of the hardest tasks in REBT as clients may have habitually blamed others for their problems and now the therapist is pointing to the true source of their emotional problems–themselves.” —Michael Neenan and Windy Dryden, Rational Emotive Behavior Therapy: Advances in Theory and Practice, page 43
“The farther behind I leave the past, the closer I am to forging my own character.” —Isabelle Eberhardt
“The moment you blame anyone for anything, your relationship and your personal power deteriorate.” —Brian Koslow
“The search for someone to blame is always successful.” —Robert Half
“The superior man blames himself. The inferior man blames others.” —Don Shula
“There can be no doubt that the average man blames much more than he praises. His instinct is to blame. If he is satisfied he says nothing; if he is not, he most illogically kicks up a row.” —Arnold Bennett
“There’s man all over for you, blaming on his boots the fault of his feet.” —Samuel Becket
“Three core irrationalities: A philosophy of self-denigration, an intolerance of frustration, a blaming and condemning of others.” —Walen, S., R., DiGiuseppe, R., and Dryden, W. (1992), A Practitioner’s Guide to Rational-Emotive Therapy (2nd edition), p.128
“To find a fault is easy; to do better may be difficult.” —Plutarch
“We can actually put the essence of neurosis in a single word: blaming–or damning.” —Albert Ellis and Robert A. Harper, A Guide to Rational Living, Third Edition, p. 127
“When a man points a finger at someone else, he should remember that four of his fingers are pointing at himself.” —Louis Nizer
“When we blame, we give away our power.” —Greg Anderson
“When you blame others, you give up your power to change.” —Anonymous
“When you blame others, you give up your power to change.” —Dr. Robert Anthony
“You can overcome anything if you don’t bellyache.” —Bernard Baruch
“You can overcome anything if you don’t bellyache.” —Bernard M. Baruch
“You cannot solve a problem by condemning it.” —Wayne Dwyer
“You will become a teacher of yourself when for the same things that you blame others, you also blame yourself.” —Diogenes of Sinope, fragment
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Blaming Is the Problem Quotations from Kevin Everett FitzMaurice
Listed Alphabetically
“Being right does not give you the right to damn.” —Kevin Everett FitzMaurice
“Damning is the worst form of demanding.” —Kevin Everett FitzMaurice
“Damning is turning the living into things, into the dead.” —Kevin Everett FitzMaurice
“Damning is when the cure is worse than the illness.” —Kevin Everett FitzMaurice
“Damning is when the medicine is worse than the poison.” —Kevin Everett FitzMaurice
“Damning people for their crimes is the bigger crime.” —Kevin Everett FitzMaurice
“Feeling bad won’t make you good.” —Kevin Everett FitzMaurice
“Feeling stupid won’t make you smart.” —Kevin Everett FitzMaurice
“Only God can damn without serving Satan.” —Kevin Everett FitzMaurice
“The whiner equates pain with power.” —Kevin Everett FitzMaurice
“There is only one human species, to damn any member of that species is to damn the entire species.” —Kevin Everett FitzMaurice
“To condemn anyone is to condemn not only everyone, but their maker too.” —Kevin Everett FitzMaurice
“To damn anyone requires that you first damn your self.” —Kevin Everett FitzMaurice
“Whining, blaming, and damning is throwing dust into the wind only for it to return to hurt your eyes.” —Kevin Everett FitzMaurice
“You are what you hate, not what you ate.” —Kevin Everett FitzMaurice
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