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My Problem with Coping Is Blame

Blaming Is Not Coping


My Blaming & Damning Defeats My Coping!

The Secret of Maturity, Third Edition for 99¢ will teach you how to own the power of emotional responsibility.

“He therefore that despiseth, despiseth not man, but God, who hath also given unto us His holy Spirit.”–I Thessalonians 4:8

“We can actually put the essence of neurosis in a single word: blaming–or damning.”–Albert Ellis and Robert A. Harper, A Guide to Rational Living, Third Edition, p. 127


COPING PROBLEMS

  • Coping is acceptance.
  • Blame is not a form of acceptance.
  • Damning is not a form of acceptance.
  • Blaming and damning are coping problems.
  • Blaming and damning can only increase coping problems, not solve them.
  • Blaming and damning create, increase, and spread problems, not fix them.

If you need to say “no” to something, then study negation, not damning.


Related Pages

  1. 8 Thinking Skills for Detaching
  2. Blame Issues: List of Pages
  3. Coping Skills: Weakness Is Strength
  4. Deconstructivism: The Answer
  5. Use Negation, Not Destruction
  6. What Is Thinking Good For?

Book cover for Garden


QUOTATIONS VARIOUS SOURCES

Organized Alphabetically

“And just as two wrongs don’t make a right, rage against offenders is probably the worst way to try to correct them.”–Albert Ellis and Robert A. Harper, A Guide to Rational Living, Third Edition, p. 130

“Any fool can criticize, condemn, and complain and most fools do.”–Benjamin Franklin

“Being right does not give you the right to damn.”–Kevin Everett FitzMaurice

“Condemn the sin, not the sinner.”–Christian saying

“Damning is the worst form of demanding.”–Kevin Everett FitzMaurice

“Damning is turning the living into things, into the dead.”–Kevin Everett FitzMaurice

“Damning is when the cure is worse than the illness.”–Kevin Everett FitzMaurice

“Damning is when the medicine is worse than the poison.”–Kevin Everett FitzMaurice

“Despise the crime, not the criminal.”–Japanese saying

“Do not weep; do not wax indignant. Understand.”–Baruch Spinoza

“Even when people act nastily to you, don’t condemn them or retaliate.”–Albert Ellis and Robert A. Harper, A Guide to Rational Living, Third Edition, p. 205

“Fear less, hope more; eat less, chew more; whine less, breathe more; talk less, say more; hate less, love more; and all good things are yours.”–Swedish proverb

“Feeling bad won’t make you good.”–Kevin Everett FitzMaurice

“Feeling stupid won’t make you smart.”–Kevin Everett FitzMaurice

“Give not over thy mind to heaviness, and afflict not thyself in thine own counsel.”–Ecclesiasticus 30:21

“He that is void of wisdom despiseth his neighbour: but a man of understanding holdeth his peace.”–Proverbs 11:12

“He therefore that despiseth, despiseth not man, but God, who hath also given unto us His holy Spirit.”–I Thessalonians 4:8

“I will permit no man to narrow and degrade my soul by making me hate him.”–Booker Taliaferro Washington, 1856-1915

“If you would stop, really stop, damning yourself, others, and unkind conditions, you would find it almost impossible to upset yourself emotionally–about anything. Yes, anything.”–Albert Ellis and Robert A. Harper, A Guide to Rational Living, Third Edition, p. 127

“Let us not burden our remembrances with a heaviness that is gone.”–William Shakespeare

“One does not hate so long as one continues to rate low, but only when one has come to rate equal or higher.”–Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche, Beyond Good and Evil

“Only God can damn without serving Satan.”–Kevin Everett FitzMaurice

“The moment you blame anyone for anything, your relationship and your personal power deteriorate.”–Brian Koslow

“The whiner equates pain with power.”–Kevin Everett FitzMaurice

“To call others judgmental is judgmental.”–Kevin Everett FitzMaurice

“To condemn is stupid and easy, but to understand is arduous, requiring pliability and intelligence.”–J. Krishnamurti, The Collected Works of J. Krishnamurti, Volume IV, p. 143

“We can actually put the essence of neurosis in a single word: blaming–or damning.”–Albert Ellis and Robert A. Harper, A Guide to Rational Living, Third Edition, p. 127

“When a man points a finger at someone else, he should remember that four of his fingers are pointing at himself.”–Louis Nizer

“When you point a finger at another, you are also pointing three fingers at yourself.”–Anonymous (often quoted in AA in various forms)

“You are what you hate not what you ate.”–Kevin Everett FitzMaurice

“You can overcome anything if you don’t bellyache.”–Bernard Baruch

“You can overcome anything if you don’t bellyache.”–Bernard M. Baruch

“You cannot solve a problem by condemning it.”–Wayne Dwyer

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