logo Kevin's website key image

Quotations: Blame & Complain

6 Levels of Emotional Maturity

Blaming, Complaining, Hating, Damning, & Judging

  • Ego will help you to recognize, remove, and replace your ego: a.k.a. self-esteem.

“Blaming, damning, and whining will not save the world.” —Kevin Everett FitzMaurice

“It is the peculiar quality of a fool to perceive the faults of others and to forget his own.” —Cicero

“Likewise, someone who criticizes is criticizing himself, saying implicitly, ‘I can’t see very well with my eyes so inflamed.’” —Rumi

Blaming & Complaining Are Forms of No-ting

  • No-ting is the number one cause of failure and mistakes.
  • No-ting is also the easiest way to feed ego through your self-talk.
  • Read Don’t Read This! to understand no-ting and its impact on your life.

What to Complain About from the Writings of Seneca

Complain About Nothing But Yourself

Quotations from Various Sources

Organized Alphabetically

“A good leader takes a little more than his share of the blame, a little less than his share of the credit.” —Arnold H. Glasgow

“A man ought to be seen by the gods neither dissatisfied with anything nor complaining.” —Marcus Aurelius

“A man can get discouraged many times but he is not a failure until he begins to blame somebody else and stops trying.” —John Burroughs

“A man may fall many times but he won’t be a failure until he says someone pushed him.” —Elmer G. Letterman

“A man should never be ashamed to own he has been in the wrong, which is but saying, in other words, that he is wiser today than he was yesterday.” —Alexander Pope

“A true critic ought to dwell rather upon excellencies than imperfections.” —Joseph Addison

“All blame is a waste of time. No matter how much fault you find with another, and regardless of how much you blame him, it will not change you.” —Wayne Dyer

“An uninstructed person will lay the fault of his own bad condition upon others. Someone just starting instruction will lay the fault on himself. Someone who is perfectly instructed will place blame neither on others nor on himself.” —Epictetus

“And be silent for the most part, or else make only the most necessary remarks, and express these in few words. But rarely, and when occasion requires you to talk, talk, indeed, but about no ordinary topics. Do not talk about gladiators, or horseraces, or athletes, or things to eat or drink–topics that arise on all occasions; but above all, do not talk about people, either blaming, or praising, or comparing them.” —Epictetus, Enchiridion

“And just as two wrongs don’t make a right, rage against offenders is probably the worst way to try to correct them.” —Albert Ellis and Robert A. Harper, A Guide to Rational Living, Third Edition, p. 130

“Any fool can criticize, condemn, and complain and most fools do.” —Benjamin Franklin

“Are you choosing to do it? Then choose to enjoy it and stop whining about it.” —Kevin Everett FitzMaurice

“As for the pleasure in hubris, its cause is this: naive men think that by ill-treating others they make their own superiority the greater.” —Aristotle, Rhetoric

“As long as the mind is in conflict–blaming, resisting, condemning–there can be no understanding. If I want to understand you, I must not condemn you, obviously.” —J. Krishnamurti, The Collected Works of J. Krishnamurti, Volume V, p. 51

“Be slow to anger, slow to blame, And slow to plead thy cause. But swift to speak of any gain That gives thy friend applause.” —Mary Whitcher, Shaker member

“Before we blame we should first see whether we cannot excuse.” —George C. Lichtenberg

“Being right does not give you the right to damn.” —Kevin Everett FitzMaurice

“Blame is a lazy man’s wages.” —Danish Proverb

“Blaming, damning, and whining will not save the world.” —Kevin Everett FitzMaurice

“But do not of your own accord make your troubles heavier to bear and burden yourself with complaining.” —Seneca

“But I say unto you, That ye resist not evil: but whosoever shall smite thee on thy right cheek, turn to him the other also.” —Matthew 5:39

“Celebrate life in spite of injustice and suffering.” —Kevin Everett FitzMaurice

“Celebrate survival despite abuse, hardship, and oppression.” —Kevin Everett FitzMaurice

“Choose not to be harmed—and you won’t feel harmed. Don’t feel harmed—and you haven’t been.” —Marcus Aurelius

“Compassion is the basis of morality.” —Arthur Schopenhauer

“Damning is the worst form of demanding.” —Kevin Everett FitzMaurice

“Damning is turning the living into things, into the dead.” —Kevin Everett FitzMaurice

“Damning is when the cure is worse than the illness.” —Kevin Everett FitzMaurice

“Damning is when the medicine is worse than the poison.” —Kevin Everett FitzMaurice

“Damning people for their crimes is the bigger crime.” —Kevin Everett FitzMaurice

“Despise the crime, not the criminal.” —Japanese saying

“Do not look at the faults of others, or what others have done or not done; observe what you yourself have and have not done.” —Dhammapada, 4:4

“Do not weep; do not wax indignant. Understand.” —Baruch Spinoza

“Don’t be a blame thrower.” —Greg Hickman

“Don’t be distracted by criticism. Remember, the only taste of success some people have is when they take a bite out of you.” —Zig Ziglar

“Don’t explain your philosophy. Embody it.” —Epictetus

“Don’t find fault, find a remedy.” —Henry Ford

“Don’t let your mind be occupied by blame toward others. A liberated mind is a forgiving mind.” —Jerry Corstens

“Don’t make excuses, make good.” —Elbert Hubbard

“Don’t see others’ faults; see your own. For if you dwell on others’ faults, your own get stronger.” —Dhammapada: Flaws, verses 252-253

“Eat thou not the bread of him that hath an evil eye, neither desire thou his dainty meats: for as he thinketh in his heart, so is he: Eat and drink, saith he to thee; but his heart is not with thee.” —Proverbs 23:6-7

“Even when people act nastily to you, don’t condemn them or retaliate.” —Albert Ellis and Robert A. Harper, A Guide to Rational Living, Third Edition, p. 205

“Everything that irritates us about others can lead us to an understanding of ourselves.” —Carl Jung

“Fear less, hope more; eat less, chew more; whine less, breathe more; talk less, say more; hate less, love more; and all good things are yours.” —Swedish proverb

“Feeling bad won’t make you good.” —Kevin Everett FitzMaurice

“Feeling stupid won’t make you smart.” —Kevin Everett FitzMaurice

“First improve yourself and then judge others.” —Jewish proverb

“Fix the problem, not the blame.” —Catherine Pulsifer

“Frame your mind to mirth and merriment, which bars a thousand harms and lengthens life.” —Shakespeare, The Taming of the Shrew

“Friends will share our joys, but every man is a solitary in his griefs.” —Norman Douglas, South Wind

“Further, you will find fault with no one or accuse no one.” —Epictetus

“Give not over thy mind to heaviness, and afflict not thyself in thine own counsel.” —Ecclesiasticus 30:21

“Great minds discuss ideas; average minds discuss events; small minds discuss people.” —Eleanor Roosevelt

“Great minds have purpose, others have wishes. Little minds are tamed and subdued by misfortunes; but great minds rise above them.” —Washington Irving

“Hate is like acid. It can damage the vessel in which it is stored as well as destroy the object on which it is poured.” —Ann Landers

“Hatreds do not ever cease in this world by hating, but by love; this is an eternal truth.” —Dhammapada, 1:5

“He has a right to criticize, who has a heart to help.” —Abraham Lincoln

“He that can’t endure the bad will not live to see the good.” —Jewish proverb

“He that is void of wisdom despiseth his neighbour: but a man of understanding holdeth his peace.” —Proverbs 11:12

“He therefore that despiseth, despiseth not man, but God, who hath also given unto us His holy Spirit.” —I Thessalonians 4:8

“How can you be happy without something to complain about?” —Kevin Everett FitzMaurice

“I attribute my success to this: I never gave or took any excuse.” —Florence Nightingale

“I believe we’re responsible for everything that happens to us.” —Yanni

“I have yet to find the man, however exalted his station, who did not do better work and put forth greater effort under a spirit of approval than under a spirit of criticism.” —Charles M. Schwab

“I imagine one of the reasons people cling to their hates so stubbornly is because they sense, once hate is gone, they will be forced to deal with pain.” —James A. Baldwin

“I pay no attention whatever to anybody’s praise or blame. I simply follow my own feelings.” ―Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart

“I praise loudly; I blame softly.” —Catherine II of Russia

“I will permit no man to narrow and degrade my soul by making me hate him.” —Booker Taliaferro Washington, 1856-1915

“I will stop whining about the Adversities and stop demanding that they absolutely should not and must not exist.” —Albert Ellis

“If I condemn something, I do not understand it.” —J. Krishnamurti, The Collected Works of J. Krishnamurti, Volume V, p. 335

“If then these happen to each thing both what is usual and natural, why shouldest thou complain? For the common nature brings nothing which may not be borne by thee.” —Marcus Aurelius

“If you buy a ticket to hell, it isn’t fair to blame hell.” —Elon Musk

“If you could kick the person in the pants responsible for most of your trouble, you wouldn’t sit for a month.” —Anonymous

“If you have time to whine and complain about something then you have the time to do something about it.” —Anthony J. D’Angelo

“If you judge people, you have no time to love them.” —Mother Teresa

“If you lie down with dogs, you may end up with fleas.” —Benjamin Franklin

“If you really want to do something, you’ll find a way. If you don’t, you’ll find an excuse.” —Jim Rohn

“If you see a problem, that means it is your job to fix it.” —Communal saying

“If you would stop, really stop, damning yourself, others, and unkind conditions, you would find it almost impossible to upset yourself emotionally—about anything. Yes, anything.” —Albert Ellis and Robert A. Harper, A Guide to Rational Living, Third Edition, p. 127

“Imagine that all of your comments about others will come before God because they will in the end.” —Kevin Everett FitzMaurice

“In short, luck’s always to blame.” —Jean De La Fontaine

“Intelligence is the ability to adapt to change.” —Stephen Hawking

“It is a spiritual law that you are the problem that you seek to fix.” —Kevin Everett FitzMaurice

“It is easy to fool yourself but hard to fool others.” —Kevin Everett FitzMaurice

“It is impossible to suffer without making someone pay for it; every complaint already contains revenge.” —Friedrich Nietzsche

“It is inconceivable that we could be bored in a world with so much wrong to tackle, so much ignorance to reach and so much misery we could alleviate.” —William Wilberforce

“It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood; who strives valiantly; who errs, who comes short again and again, because there is no effort without error and shortcoming; but who does actually strive to do the deeds; who knows great enthusiasms, the great devotions; who spends himself in a worthy cause; who at the best knows in the end the triumph of high achievement, and who at the worst, if he fails, at least fails while daring greatly, so that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who neither know victory nor defeat.” —Theodore Roosevelt

“It is only cats that ‘meow’ and wail, lions roar.” —Chaim Nachman Bialik

“It is the part of an uneducated person to blame others where he himself fares ill; to blame himself is the part of one whose education has begun; to blame neither another nor his own self is the part of one whose education is already complete.” —Epictetus, Enchiridion

“It is the peculiar quality of a fool to perceive the faults of others and to forget his own.” —Cicero

“It is the power of the mind to be unconquerable.” —Seneca

“It is wise to direct your anger towards problems—not people; to focus your energies on answers—not excuses.” —William Arthur Ward

“Let me do my best to change the unfortunate condition or accept it and live with it if I truly find that I can’t change it. Whining about how awful it is will only make it seem worse than bad and make me feel more miserable!” —Albert Ellis

“Let us not burden our remembrances with a heaviness that is gone.” —William Shakespeare

“Likewise, someone who criticizes is criticizing himself, saying implicitly, ‘I can’t see very well with my eyes so inflamed.’” —Rumi

“Love and compassion are not necessities, not luxuries. Without them, humanity cannot survive.” —Dalai Lama XIV

“Make every effort not to indulge in negative thoughts, cruel words, and bad deeds.” —Dhammapada: The Right Way, verse 281

“Neurosis is just a high-class word for whining.” —Albert Ellis

“Never wrestle with pigs. You both get dirty and the pig likes it.” —George Bernard Shaw

“Never succumb to the temptation of becoming bitter. As you press for justice, be sure to move with dignity and discipline, using only the instruments of love.” —Martin Luther King, Jr.

“Never trust the man who tells you all his troubles but keeps from you his joys.” —Jewish proverb

“No great man ever complains of want of opportunity.” —Ralph Waldo Emerson

“No man ever got very high by pulling other people down. The intelligent merchant does not knock his competitors. The sensible worker does not work those who work with him. Don’t knock your friends. Don’t knock your enemies. Don’t knock yourself.” —Alfred Lord Tennyson, 1809–1892, English poet

“No one is a failure until they blame somebody else.” —Charles (Tremendous) Jones

“None knows the weight of another’s burden.” —Thomas Fuller

“Once one tells oneself for a long enough period of time that one need not upset oneself about annoyances or dangers, one will then find it difficult to get over-excited about them and will find it easy to remain calm when they occur.” —Albert Ellis

“Once you damn an individual, including yourself, for having or lacking any trait whatever, you become authoritarian or fascistic; for fascism is the very essence of people-evaluation.” —Albert Ellis

“One resolution I have made, and try always to keep, is this: To rise above the little things.” —John Burroughs

“Only God can damn without serving Satan.” —Kevin Everett FitzMaurice

“Only I can change my life. No one can do it for me.” —Carol Burnett

“Other people’s views and troubles can be contagious. Don’t sabotage yourself by unwittingly adopting negative, unproductive attitudes through your associations with others.” —Epictetus

“Our fatigue is often caused not by work, but worry, frustration and resentment.” —Dale Carnegie

“Our normal tendency is to feel dissatisfied and to criticize our body, speech, and mind–my body is out of shape; voice is unpleasant; my mind is confused. We are so caught up in this pointless, neurotic habit of criticism that we disparage others as well as ourselves. This is extremely damaging.” —Thubten Yeshe

“Overcome anger by love, overcome evil by good. Overcome the miser by giving, overcome the liar by truth.” —Dhammapada, 17:3

“People are always blaming their circumstances for what they are. I don’t believe in circumstances. The people who get on in this world are the people who get up and look for the circumstances they want, and, if they can’t find them, make them.” —George Bernard Shaw

“People will choose to live in your bad past; however, you can choose to live in your good present without them.” —Kevin Everett FitzMaurice

“Problems only exist in the human mind.” —Anthony de Mello

“Problems are meant to be solved, but unfortunately, a lot of people choose to complain, worry, and cry about them.” ― Edmond Mbiaka

“Resentment and complaint are appropriate neither for oneself nor others.” —Miyamoto Musashi

“Returning hate for hate multiplies hate, adding deeper darkness to a night already devoid of stars. Darkness cannot drive out darkness; only light can do that. Hate cannot drive out hate, only love can do that.” —Martin Luther King, Jr.

“Some days you have to create your own sunshine.” —Sam Sundquist

“Some people grumble because roses have thorns; I am thankful that the thorns have roses.” —Alphonse Karr

“Someone who points out your flaws to you is not necessarily your enemy. Someone who speaks of your virtues is not necessarily your friend.” —Zen Buddhist saying

“Spite of all do you still chafe and complain, not understanding that, in all the evils to which you suffer, there is really only one–the fact that you do chafe and complain?” —Seneca

“Strong people don’t put others down to lift themselves up.” —Michael P. Watson

“Take away thy opinion, and then there is taken away the complaint.” —Marcus Aurelius

“Take your life in your own hands, and what happens? A terrible thing: no one to blame.” —Erica Jong

“Teaching the principle of emotional responsibility can be one of the hardest tasks in REBT as clients may have habitually blamed others for their problems and now the therapist is pointing to the true source of their emotional problems–themselves.” —Michael Neenan and Windy Dryden, Rational Emotive Behavior Therapy: Advances in Theory and Practice, p. 43

“Tell me one thing about the past. I’ll prove it’s not what upset you. It’s how you philosophized about it that made you disturbed.” —Albert Ellis

“The cause of the pleasure felt by those who insult is the idea that, in ill-treating others, they are more fully showing superiority. That is why the young and the wealthy are given to insults; for they think that, in committing them, they are showing their superiority.” —Aristotle, Rhetoric

“The fool hates helpful criticism, the learned person tolerates it, the wise person accepts it, but only the sage seeks it.” —Kevin Everett FitzMaurice

“The pessimist complains about the wind; the optimist expects it to change; the realist adjusts the sails.” —William Arthur Ward

“There’s no use talking about the problem unless you talk about the solution.” —Betty Williams

“The base person sees in others, whatever the excellences, only the defects and faults. A swine notices only the mud and mire in the pond that bears the lotus.” —Kavitamrtakupa

“The best years of your life are the ones in which you decide your problems are your own. You do not blame them on your mother, the ecology, or the president. You realize that you control your own destiny.” —Albert Ellis

“The farther behind I leave the past, the closer I am to forging my own character.” —Isabelle Eberhardt

“The moment you blame anyone for anything, your relationship and your personal power deteriorate.” —Brian Koslow

“The most beautiful people we have known are those who have known defeat, known suffering, known struggle, known loss, and have found their way out of the depths. These persons have an appreciation, sensitivity, and an understanding of life that fills them with compassion, gentleness, and a deep loving concern. Beautiful people do not just happen.” —Elisabeth Kübler-Ross

“The noble-minded are calm and steady. Little people are forever fussing and fretting.” —Confucius

“The person who dumps garbage into your mind will do you considerably more harm than the person who dumps garbage on your floor, because each load of mind garbage negatively impacts your possibilities and lowers your expectations.” —Zig Ziglar

“The search for someone to blame is always successful.” —Robert Half

“The superior man blames himself. The inferior man blames others.” —Don Shula

“The whiner equates pain with power.” —Kevin Everett FitzMaurice

“There can be no doubt that the average man blames much more than he praises. His instinct is to blame. If he is satisfied he says nothing; if he is not, he most illogically kicks up a row.” —Arnold Bennett

“There is an expiry date on blaming your parents for steering you in the wrong direction; the moment you are old enough to take the wheel, responsibility lies with you.” —J.K. Rowling

“There is more pride than kindness in our reprimands to people who are fault; and we reprove them not so much to correct them as to convince them that we ourselves are free from such wrongdoing.” —Francois de La Rochefoucauld

“There is no magic, no free lunch. Self-change, while almost always possible, requires persistent work and practice.” —Albert Ellis

“There is only one human species, to damn any member of that species is to damn the entire species.” —Kevin Everett FitzMaurice

“There is only one way to avoid criticism: do nothing, say nothing, and be nothing.” —Aristotle

“There’s man all over for you, blaming on his boots the fault of his feet.” —Samuel Becket

“Things that are done, it is needless to speak about –things that are past, it is needless to blame.” —Confucius

“Thou must blame nobody.” —Marcus Aurelius

“Three core irrationalities: A philosophy of self-denigration, an intolerance of frustration, a blaming and condemning of others.” —Walen, S., R., DiGiuseppe, R., and Dryden, W. (1992), A Practitioner’s Guide to Rational-Emotive Therapy (2nd edition), p.128

“To a certain degree she found happiness in tears. If no sadness had existed she would have invented some.” —M. Constantin-Weyer, A Man Scans His Past

“To be wronged is nothing unless you continue to remember it.” —Confucius

“To condemn anyone is to condemn not only everyone but their maker too.” —Kevin Everett FitzMaurice

“To damn anyone requires that you first damn your self.” —Kevin Everett FitzMaurice

“To find a fault is easy; to do better may be difficult.” —Plutarch

“To think positively about a negative situation is foolish. To think negatively and irrationally about that situation is unhealthy. To think negatively and rationally about the same situation is wise and healthy.” —Windy Dryden

“We all have strength enough to bear the misfortunes of others.” —La Rochefoucauld

“We are not creatures of circumstance; we are creators of circumstance.” —Benjamin Disraeli

“We can actually put the essence of neurosis in a single word: blaming–or damning.” —Albert Ellis and Robert A. Harper, A Guide to Rational Living, Third Edition, p. 127

“We can complain of nothing but ourselves.” —Seneca

“We can throw stones, complain about them, stumble on them, climb over them, or build with them.” —William Arthur Ward

“We generally change ourselves for one of two reasons: inspiration or desperation.” —Jim Rohn

“What the caterpillar calls the end of the world, the master calls a butterfly.” —Richard Bach

“What worries you masters you.” —Haddon W. Robinson

“Whatever it is, it is.” —Anonymous

“When you complain, you make yourself a victim. Leave the situation, change the situation, or accept it. All else is madness.” —Eckhart Tolle

“When a man points a finger at someone else, he should remember that four of his fingers are pointing at himself.” —Louis Nizer

“When people disturb themselves, they view ‘bad’ things as ‘awful’ or ‘terrible’ and think that they absolutely must not occur.” —Albert Ellis

“When the debate is lost, slander becomes the tool of the losers.” —Unknown

“When therefore we are hindered or disturbed, or grieved, let us never attribute it to others, but to ourselves, that is to our own principles.” —Epictetus

“When we blame, we give away our power.” —Greg Anderson

“When you blame others, you give up your power to change.” —Dr. Robert Anthony

“When you judge others, you do not define them; you define yourself.” —Earl Nightingale (sometimes attributed to Wayne Dyer)

“When you check your own mind properly, you stop blaming others for your problems.” —Lama Thubten Yeshe

“Whining, blaming, and damning are not problem-solving.” —Kevin Everett FitzMaurice

“Whining, blaming, and damning are throwing dust into the wind only for it to return to hurt your eyes.” —Kevin Everett FitzMaurice

“You are not going to stop human nature from suppressing or damning; however, you can with help resist and restrain it so that you could follow God instead of flesh.” —Kevin Everett FitzMaurice

“You are what you hate not what you ate.” —Kevin Everett FitzMaurice

“You can only be a ‘victim’ of yourself. It’s all how you discipline your mind.” —Epictetus

“You can overcome anything if you don’t bellyache.” —Bernard M. Baruch

“You can whine and blame about the water coming into your sailboat, or you can bail out the water and safely sail to shore.” —Kevin Everett FitzMaurice

“You cannot solve a problem by condemning it.” —Wayne Dwyer

“You take your life in your own hands, and what happens? A terrible thing, no one to blame.” —Erica Jong

“You will become a teacher of yourself when for the same things that you blame others, you also blame yourself.” —Diogenes of Sinope, fragment

“You’re either part of the solution or you’re part of the problem.” —Eldridge Cleaver

“You’d better strongly think, believe, and yes, feel that you can control your own emotional destiny. Not others’ thoughts and actions. No, not the fate of the world. But your thoughts, feelings, and actions.” —Albert Ellis

“Your parents, friends, and culture often encouraged you to damn yourself, others, and the world. In spite of your biology, your family, and your culture, you don’t need to stupidly disturb yourself.” —Albert Ellis

Related Page