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Issues & Skills

Skill is under energy, not thought.


Issues & Skills Menu: 9 Sections

1. Anger Issues 2. Blame Issues 3. Communication Skills 4. Coping Skills 5. Counseling Issues 6. Praying Issues 7. Recovery Issues 8. Responsibility Issues 9. Thinking Skills

ANGER ISSUES: Free Information

Anger Issues & Anger Magement

• Breathe will teach you how to relax and regain self-control in just 4 seconds.

“Trusting anger gets you into the problem and trusting pride keeps you in it.”–Kevin Everett FitzMaurice

  1. Act Against Anger: Deal with Negative Feelings
  2. Eight Steps of Reacting: page 1 of 4
  3. Eight Steps of Reacting: page 2 of 4 Detail
  4. Eight Steps of Anger Reacting: page 3 Corrected
  5. Eight Steps of Anger Reacting: page 4 Example
  6. Facts about Anger
  7. Quotations by Topic: Anger
  8. Shit Happens, Deal with It
  9. STPHFR Understand Your Anger
  10. Twelve Steps of Reacting: page 1 of 4 Format
  11. Twelve Steps of Reacting: page 2 of 4 Detail
  12. Twelve Steps of Reacting: page 3 Example Simple
  13. Twelve Steps of Reacting: page 4 Example Formal

RELATED PAGES

  1. Coping Skills: Anxiety–12 Steps of Reacting
  2. Scripture by Topic: Anger

BLAME ISSUES: Free Information

Damning & Blaming Issues

• The Secret of Maturity, Third Edition for 99¢ will teach you how to own the power of emotional responsibility.

“Only God can damn without serving Satan.”–Kevin Everett FitzMaurice

“We can actually put the essence of neurosis in a single word: blaming–or damning.”–Albert Ellis and Robert A. Harper, A Guide to Rational Living, Third Edition, p. 127

  1. 5 Styles for Standards & Quality (5TP)
  2. Blame 6 Levels
  3. Blame or Responsibility: 100 Things You Can Blame
  4. Control What You Can
  5. Control What You Choose to Feed
  6. Damning: Attachment & Detachment
  7. Damning & Blaming Increase Problems
  8. Damning & Blaming: Consequences of
  9. Damning Defeats Coping
  10. Damning Self & The 7 Main Emotions
  11. Damning: Shoulds & Ego
  12. Damning: The Problem & The Solution
  13. Damning Traits versus Correction Traits
  14. Damning, Whining & Blaming Prevent Solutions
  15. Emotional Maturity 6 Levels
  16. Emotional Responsibility (ER): Diagram
  17. One Hundred Reasons to Stop Damning
  18. Quotations by Topic: Damning & Blaming
  19. Response of Responsibility
  20. Scripture by Topic: Damning
  21. Stimulus Responsibility: Before & After a Stimulus
  22. Use Negation, Not Destruction

RELATED PAGES

  1. Coping Skills: Becoming Is the Enemy
  2. Coping Skills: Depression–12 Steps of Reacting
  3. Poems by Topic: Space Between Sadness
  4. Responsibility Issues: Parable on Responsibility

COMMUNICATION SKILLS: Free Information

Communication Skills, Methods & Practices

• Attitude Is All You Need! Second Edition will help you to improve your attitude, which improves everything else.

“First, don’t interpret or add to what they said–just hear it and share it back.”–Kevin Everett FitzMaurice

  1. 5 Parenting Styles (5TP)
  2. Communication Dualities
  3. Difficult People: How to Handle
  4. Don’t Argue Reality
  5. Double-Binds: How to Respond
  6. Ego Maintains Fights
  7. Eighteen Communication Guides
  8. Empathic to Narcissistic: 5 Styles Using 5TP
  9. Golden Rule: To Have Friends Be a Friend
  10. Happy Relationships Are Easy
  11. “I” Statements for Less Conflict
  12. “I” Statements: Advanced Version
  13. Ins & Outs of Communication
  14. Marital Conflict Solved
  15. Parenting: 4 Main Failures
  16. Parenting: A Strategy of Reciprocity
  17. Parenting: Help Children Think for Themselves
  18. Parenting: Kevin’s 10 Rules
  19. Parenting: Single Parenting Issues
  20. Passive to Aggressive: 5 Styles Using 5TP
  21. Personalizing: Why did they do that to me?
  22. Relational Styles: 25 Based on 5 Thinking Positions
  23. Roles As Masks
  24. Semantics & Words
  25. What Do Men Want?
  26. What Do Women Want?
  27. What’s It All About?
  28. Whiners: Learn How to Stop Them

RELATED PAGES

  1. Quotations by Topic: Communication
  2. Self-Esteem Issues: Freud’s Ego Defense Mechanisms
  3. Scripture by Topic: Gossip

COPING SKILLS: Free Information

Coping Methods, Skills & Practices

• Stress for Success, Second Edition for 99¢ will teach you how to make stress work for you.

  1. 2 Healthy Options for Coping
  2. 4 Seconds Is All You Need
  3. 5 Stress Attitudes Using 5TP
  4. 5 Stress Kinds or Types Using 5TP
  5. 5As of Coping with Life & Reality
  6. 5Fs of the Survival Instinct (5TP)
  7. 10 Ways to Change & Control Others
  8. 12 Steps Stop Shit
  9. Acceptance: A Step Towards
  10. Alone Is Not Lonely
  11. Anxiety & Worry
  12. Anxiety & Worry: 12 Steps of Reacting
  13. Attitude Power
  14. Becoming Is the Enemy
  15. Better Choose Better
  16. Books for Reading & Reference
  17. Bored Are Boring!
  18. Clean Your Mind
  19. Coherence Is the Goal
  20. Coping Quotations: AA
  21. Coping Quotations: Alone
  22. Coping Quotations: Anger
  23. Coping Quotations: Dealing with Difficulties
  24. Coping Quotations: Worry
  25. Coping Statements to Repeat
  26. Correction Is My Friend or Foe?
  27. Depression: 12 Steps of Reacting
  28. Detachment & Identity
  29. Dieting: Lose Weight Permanently
  30. Do the Right Thing Anyway
  31. Effort Is Inescapable: Choose Right Effort
  32. Emotional Maturity & Responsibility
  33. Failure Is Not Final
  34. Fair or Equal Is a Death Wish
  35. Forgiveness Requires Forgiveness
  36. Four Steps to End Emotional Pain
  37. Garden Your Mind: 3Rs
  38. Green Tea: List of Pages
  39. Humility Is Not Humiliating
  40. Inner Conflict
  41. Instant Yoga
  42. Maturity: 6 Levels for Your Happiness
  43. Maturity Defined & Quotations On Maturity
  44. Mindfulness Is Either Animalism Or Spiritualism
  45. Miscellaneous Quotations this Author
  46. Morning Reading Promoting Coping
  47. Negative Feelings: How to Deal With
  48. Parenting: 4 Main Failures
  49. Parenting: Kevin’s 10 Rules
  50. Perfectionism Has its Perfect Place
  51. Prayer Works: 3 Steps
  52. Preferences Over Shoulds Over Musts
  53. Problem & Solution
  54. Procrastination with 3 Solutions
  55. Roles versus Masks
  56. Secret of Life
  57. Self-Defeating Behaviors
  58. Shame of Self Is an Enemy
  59. Six Steps to End Emotional Pain
  60. Stop Acting Stupid
  61. Stress Is Musts
  62. Suffering: The Cause of
  63. Think Better Feel Better
  64. Three Kinds of Meditation
  65. Three Simple Steps to Sanity
  66. Three Tests for Practical Living
  67. Two Healthy Options: Problem-Solving & Coping
  68. Weakness Is Strength
  69. What I Learned from Riding a Bicycle
  70. Why Not Why?
  71. Why Wait for Magic?
  72. Work Is Wonderful
  73. Worry: What Is Worry Good For?

RELATED PAGES

  1. Anger Issues: Act Against Anger
  2. Blame Issues: Damning Defeats Coping
  3. Blame Issues: Damning, Whining & Blaming
  4. Communication Skills: Parenting–4 Main Failures
  5. Communication Skills: Parenting–A Strategy
  6. Communication Skills: Parenting–Kevin’s 8 Rules
  7. Poems by Topic: Space Between Sadness
  8. Quotations by Topic: Coping with Difficulties
  9. Quotations by Topic: Solitude
  10. Recovery Issues: Cause of Addictions
  11. Responsibility Issue: Parable on Responsibility
  12. Responsibility Issues: Trying is Planning to Fail
  13. Scripture by Topic: Temptation
  14. Thinking Skills: Meditation Right
  15. Viktor Frankl on Meaning As Coping (youtube): External Link

COUNSELING ISSUES: Free Information

Psychotherapy & Counseling

• Carl Rogers, Control Freak will teach you the real technique and how to save it.

• Garden will teach you an easy and effective system of Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT).

“Let reason go before every enterprize, and counsel before every action.”–Ecclesiasticus 38:33

  1. 8 Counseling Issues to Focus On
  2. 9 Superstitions of Counselors & Therapists Regarding Feelings
  3. Albert Ellis 2nd Most Influential Psychotherapist: External Link
  4. Albert Ellis: “The New Yorker” Article
  5. Answering “Why” Something Happened
  6. Anxiety: Notes on
  7. Better Choose Better
  8. Books for Reading & Reference
  9. Brief CBT Explained in 6 Lines
  10. Brief CBT Explained in 12 Lines
  11. CBT, REBT & FitzMaurice
  12. CBT (Cognitive Behavioral Therapy), CT & REBT Quotations
  13. Carl Rogers, How to Save His Work
  14. Change & 15 Beliefs Regarding Change
  15. Change: Is it Possible?
  16. Client Intake & Processing Forms
  17. Client’s Rights & Responsibilities
  18. Conditioning Factors: Many Kinds
  19. Confidentiality: 10 Limits to
  20. Copyright Information
  21. Counseling Notes on
  22. Couple Counseling Strategy
  23. Dental Analogy of Counseling (3Rs)
  24. Depression: Notes on
  25. Disclaimer Information Regarding Intention of this Website
  26. Emotional Control: Use Your Tools
  27. Emotions: 7 Problematic
  28. External or Internal Focus?
  29. Feeling Superstitions: 9 Common Ones of Counselors
  30. First Question in Counseling
  31. Four Keys to Counseling
  32. Four Keys to Mental Health
  33. Four Kinds of Counselors
  34. Free Handouts in PDF Format: 91
  35. Freedom: Psychological
  36. Freud’s Ego Defense Mechanisms
  37. Garden Your Mind to Keep it Healthy
  38. Golden Rule of Mental Health
  39. Insight Levels & Movement
  40. Law of Attraction & Visualization
  41. Maturity & Emotions
  42. Mental Health Field Professions Defined
  43. Metatheory of Counseling: 3Rs
  44. Motivating Questions to Ask
  45. Motivation: 3Ps of
  46. Move Beyond Duality Technique (MBD)
  47. Movies: Recommended for Being Good
  48. Musts: Friend & Foe
  49. Nine Fundamental Thinking Errors
  50. Nine Ways to Upset Yourself & Others
  51. Psychoanalysis: The Problems with Solutions
  52. Questions to Ask Yourself
  53. Questions (10) to Ask a Prospective Counselor
  54. Quotations by Topic: Counseling
  55. REBT Is Deeper than CBT, CT & other Counseling Theories
  56. REBT’s 4 Issues As a System
  57. REBT’s 10 Must Scripts for Life
  58. REBT’s 11 Irrational Beliefs
  59. REBT’s ABCs of Emotions
  60. REBT’s Main Website
  61. REBT Websites for More Information: External Links
  62. Reasons Why You Do What You Do
  63. Reform Versus Mental Health
  64. Relate to Experience: How do you?
  65. STPHFR Insights on Emotions
  66. STPHFR Theory of Emotions
  67. Second Question in Counseling
  68. Self-talk: 4 Options for Dealing with Disturbing
  69. Seven Questions to Ask Yourself
  70. Test Your Thinking for its Results
  71. The 3Rs of Counseling
  72. The 4Rs of Skill Learning
  73. Therapy Simplified Into 4 Opposing Issues
  74. Third Question in Counseling
  75. Thirty-five Stages of Switching or Counseling
  76. Three Client Types
  77. Three Goals of Counseling
  78. Three Stages of Switching or Counseling
  79. Three Treatment Plan Goals & 3 Session Goals
  80. Transference & Counseling
  81. Trauma Treatment Information
  82. Unconditional Self-Esteem (USE): Defined
  83. Unconditional Self-Esteem (USE), (UOE), (ULE) & (UAE): Examples
  84. Unconditional Self-Esteem (USE), (UOE), (ULE) & (UAE): Reasons
  85. Ventilation: To Reinforce or To Let Go?
  86. Victim Script Defined
  87. Visualization: The Technique

RELATED PAGES

  1. CBT, CT & REBT Cognitive Psychotherapies: List of Pages
  2. Quotations by Topic: Counseling
  3. Rational Emotive Behavior Therapy (REBT): Websites External Links
  4. Responsibility Issues: Shoelaces Parable on Responsibility
  5. Scripture by Topic: Counseling
  6. Self-Esteem Issues: List of Pages
  7. Thinking Skills: Seven Thinking Errors of CT

PRAYING ISSUES: Free Information

Praying & Prayers

“And when thou prayest, thou shalt not be as the hypocrites are: for they love to pray standing in the synagogues and in the corners of the streets, that they may be seen of men. Verily I say unto you, They have their reward. But thou, when thou prayest, enter into thy closet, and when thou hast shut thy door, pray to thy Father which is in secret; and thy Father which seeth in secret shall reward thee openly.”–Matthew 6:5-6

“The function of prayer is not to influence God, but rather to change the nature of the one who prays.”–Søren Kierkegaard

  1. “Desiderata” by Max Ehrmann
  2. Lord’s Prayer: New Testament
  3. Morning Reading to Promote Serenity
  4. Prayer Works: 3 Steps
  5. Right Prayer
  6. Prayer of Saint Francis
  7. “Serenity Prayer” by Reinhold Niebuhr
  8. Surrender Prayer
  9. What You Serve Is What You Get
  10. When & Where to Pray: New Testament

RELATED PAGES

  1. New Testament: List of Links to Books
  2. Poems by Topic: Be Me
  3. Poems by Topic: Churchianity
  4. Poems by Topic: Fight the Good Fight
  5. Poems by Topic: “IF” by Rudyard Kipling
  6. Poems by Topic: Pray for Suffering
  7. Poems by Topic: Reflections
  8. Poems by Topic: Somebody Please
  9. Poems by Topic: Upside-Down
  10. Poems by Topic: Who is My World?
  11. Scripture by Topic: List of Pages

RECOVERY ISSUES: Free Information

Addiction Recovery Issues & Topics

  • Garbage Rules will prod you to face your self-defeating thinking that’s keeping you addicted.
  • Ego will help you to understand and overcome the underlying problem in your addiction.

“Recovery is the process of recovering who you were as a child.”–Kevin Everett FitzMaurice

  1. 5 Levels of Living Life: Assess Yours
  2. 12 Steps of Anger Reacting
  3. 12 Steps of Anxiety Reacting
  4. 12 Steps of Depression
  5. 12 Steps of Recovery: Rewritten & Simplified
  6. 12 Steps Stop Shit
  7. 12 Steps to Keep the Shit Going
  8. Alcoholics Anonymous (AA): The 12 Steps of
  9. Alcoholics Anonymous (AA): The 12 Traditions of
  10. Cause of Addictions
  11. Choose Higher when Tempted by Lower
  12. Do the Good More & Do the Bad Less
  13. Emotionalize New Behaviors & Beliefs
  14. How to Quit in 5 Steps
  15. Quotations & Slogans from AA
  16. Reduce Problems & Stuff
  17. Relapse Prevention: 3 Steps
  18. SAD: 3 Step Program of Recovery
  19. Secret of Life
  20. Serenity Prayer: Help with Acceptance
  21. Seven Pillars of Recovery
  22. Stimulation As Motivation
  23. Temptation: A Strategy to Overcome
  24. The Four Absolutes: Oxford Group External Link
  25. Use Negation, Not Destruction
  26. Yoga Practice Points

RELATED PAGES

  1. Quotations by Topic: Acceptance

RESPONSIBILITY ISSUES: Free Information

Responsibility Issues & Topics

• The Secret of Maturity, Third Edition for 99¢ will teach you how to own the power of emotional responsibility.

“Responsibility is not limited to behavior. Responsibility must also be taken for thinking and feeling if one wishes to claim maturity.”–Kevin Everett FitzMaurice

  1. 3Rs: Recognize, Remove & Replace Problems
  2. About It, Is Not It
  3. Apologies Can Be Real
  4. Better Choose Better
  5. Blame 6 Levels
  6. Blame or Responsibility: 100 Things You Can Blame
  7. Challenging & Disputing Thinking Errors
  8. Choose Higher when Tempted by Lower
  9. Control What You Can
  10. Control What You Choose to Feed
  11. Drum Circle Experiment
  12. Emotional Maturity 6 Levels
  13. Emotional Responsibility (ER): Diagram
  14. Feed Feelings: 12 Ways
  15. Fights Diagram: Ego Causes & Maintains Hurt & Anger
  16. Four Seconds Is All You Need to Relax
  17. Golden Rule: The (Quotations)
  18. How Media & Politicians Lie: 8LS
  19. Meditation Simplified
  20. Motivation 6 Step Cycle from Attitude Is All You Need! Second Edition
  21. Non-Doing & Non-Action
  22. Parable on Responsibility
  23. REBT’s ABCs of Emotions
  24. Response of Responsibility
  25. Secret of Life
  26. Seek-or-Shun Response & 5TP
  27. Self-Control: Act Opposite of Feelings
  28. Shoelaces Parable: 4 Life Lessons
  29. S-R Thinking (Stimulus-Response)
  30. STPHFR Infographic
  31. STPHFR Model Explains Feelings & Behaviors
  32. Stimulus Responsibility: Before & After a Stimulus
  33. Suffer Well: Choice Helps
  34. Trying Is Planning to Fail
  35. Will: The 7 Options for What to Will

RELATED PAGES

  1. Anger Issues: Act Against Anger
  2. CBT, CT & REBT Cognitive Psychotherapies: List of Pages
  3. Coping Skills: Control Others
  4. Coping Skills: Why Wait for Magic?
  5. Counseling Issues: 9 Feeling Superstitions
  6. Ego Issues: Becoming Is the Enemy
  7. Poems by Topic: “IF” by Rudyard Kipling
  8. Quotations by Topic: Responsibility

THINKING SKILLS: Free Information

Thinking Skills, Tools & Right Reasoning

• We’re All Insane! Second Edition will teach you how to think better and saner.

“Two percent of the people think; three percent of the people think they think; and ninety-five percent of the people would rather die than think.”–George Bernard Shaw

Thinking Skills Can Help You To–

  • Learn how to think instead of what to think.
  • Discover how to think to help, not hinder yourself.
  • Discover how claims to know, do, or be are detrimental to your sanity.
  • Discover how deconstructivism can help free you from the tyranny of concepts for open experiencing.
  1. 3Rs (Recognize, Remove, Replace): Memes
  2. 6 Styles of Thinking
  3. 7 Thinking Positions Based on 5TP
  4. 8 Thinking Skills for Detaching
  5. 9 Thinking Positions Based on 5TP
  6. Atheism Is Superstitious
  7. Ballet & Thinking
  8. Beyond The Duality of Opposites
  9. Big versus Small Thinking
  10. Both-And Skill
  11. Choice Is a Delusion
  12. Circle Diagram of 5 Thinking Positions (5TP)
  13. Constructivism: Pros & Cons
  14. Continuum Knowledge
  15. Deconstructivism: The Answer
  16. Descartes’ Dualism & the 7 Realities
  17. Duality & Opposites
  18. Eastern Psychology
  19. Ego’s Know-Better Payoffs
  20. Ego: The Four Kinds
  21. Ego: The Tripartite Nature of
  22. Evolution Exploitation Exposed
  23. Five Survival Styles
  24. Five Thinking Positions
  25. Five Thinking Styles
  26. General Semantics & Contact
  27. Global Attitudes
  28. Hierarchy Natural
  29. How Media & Politicians Lie: 8LS
  30. How to Help the Poor
  31. How to Save the World
  32. Human Rights: United Nations Declaration
  33. Know, Do, & Be Thinking
  34. Levels of Existence
  35. Life Is Positive, Neutral, Or Negative?
  36. Limitations of Thought
  37. Meditation: The Right Kind
  38. Messenger & Message Problem
  39. Mind Is a Magnet
  40. Nazi Thinking: Hive MInd
  41. Nine Causes of Everyday Madness or Neurosis
  42. One + One = Three
  43. Perfectionism Has its Perfect Place
  44. Pinhead Arguments Rarely Work
  45. Postmodern Foolishness
  46. Postmodernism & Constructivism Exposed
  47. Quotations on Thinking
  48. REBT’s 10 Must Scripts
  49. REBT’s 11 Irrational Beliefs
  50. Rational & Helpful Thoughts: 50
  51. Revolution: How to Succeed
  52. Science versus Scientism
  53. Second-Order Thinking
  54. Self: The Model of
  55. Semantics & Words
  56. Spiritual Development 12 Stages
  57. Spiritual Development: First 5 of the 15
  58. Spiritual Development: Second 5 of the 15
  59. Spiritual Development: Third 5 of the 15
  60. Spirituality: What Is it?
  61. STPHFR Model of Feelings
  62. Superstitions: 9 about Feelings
  63. Superstitions: 42 Modern Ones
  64. Test Your Thinking
  65. Thinking Errors: 7 of CT
  66. Thinking Errors: 9 Basic Ones
  67. Thinking Errors: 12 Cognitive Biases (External link)
  68. Thinking Working on Thinking Fails
  69. Universality: The Way of Peace
  70. Use Negation, Not Destruction
  71. What Is Thinking Good For?
  72. What Is Yoga? What Is Instant Yoga?
  73. What, How & Why Questions
  74. Who Is My World?: Poem
  75. Word Sets for Using the 5 Thinking Positions

RELATED PAGES

  1. 5 Thinking Positions (5TP): List of Pages
  2. CBT, CT & REBT Cognitive Psychotherapies: List of Pages
  3. Communication Skills: Passive to Aggressive
  4. Coping Skills: Think Better Feel Better
  5. Counseling Issues: 25 Relational Styles
  6. Critical Thinking Skills: External Link
  7. Ego Issues: Becoming Is the Enemy
  8. Free Philosophy Courses: External Link
  9. Quotations by Topic: Thinking
  10. Responsibility Issues: About It Is Not It
  11. Responsibility Issues: S-R Thinking
  12. Responsibility Issues: STPHFR
  13. Responsibility Issues: STPHFR Insights
  14. Self-Esteem Issues: Feud’s Ego Defense Mechanisms
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