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Consequences of Blaming & Damning

Blaming Is Not Coping


How to Make Things Worse, Not Better

The Secret of Maturity, Third Edition for 99¢ will teach you how to own the power of emotional responsibility.

“He therefore that despiseth, despiseth not man, but God, who hath also given unto us His holy Spirit.”–I Thessalonians 4:8

“We can actually put the essence of neurosis in a single word: blaming–or damning.”–Albert Ellis and Robert A. Harper, A Guide to Rational Living, Third Edition, p. 127


BLAMING & DAMNING

BLAMING and DAMNING SELF: anger, avoiding life, born-to-lose message, demotivation, denial, depression, discouragement, ego pain, escaping from life, failure script, get worse not better, hurt, masochism, mood controlled by degree of self-damning, pride in self-damning, projecting onto others, self-fulfilling prophecy for failure, suppression, transferring damning onto others.

“For if our heart condemn us, God is greater than our heart, and knoweth all things.”–I John 3:20


BLAMING & DAMNING OTHERS

arguments, bad feelings, loss of friends, loss of relationships, loss of support, mind games, mood controlled by mood of others, poor relationships, poor support system, pride in damning others, resentments, revenge, sadism, strained relationships, stressful relationships, vendettas, voodoo emotions.


BLAMING & DAMNING “IT”

chronic complaining, depowerment, external enemy, external focus, external referented, immaturity, irresponsibility, mood controlled by quality of things, superstition.


BLAMING & DAMNING LIFE

fewer options, helplessness, hopelessness, lack of resourcefulness, mood controlled by circumstances, negative, pessimistic, poor problem solving, reactive instead of proactive, victimhood, whining as cure.


BLAMING & DAMNING GOD

arrogance, atheism, defiance, hedonism, ignorance, increased ego, increased pride, lack of acceptance, lack of faith, lack of trust, loss of spiritual awareness, mood controlled by luck, poor relationship with God, poor spiritual health, poor spirituality, rebelliousness, stupidity, superficiality.


BLAMING & DAMNING THOUGHT:

  • (1) recognizing the problem.
  • (2) Removing the problem.
  • (3) Replacing the problem.
  • (4) Mood controlled by controlling thinking.

Book cover for Garden


QUOTATIONS VARIOUS SOURCES

Organized Alphabetically

“And just as two wrongs don’t make a right, rage against offenders is probably the worst way to try to correct them.”–Albert Ellis and Robert A. Harper, A Guide to Rational Living, Third Edition, p. 130

“Being right does not give you the right to damn.”–Kevin Everett FitzMaurice

“Condemn the sin, not the sinner.”–Christian saying

“Damning is the worst form of demanding.”–Kevin Everett FitzMaurice

“Damning is turning the living into things, into the dead.”–Kevin Everett FitzMaurice

“Damning is when the cure is worse than the illness.”–Kevin Everett FitzMaurice

“Damning is when the medicine is worse than the poison.”–Kevin Everett FitzMaurice

“Despise the crime, not the criminal.”–Japanese saying

“Do not weep; do not wax indignant. Understand.”–Baruch Spinoza

“Even when people act nastily to you, don’t condemn them or retaliate.”–Albert Ellis and Robert A. Harper, A Guide to Rational Living, Third Edition, p. 205

“Fear less, hope more; eat less, chew more; whine less, breathe more; talk less, say more; hate less, love more; and all good things are yours.”–Swedish proverb

“Feeling bad won’t make you good.”–Kevin Everett FitzMaurice

“Feeling stupid won’t make you smart.”–Kevin Everett FitzMaurice

“Give not over thy mind to heaviness, and afflict not thyself in thine own counsel.”–Ecclesiasticus 30:21

“He that is void of wisdom despiseth his neighbour: but a man of understanding holdeth his peace.”–Proverbs 11:12

“He therefore that despiseth, despiseth not man, but God, who hath also given unto us His holy Spirit.”–I Thessalonians 4:8

“I will permit no man to narrow and degrade my soul by making me hate him.”–Booker Taliaferro Washington, 1856-1915

“If you would stop, really stop, damning yourself, others, and unkind conditions, you would find it almost impossible to upset yourself emotionally–about anything. Yes, anything.”–Albert Ellis and Robert A. Harper, A Guide to Rational Living, Third Edition, p. 127

“It is the part of an uneducated person to blame others where he himself fares ill; to blame himself is the part of one whose education has begun; to blame neither another nor his own self is the part of one whose education is already complete.”–Epictetus, Enchiridion

“Let us not burden our remembrances with a heaviness that is gone.”–William Shakespeare

“Only God can damn without serving Satan.”–Kevin Everett FitzMaurice

“Take your life in your own hands, and what happens? A terrible thing: no one to blame.”–Erica Jong

“Teaching the principle of emotional responsibility can be one of the hardest tasks in REBT as clients may have habitually blamed others for their problems and now the therapist is pointing to the true source of their emotional problems–themselves.”–Michael Neenan and Windy Dryden, Rational Emotive Behavior Therapy: Advances in Theory and Practice, p. 43

“The farther behind I leave the past, the closer I am to forging my own character.”–Isabelle Eberhardt

“The moment you blame anyone for anything, your relationship and your personal power deteriorate.”–Brian Koslow

“The whiner equates pain with power.”–Kevin Everett FitzMaurice

“To condemn is stupid and easy, but to understand is arduous, requiring pliability and intelligence.”–J. Krishnamurti, The Collected Works of J. Krishnamurti, Volume IV, p. 143

“We can actually put the essence of neurosis in a single word: blaming–or damning.”–Albert Ellis and Robert A. Harper, A Guide to Rational Living, Third Edition, p. 127

“When a man points a finger at someone else, he should remember that four of his fingers are pointing at himself.”–Louis Nizer

“When you blame others, you give up your power to change.”–Anonymous

“When you point a finger at another, you are also pointing three fingers at yourself.”–Anonymous (often quoted in AA in various forms)

“You are what you hate not what you ate.”–Kevin Everett FitzMaurice

“You can overcome anything if you don’t bellyache.”–Bernard Baruch

“You can overcome anything if you don’t bellyache.”–Bernard M. Baruch

“You cannot solve a problem by condemning it.”–Wayne Dwyer

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