4 Insane Beliefs of Self-Esteem a.k.a. Ego
- Ego will help you to recognize, remove, and replace your ego: a.k.a. self-esteem.
Self-esteem is when you identify with the behaviors of the body or mind.
Demanding Look Good Variation of 4 Insane Beliefs
- I must look good. (the motivation for the rest)
- You must help me look good.
- Life must help me look good.
- My abilities must help me look good.
Demanding Do Well Variation of 4 Insane Beliefs
- I must do well (the motivation for the rest).
- You must help me to do well.
- Life must help me to do well.
- My abilities must help me to do well.
REBT’s 3 IBs
- For those familiar with REBT, note the strong similarity of the first three above to the latest version of the three main irrational beliefs (iBs) of Rational Emotive Behavior Therapy (REBT).
- I must do well.
- You must treat me well.
- The world must be easy.
- For more information: REBT’s 3 Main Musts
Script Form Variation of 4 Insane Beliefs
1. Conditional Self-Esteem (CSE):
If I do look good or do well, then I will be superior and will have ego pleasure.
If I do not look good or do well, then I will be inferior and have ego pain.
2. Conditional Other-Esteem (COE):
If others help me to look good or to do well, then they are good.
If others do not help me to look good or to do well, then they must be blamed and damned for my failure in place of me.
3. Conditional Life-Esteem (CLE):
If life helps me to look good or to perform well, then life is good.
If life does not help me to look good or to perform well, then life must be blamed and damned for my failure in place of me.
4. Conditional Ability-Esteem (CAE):
If my abilities help me to look good or to perform well, then I will like that activity or experience.
If my abilities do not help me to look good or to perform well, then I cannot stand that awful activity and I must blame and damn that activity and/or my abilities for my failure.
4 Variations of Inferior
- The four main variations of inferior are: stupid, worthless, defective, and not part of the group or an outcast.
5 Troubling Emotions
- The four self-esteem script issues can be related to the five main emotions that people seek counseling for help dealing with: ADSAP or anxiety (fear), despair (depression), shame (guilt), anger (hate), pride (arrogance).
- Script #1 leads directly to anxiety, but an ever-present anxiety that may be suppressed for pride.
- Scripts #2 and #3 lead directly to anger at either others or life.
- Script #4 leads to both guilt and depression for the failure, and also to anxiety about re-experiencing the activity.
- Compare to: Damning Self & 6 Main Emotions.
Quotations from Various Sources
“A time will soon come when the tragic actors will think that their masks and buskins and the long robes are themselves.” —Epictetus, Discourses
“For identification and comparison maintain the conflict of duality, and there is no solution within its pattern.” —J. Krishnamurti, The Collected Works of J. Krishnamurti, Volume IV, p. 35
“Self-esteem steals souls.” —Kevin Everett FitzMaurice
“Titles are like a magicians wand which circumscribe human facility and prevent us from living the lives of man.” —Thomas Paine