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Issues & Skills for Free Help

Skill is under energy, not thought.


Issues & Skills Menu: 9 Sections


1. ANGER ISSUES: Free Information

Anger Issues & Anger Magement

  • Breathe will teach you how to relax and regain self-control in just 4 seconds.

“Trusting anger gets you into the problem and trusting pride keeps you in it.” —Kevin Everett FitzMaurice

  1. Act Against Anger: Deal with Negative Feelings
  2. Eight Steps of Reacting: page 1 of 4
  3. Eight Steps of Reacting: page 2 of 4 Detail
  4. Eight Steps of Anger Reacting: page 3 Corrected
  5. Eight Steps of Anger Reacting: page 4 Example
  6. Facts about Anger
  7. Quotations by Topic: Anger
  8. Shit Happens, Deal with It
  9. STPHFR Understand Your Anger
  10. Twelve Steps of Reacting: page 1 of 4 Format
  11. Twelve Steps of Reacting: page 2 of 4 Detail
  12. Twelve Steps of Reacting: page 3 Example Simple
  13. Twelve Steps of Reacting: page 4 Example Formal

RELATED PAGES

  1. Coping Skills: Anxiety–12 Steps of Reacting
  2. Scripture by Topic: Anger

2. BLAME ISSUES: Free Information

Damning & Blaming Issues

“Only God can damn without serving Satan.” —Kevin Everett FitzMaurice

“We can actually put the essence of neurosis in a single word: blaming–or damning.” —Albert Ellis and Robert A. Harper, A Guide to Rational Living, Third Edition, p. 127

  1. 5 Styles for Standards & Quality (5TP)
  2. Blame 6 Levels
  3. Blame or Responsibility: 100 Things You Can Blame
  4. Control What You Can
  5. Control What You Choose to Feed
  6. Damning: Attachment & Detachment
  7. Damning & Blaming Increase Problems
  8. Damning & Blaming: Consequences of
  9. Damning Defeats Coping
  10. Damning Self & The 7 Main Emotions
  11. Damning: Shoulds & Ego
  12. Damning: The Problem & The Solution
  13. Damning Traits versus Correction Traits
  14. Damning, Whining & Blaming Prevent Solutions
  15. Emotional Maturity 6 Levels
  16. Emotional Responsibility (ER): Diagram
  17. One Hundred Reasons to Stop Damning
  18. Quotations by Topic: Damning & Blaming
  19. Response of Responsibility
  20. Scripture by Topic: Damning
  21. Stimulus Responsibility: Before & After a Stimulus
  22. Use Negation, Not Destruction

RELATED PAGES

  1. Coping Skills: Becoming Is the Enemy
  2. Coping Skills: Depression–12 Steps of Reacting
  3. Poems by Topic: Space Between Sadness
  4. Responsibility Issues: Parable on Responsibility

3. COMMUNICATION SKILLS: Free Information

Communication Skills, Methods & Practices

“First, don’t interpret or add to what they said–just hear it and share it back.” —Kevin Everett FitzMaurice

  1. 5 Parenting Styles (5TP)
  2. Communication Dualities
  3. Difficult People: How to Handle
  4. Don’t Argue Reality
  5. Double-Binds: How to Respond
  6. Ego Maintains Fights
  7. Eighteen Communication Guides
  8. Emotional Responsibility
  9. Empathic to Narcissistic: 5 Styles Using 5TP
  10. Golden Rule: To Have Friends Be a Friend
  11. Happy Relationships Are Easy
  12. “I” Statements for Less Conflict
  13. “I” Statements: Advanced Version
  14. Ins & Outs of Communication
  15. Marital Conflict Solved
  16. Parenting: 4 Main Failures
  17. Parenting: A Strategy of Reciprocity
  18. Parenting: Help Children Think for Themselves
  19. Parenting: Kevin’s 10 Rules
  20. Parenting: Single Parenting Issues
  21. Passive to Aggressive: 5 Styles Using 5TP
  22. Personalizing: Why did they do that to me?
  23. Relational Styles: 25 Based on 5 Thinking Positions
  24. Relationship Healing Exercise Using 5TP
  25. Roles As Masks
  26. Semantics & Words
  27. Universal Declaration of Human Rights: External Link
  28. What Do Men Want?
  29. What Do Women Want?
  30. What’s It All About?
  31. Whiners: Learn How to Stop Them

RELATED PAGES

  1. Quotations by Topic: Communication
  2. Self-Esteem Issues: Freud’s Ego Defense Mechanisms
  3. Scripture by Topic: Gossip

4. COPING SKILLS: Free Information

Coping Methods, Skills & Practices

  1. 2 Healthy Options for Coping
  2. 4 Seconds Is All You Need
  3. 5 Stress Attitudes Using 5TP
  4. 5 Stress Kinds or Types Using 5TP
  5. 5As of Coping with Life & Reality
  6. 5Fs of the Survival Instinct (5TP)
  7. 10 Ways to Change & Control Others
  8. 12 Steps Stop Shit
  9. Acceptance: A Step Towards
  10. Alone Is Not Lonely
  11. Anxiety & Worry
  12. Anxiety & Worry: 12 Steps of Reacting
  13. Attitude Power
  14. Becoming Is the Enemy
  15. Better Choose Better
  16. Books for Reading & Reference
  17. Bored Are Boring!
  18. Clean Your Mind
  19. Coherence Is the Goal
  20. Coping Quotations: AA
  21. Coping Quotations: Alone
  22. Coping Quotations: Anger
  23. Coping Quotations: Dealing with Difficulties
  24. Coping Quotations: Worry
  25. Coping Statements to Repeat
  26. Correction Is My Friend or Foe?
  27. Depression: 12 Steps of Reacting
  28. Detachment & Identity
  29. Dieting: Lose Weight Permanently
  30. Do the Right Thing Anyway
  31. Effort Is Inescapable: Choose Right Effort
  32. Emotional Maturity & Responsibility
  33. Failure Is Not Final
  34. Fair or Equal Is a Death Wish
  35. Forgiveness Requires Forgiveness
  36. Four Steps to End Emotional Pain
  37. Garden Your Mind: 3Rs
  38. Green Tea: List of Pages
  39. Humility Is Not Humiliating
  40. Inner Conflict
  41. Instant Yoga
  42. Maturity: 6 Levels for Your Happiness
  43. Maturity Defined & Quotations On Maturity
  44. Mindfulness Is Either Animalism Or Spiritualism
  45. Miscellaneous Quotations this Author
  46. Morning Reading Promoting Coping
  47. Negative Feelings: How to Deal With
  48. Parenting: 4 Main Failures
  49. Parenting: Kevin’s 10 Rules
  50. Perfectionism Has its Perfect Place
  51. Poem on Self-Care First
  52. Prayer Works: 3 Steps
  53. Preferences Over Shoulds Over Musts
  54. Problem & Solution
  55. Procrastination with 3 Solutions
  56. Roles versus Masks
  57. Secret of Life
  58. Self-Defeating Behaviors
  59. Shame of Self Is an Enemy
  60. Six Steps to End Emotional Pain
  61. Stop Acting Stupid
  62. Stress Is Musts
  63. Suffering: The Cause of
  64. Think Better Feel Better
  65. Three Kinds of Meditation
  66. Three Simple Steps to Sanity
  67. Three Tests for Practical Living
  68. Two Healthy Options: Problem-Solving & Coping
  69. Weakness Is Strength
  70. What I Learned from Riding a Bicycle
  71. Why Not Why?
  72. Why Wait for Magic?
  73. Work Is Wonderful
  74. Worry: What Is Worry Good For?

RELATED PAGES

  1. Anger Issues: Act Against Anger
  2. Blame Issues: Damning Defeats Coping
  3. Blame Issues: Damning, Whining & Blaming
  4. Communication Skills: Parenting–4 Main Failures
  5. Communication Skills: Parenting–A Strategy
  6. Communication Skills: Parenting–Kevin’s 8 Rules
  7. Poems by Topic: Space Between Sadness
  8. Quotations by Topic: Coping with Difficulties
  9. Quotations by Topic: Solitude
  10. Recovery Issues: Cause of Addictions
  11. Responsibility Issue: Parable on Responsibility
  12. Responsibility Issues: Trying is Planning to Fail
  13. Scripture by Topic: Temptation
  14. Thinking Skills: Meditation Right
  15. Viktor Frankl on Meaning As Coping (youtube): External Link

5. COUNSELING ISSUES: Free Information

Psychotherapy & Counseling

  • Carl Rogers, Control Freak will teach you the real technique and how to save it.
  • Garden will teach you an easy and effective system of Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT).

“Let reason go before every enterprise, and counsel before every action.” —Ecclesiasticus 38:33

  1. 8 Counseling Issues to Focus On
  2. 9 Superstitions of Counselors & Therapists Regarding Feelings
  3. Albert Ellis 2nd Most Influential Psychotherapist: External Link
  4. Albert Ellis: “The New Yorker” Article
  5. Answering “Why” Something Happened
  6. Anxiety: Notes on
  7. Better Choose Better
  8. Books for Reading & Reference
  9. Brief CBT Explained in 6 Lines
  10. Brief CBT Explained in 12 Lines
  11. CBT, REBT & FitzMaurice
  12. CBT (Cognitive Behavioral Therapy), CT & REBT Quotations
  13. Carl Rogers, How to Save His Work
  14. Change & 15 Beliefs Regarding Change
  15. Change: Is it Possible?
  16. Client Intake & Processing Forms
  17. Client’s Rights & Responsibilities
  18. Conditioning Factors: Many Kinds
  19. Confidentiality: 10 Limits to
  20. Copyright Information
  21. Counseling Notes on
  22. Couple Counseling Strategy
  23. Dental Analogy of Counseling (3Rs)
  24. Depression: Notes on
  25. Disclaimer Information Regarding Intention of this Website
  26. Emotional Control: Use Your Tools
  27. Emotional Responsibility
  28. Emotions: 7 Problematic
  29. External or Internal Focus?
  30. Feeling Superstitions: 9 Common Ones of Counselors
  31. First Question in Counseling
  32. Four Keys to Counseling
  33. Four Keys to Mental Health
  34. Four Kinds of Counselors
  35. Free Handouts in PDF Format: 91
  36. Freedom: Psychological
  37. Freud’s Ego Defense Mechanisms
  38. Garden Your Mind to Keep it Healthy
  39. Golden Rule of Mental Health
  40. Insight Levels & Movement
  41. Law of Attraction & Visualization
  42. Maturity & Emotions
  43. Mental Health Field Professions Defined
  44. Metatheory of Counseling: 3Rs
  45. Motivating Questions to Ask
  46. Motivation: 3Ps of
  47. Move Beyond Duality Technique (MBD)
  48. Movies: Recommended for Being Good
  49. Musts: Friend & Foe
  50. Nine Fundamental Thinking Errors
  51. Nine Ways to Upset Yourself & Others
  52. Psychoanalysis: The Problems with Solutions
  53. Questions to Ask Yourself
  54. Questions (10) to Ask a Prospective Counselor
  55. Quotations by Topic: Counseling
  56. REBT Is Deeper than CBT, CT & other Counseling Theories
  57. REBT’s 4 Issues As a System
  58. REBT’s 10 Must Scripts for Life
  59. REBT’s 11 Irrational Beliefs
  60. REBT’s ABCs of Emotions
  61. REBT’s Main Website
  62. REBT Websites for More Information: External Links
  63. Reasons Why You Do What You Do
  64. Reform Versus Mental Health
  65. Relate to Experience: How do you?
  66. Second Question in Counseling
  67. Self-talk: 4 Options for Dealing with Disturbing
  68. Seven Questions to Ask Yourself
  69. Sigmund Freud: Ego Defense Mechanisms
  70. STPHFR Insights on Emotions
  71. STPHFR Theory of Emotions
  72. Test Your Thinking for its Results
  73. The 3Rs of Counseling
  74. The 4Rs of Skill Learning
  75. Therapy Simplified Into 4 Opposing Issues
  76. Third Question in Counseling
  77. Thirty-five Stages of Switching or Counseling
  78. Three Client Types
  79. Three Goals of Counseling
  80. Three Stages of Switching or Counseling
  81. Three Treatment Plan Goals & 3 Session Goals
  82. Transference & Counseling
  83. Trauma Treatment Information
  84. Unconditional Self-Esteem (USE): Defined
  85. Unconditional Self-Esteem (USE), (UOE), (ULE) & (UAE): Examples
  86. Unconditional Self-Esteem (USE), (UOE), (ULE) & (UAE): Reasons
  87. Ventilation: To Reinforce or To Let Go?
  88. Victim Script Defined
  89. Visualization: The Technique

RELATED PAGES

  1. CBT, CT & REBT Cognitive Psychotherapies: List of Pages
  2. Quotations by Topic: Counseling
  3. Rational Emotive Behavior Therapy (REBT): Websites External Links
  4. Responsibility Issues: Shoelaces Parable on Responsibility
  5. Scripture by Topic: Counseling
  6. Self-Esteem Issues: List of Pages
  7. Thinking Skills: Seven Thinking Errors of CT

6. PRAYING ISSUES: Free Information

Praying & Prayers

“And when thou prayest, thou shalt not be as the hypocrites are: for they love to pray standing in the synagogues and in the corners of the streets, that they may be seen of men. Verily I say unto you, They have their reward. But thou, when thou prayest, enter into thy closet, and when thou hast shut thy door, pray to thy Father which is in secret; and thy Father which seeth in secret shall reward thee openly.” —Matthew 6:5-6

“The function of prayer is not to influence God, but rather to change the nature of the one who prays.” —Søren Kierkegaard

  1. “Desiderata” by Max Ehrmann
  2. Lord’s Prayer: New Testament
  3. Morning Reading to Promote Serenity
  4. Prayer Works: 3 Steps
  5. Right Prayer
  6. Prayer of Saint Francis
  7. “Serenity Prayer” by Reinhold Niebuhr
  8. Surrender Prayer
  9. What You Serve Is What You Get
  10. When & Where to Pray: New Testament

RELATED PAGES

  1. 4 Main Spiritual Failures
  2. New Testament: List of Links to Books
  3. Poems by Topic: Be Me
  4. Poems by Topic: Churchianity
  5. Poems by Topic: Fight the Good Fight
  6. Poems by Topic: “IF” by Rudyard Kipling
  7. Poems by Topic: Pray for Suffering
  8. Poems by Topic: Reflections
  9. Poems by Topic: Somebody Please
  10. Poems by Topic: Upside-Down
  11. Poems by Topic: Who is My World?
  12. Scripture by Topic: List of Pages

7. RECOVERY ISSUES: Free Information

Addiction Recovery Issues & Topics

  • Garbage Rules will prod you to face your self-defeating thinking that’s keeping you addicted.
  • Ego will help you to understand and overcome the underlying problem in your addiction.

“Recovery is the process of recovering who you were as a child.” —Kevin Everett FitzMaurice

  1. 4 Main Spiritual Failures
  2. 5 Levels of Living Life: Assess Yours
  3. 12 Steps of Anger Reacting
  4. 12 Steps of Anxiety Reacting
  5. 12 Steps of Depression
  6. 12 Steps of Recovery: Rewritten & Simplified
  7. 12 Steps Stop Shit
  8. 12 Steps to Keep the Shit Going
  9. Alcoholics Anonymous (AA): The 12 Steps of
  10. Alcoholics Anonymous (AA): The 12 Traditions of
  11. Cause of Addictions
  12. Choose Higher when Tempted by Lower
  13. Do the Good More & Do the Bad Less
  14. Emotional Responsibility
  15. Emotionalize New Behaviors & Beliefs
  16. How to Quit in 5 Steps
  17. Quotations & Slogans from AA
  18. Reduce Problems & Stress
  19. Relapse Prevention: 3 Steps
  20. SAD: 3 Step Program of Recovery
  21. Secret of Life
  22. Serenity Prayer: Help with Acceptance
  23. Seven Pillars of Recovery
  24. Stimulation As Motivation
  25. Temptation: A Strategy to Overcome
  26. The Four Absolutes: Oxford Group External Link
  27. Use Negation, Not Destruction
  28. Yoga Practice Points

RELATED PAGES

  1. Quotations by Topic: Acceptance

8. RESPONSIBILITY ISSUES: Free Information

Responsibility Issues & Topics

“Responsibility is not limited to behavior. Responsibility must also be taken for thinking and feeling if one wishes to claim maturity.” —Kevin Everett FitzMaurice

  1. 3Rs: Recognize, Remove & Replace Problems
  2. About It, Is Not It
  3. Apologies Can Be Real
  4. Better Choose Better
  5. Blame 6 Levels
  6. Blame or Responsibility: 100 Things You Can Blame
  7. Challenging & Disputing Thinking Errors
  8. Choose Higher when Tempted by Lower
  9. Control What You Can
  10. Control What You Choose to Feed
  11. Drum Circle Experiment
  12. Emotional Maturity 6 Levels
  13. Emotional Responsibility (ER): Diagram
  14. Feed Feelings: 12 Ways
  15. Fights Diagram: Ego Causes & Maintains Hurt & Anger
  16. Four Seconds Is All You Need to Relax
  17. Golden Rule: The (Quotations)
  18. How Media & Politicians Lie: 8LS
  19. Meditation Simplified
  20. Motivation 6 Step Cycle from Attitude Is All You Need! Second Edition
  21. Non-Doing & Non-Action
  22. Parable on Responsibility
  23. REBT’s ABCs of Emotions
  24. Response of Responsibility
  25. Secret of Life
  26. Seek-or-Shun Response & 5TP
  27. Self-Control: Act Opposite of Feelings
  28. Shoelaces Parable: 4 Life Lessons
  29. S-R Thinking (Stimulus-Response)
  30. STPHFR Infographic
  31. STPHFR Model Explains Feelings & Behaviors
  32. Start Right to Finish Right
  33. Stimulus Responsibility: Before & After a Stimulus
  34. Suffer Well: Choice Helps
  35. Trying Is Planning to Fail
  36. Universal Declaration of Human Rights: External Link
  37. Will: The 7 Options for What to Will

RELATED PAGES

  1. Anger Issues: Act Against Anger
  2. CBT, CT & REBT Cognitive Psychotherapies: List of Pages
  3. Coping Skills: Control Others
  4. Coping Skills: Why Wait for Magic?
  5. Counseling Issues: 9 Feeling Superstitions
  6. Ego Issues: Becoming Is the Enemy
  7. Poems by Topic: “IF” by Rudyard Kipling
  8. Quotations by Topic: Responsibility

9. THINKING SKILLS: Free Information

Thinking Skills, Tools & Right Reasoning

“Two percent of the people think; three percent of the people think they think; and ninety-five percent of the people would rather die than think.” —George Bernard Shaw

Thinking Skills Can Help You To–

  • Learn how to think instead of what to think.
  • Discover how to think to help, not hinder yourself.
  • Discover how claims to know, do, or be are detrimental to your sanity.
  • Discover how deconstructivism can help free you from the tyranny of concepts for open experiencing.

Pages to Help You Think Better & Clearer

  1. 3Rs (Recognize, Remove, Replace): Memes
  2. 6 Styles of Thinking
  3. 7 Thinking Positions Based on 5TP
  4. 8 Thinking Skills for Detaching
  5. 9 Thinking Positions Based on 5TP
  6. 12 Levels of Existence from We’re All Insane!
  7. Atheism Is Superstitious
  8. Ballet & Thinking
  9. Beyond The Duality of Opposites
  10. Big versus Small Thinking
  11. Both-And Skill
  12. Choice Is a Delusion
  13. Circle Diagram of 5 Thinking Positions (5TP)
  14. Constructivism: Pros & Cons
  15. Continuum Knowledge
  16. Deconstructivism: The Answer
  17. Descartes’ Dualism & the 7 Realities
  18. Discovery Demands 5TP: The Evolution of Perspective
  19. Duality & Opposites
  20. Eastern Psychology
  21. Ego’s Know-Better Payoffs
  22. Ego: The Four Kinds
  23. Ego: The Tripartite Nature of
  24. Evolution Exploitation Exposed
  25. Five Survival Styles (5TP)
  26. Five Thinking Positions (5TP): Explained
  27. Five Thinking Styles (5TP)
  28. General Semantics & Contact
  29. Global Attitudes
  30. Hierarchy Natural
  31. How Media & Politicians Lie: 8LS
  32. How to Help the Poor
  33. How to Save or Change the World
  34. Human Rights: United Nations Declaration
  35. Know, Do, & Be Thinking
  36. Levels of Existence
  37. Life Is Positive, Neutral, Or Negative?
  38. Limitations of Thought
  39. Meditation: The Right Kind
  40. Messenger & Message Problem
  41. Mind Is a Magnet
  42. Nazi Thinking: Hive Mind
  43. Nine Causes of Everyday Madness or Neurosis
  44. One + One = Three
  45. Perfectionism Has its Perfect Place
  46. Perspective-Taking Book: Discovery Demands 5TP
  47. Pinhead Arguments Rarely Work
  48. Postmodern Foolishness
  49. Postmodernism & Constructivism Exposed
  50. Problem-Solving
  51. Quotations on Thinking
  52. REBT’s 10 Must Scripts
  53. Rational & Helpful Thoughts: 50
  54. Revolution: How to Succeed
  55. Science versus Scientism
  56. Second-Order Thinking
  57. Self: The Model of
  58. Semantics & Words
  59. Spiritual Development 12 Stages
  60. Spiritual Development: First 5 of the 15
  61. Spiritual Development: Second 5 of the 15
  62. Spiritual Development: Third 5 of the 15
  63. Spirituality: What Is it?
  64. STPHFR Model of Feelings
  65. Superstitions: 9 about Feelings
  66. Superstitions: 42 Modern Ones
  67. Test Your Thinking
  68. The Three Stooges & Failure
  69. Thinking Errors: Primary Error
  70. Thinking Errors: 4 Covering Methods
  71. Thinking Errors: 4 of Ukraine System
  72. Thinking Errors: 7 of Cognitive Therapy (CT)
  73. Thinking Errors: 9 Basic Ones
  74. Thinking Errors: REBT’s 11 Irrational Beliefs
  75. Thinking Errors: 12 Cognitive Biases (External link)
  76. Thinking Errors: Hundreds in Planet Earth: Insane Asylum
  77. Thinking Working on Thinking Fails
  78. Universality: The Way of Peace
  79. Use Negation, Not Destruction
  80. What Is Thinking Good For?
  81. What Is Yoga? What Is Instant Yoga?
  82. What, How & Why Questions
  83. Who Is My World?: Poem
  84. Word Sets for Using the 5 Thinking Positions (5TP)

RELATED PAGES

  1. 5 Thinking Positions (5TP): List of Pages
  2. CBT, CT & REBT Cognitive Psychotherapies: List of Pages
  3. Communication Skills: Passive to Aggressive
  4. Coping Skills: Think Better Feel Better
  5. Counseling Issues: 25 Relational Styles
  6. Critical Thinking Skills: External Link
  7. Ego Issues: Becoming Is the Enemy
  8. Free Philosophy Courses: External Link
  9. Quotations by Topic: Thinking
  10. Responsibility Issues: About It Is Not It
  11. Responsibility Issues: S-R Thinking
  12. Responsibility Issues: STPHFR
  13. Responsibility Issues: STPHFR Insights
  14. Self-Esteem Issues: Feud’s Ego Defense Mechanisms

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