Agree, Ask to Understand, Ask to Help
- Attitude Is All You Need! Second Edition will help you to improve your attitude, which improves everything else.
- Neither All Yours Nor All Mine
- My intended message versus my received message.
- My intended message versus my sent message.
- My living experience versus the death of experience in words.
- The ideal means of communicating versus communicating using problem-prone language.
- The ideal of being understood versus the reality of partial and limited understanding.
- The ideal of communicating what I mean versus the actuality of trying to communicate what I mean.
- The ideal of communication versus actual communication.
- The ideal of how I want to be responded to versus how I am actually responded to.
- The ideal of intimate sharing of meaning versus the limited sharing that actually occurs.
- The ideal of sharing one experience versus the reality of their relating their own experiences to my symbols.
- The ideal of what I mean versus the expression of what I mean.
- The way I want to be perceived versus the way I am perceived.
- Acceptance versus demands.
- Brevity versus details.
- Communication versus lack of communication.
- Compassion versus challenge.
- Confession versus rationalization.
- Directness versus indirectness.
- Emotion versus reason.
- Fact versus fiction.
- Forgiveness versus resentment.
- Formal versus causal.
- Honesty versus fabrication.
- Integrity versus inauthenticity.
- Result versus relaxation.
- Safety versus risk.
- Self versus others.
- Silence versus sound.
- Speed versus timing.
- Standing it versus fear.
- Trusting God versus trusting man.
- Vulnerability versus defenses.
- Read for maps and diagrams of how we communicate.
Quotations from Various Sources
“Among my most prized possessions are words that I have never spoken.” —Orson Card
“But as he which hath called you is holy, so be ye holy in all manner of conversation;” —I Peter 1:15
“Don’t speak unless you can improve on the silence.” —Spanish proverb
“Draw me not away with the wicked, and with the workers of iniquity, which speak peace to their neighbours, but mischief is in their hearts.” —Psalms 28:3
“Foolishness always results when the tongue outraces the brain.” —Unknown
“Pleasant words are as an honeycomb, sweet to the soul, and health to the bones.” —Proverbs 16:24
“The first duty of love is to listen.” —Paul Tillich, 1886-1965
“The most precious things in speech are pauses.” —Ralph Richardson
“Treat a man as he is, and he will remain as he is. Treat a man as he could be, and he will become what he should be.” —Ralph Waldo Emerson