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Four Main Failures of Parents & Bosses

10 Parenting Rules to Learn & Practice


The Boss or Parent Who Argues Loses

“And of merchants’ indifferent selling; of much correction of children; and to make the side of an evil servant to bleed.” —Ecclesiasticus 42:5

“In disputes between parents and children, the children always get the upper hand.” —Achad Ha’am


FIRST PROBLEM IN PARENTING

  • Parents argue with children.

The parent does not understand that arguing is losing power for parents and winning power for children.

FIRST SOLUTION

Parents explain what they want once. Parents do not continue discussing what they want. Parents give consequences if the child persists in wanting to discuss/argue what the parent wants.


SECOND PROBLEM IN PARENTING

  • Consequences are not Consequences.

SECOND SOLUTION

Listen and observe to see what the child desires most with their peers. That is what you can take for a consequence.


THIRD PROBLEM IN PARENTING

  • Parents are not Together (divided we fall).

THIRD SOLUTION

Discuss alone or with an advisor. Do not discipline until both are in agreement. It only makes matters worse for one to discipline one way and the other another way. This is true for many reasons including the obvious one that the child will then play one parent against the other.


FOURTH PROBLEM IN PARENTING

  • Parents are not Consistent.

FOURTH SOLUTION

Parents have consequences (loss of privileges) for giving in, for not enforcing agreed-upon rules and consequences with the children.


Related Pages


Book cover for Games Ego Plays


Quotations from Various Sources

Organized Alphabetically

“A leader leads by example, whether he intends to or not.” —Anonymous 

“A mother is not a person to lean on but a person to make leaning unnecessary.” —Dorothy Canfield Fisher 

“Allow children to be happy in their own way, for what better way will they find?” —Samuel Johnson 

“Among my most prized possessions are words that I have never spoken.” —Orson Card 

“And all thy children shall be taught of the LORD; and great shall be the peace of thy children.” —Isaiah 54:13 

“And, ye fathers, provoke not your children to wrath: but bring them up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord.” —Ephesians 6:4 

“But as he which hath called you is holy, so be ye holy in all manner of conversation;” —I Peter 1:15 

“Children begin by loving their parents; after a time they judge them; rarely, if ever, do they forgive them.” —Oscar Wilde, 1854-1900 

“Children have more need of models than critics.” —Joseph Joubert 

“Don’t limit a child to your own learning, for he was born in another time.” —Rabbinic saying 

“Don’t speak unless you can improve on the silence.” —Spanish proverb 

“Draw me not away with the wicked, and with the workers of iniquity, which speak peace to their neighbours, but mischief is in their hearts.” —Psalms 28:3 

“Fathers, provoke not your children to anger, lest they be discouraged.” —Colossians 3:21 

“Foolishness always results when the tongue outraces the brain.” —Unknown 

“For men shall be lovers of their own selves, covetous, boasters, proud, blasphemers, disobedient to parents, unthankful, unholy,” —II Timothy 3:2 

“For the Lord hath given the father honour over the children, and hath confirmed the authority of the mother over the sons.” —Ecclesiasticus 3:2 

“Home ought to be our clearinghouse, the place from which we go forth lessoned and disciplined, and ready for life.” —Kathleen Norris 

“If it’s your job to relieve your child’s frustration, then it’s your child’s job to annoy you.” —Kevin Everett FitzMaurice 

“If you want children to keep their feet on the ground, put some responsibility on their shoulders.” —Abigail Van Buren 

“If you want to work for world peace, go home and love your families.” —Mother Teresa 

“In disputes between parents and children, the children always get the upper hand.” —Achad Ha’am 

“Paradoxically, even though parenting is the hardest and most important job there is, parenting is also the job with the least education, requirements, and training.” —Kevin Everett FitzMaurice 

“Parenting is the only job you are guaranteed to fail at.” —Kevin Everett FitzMaurice 

“Pleasant words are as an honeycomb, sweet to the soul, and health to the bones.” —Proverbs 16:24 

“Some man holdeth his tongue, because he hath not to answer: and some keepeth silence, knowing his time.” —Ecclesiasticus 20:6 

“Something you consider bad may bring out your child’s talents; something you consider good may stifle them.” —Chateaubriand 

“Teach your children to put God first and to soothe themselves and you are a successful parent.” —Kevin Everett FitzMaurice 

“The best leader is the one who has sense enough to pick good men to do what he wants done, and self-restraint enough to keep from meddling with them while they do it.” —Theodore Roosevelt 

“The first duty of love is to listen.” —Paul Tillich, 1886-1965 

“The most precious things in speech are pauses.” —Ralph Richardson 

“Treat a man as he is, and he will remain as he is. Treat a man as he could be, and he will become what he should be.” —Ralph Waldo Emerson 

“We proclaimed you sound when you were foolish in order to avoid taking part in the long, slow, slogging effort that is the only route to genuine maturity of mind and feeling. Thus, it was no small anomaly of your growing up that while you were the most indulged generation, you were also in many ways the most abandoned to your own meager devices by those into whose safe-keeping you had been given.” —Midge Decter

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