Using the 5 Thinking Positions to Develop Relational Styles
- Attitude Is All You Need! Second Edition will help you to improve your attitude, which improves everything else.
- Discovery Demands 5TP: The Evolution of Perspective
Interpersonal Relations Styles: Using 2 Intersecting Measures
- The table above shows the 25 styles of relating that occur when you cross the measure of passive to aggressive with the measure of empathic to narcissistic.
Notes on the 25 Relational Styles
- Notice how the opposites attract each other in relationships in order to complement and complete each other. For example, the narcissistic-aggressive will seek out an empathic-passive.
- Furthermore, even if you are not the opposite type, you can feel hooked to respond from that place by someone who relates to you strongly from their own opposite style.
- Additionally, in long-term relationships, such as in marriages, styles tend to become extreme even if they did not start out that way.
- As an actual case in point, two equal partners in a relationship ended up with one as the dominant partner even to the point of that dominate partner silencing the other: “He never says anything at home,” this despite the fact that he is a prominent attorney and both outspoken and aggressive when away from the home or his wife.
Look Inside to Understand Why You Treat Others the Way that You Do
- Note how both measures are based on The 5 Thinking Positions
- Compare to the table Passive to Aggressive Using 5TP
- More on 5TP: Pages by Topic: 5 Thinking Positions
Quotations from Various Sources
“A wise man thinks all that he says. A fool says all that he thinks.” —Church bulletin board
“Among my most prized possessions are words that I have never spoken.” —Orson Card
“Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don’t matter and those who matter don’t mind.” —Dr. Seuss
“Blessed is the man who, having nothing to say, abstains from giving us worthy evidence of the fact.” —George Eliot
“But as he which hath called you is holy, so be ye holy in all manner of conversation;” —I Peter 1:15
“Don’t speak unless you can improve on the silence.” —Spanish proverb
“Draw me not away with the wicked, and with the workers of iniquity, which speak peace to their neighbours, but mischief is in their hearts.” —Psalms 28:3
“Education is the ability to listen to almost anything without losing your temper or your self-confidence.” —Robert Frost
“Foolishness always results when the tongue outraces the brain.” —Unknown
“It is better to keep one’s mouth shut and be thought a fool than to open it and resolve all doubt.” —Abraham Lincoln
“Most conversations are simply monologues delivered in the presence of a witness.” —Margaret Millar
“Pleasant words are as an honeycomb, sweet to the soul, and health to the bones.” —Proverbs 16:24
“Silence is one of the hardest arguments to refute.” —Josh Billings
“Some man holdeth his tongue, because he hath not to answer: and some keepeth silence, knowing his time.” —Ecclesiasticus 20:6
“The first duty of love is to listen.” —Paul Tillich, 1886-1965
“The most precious things in speech are pauses.” —Ralph Richardson
“There are very few people who don’t become more interesting when they stop talking.” —Mary Lowry
“Treat a man as he is, and he will remain as he is. Treat a man as he could be, and he will become what he should be.” —Ralph Waldo Emerson
“Two monologues do not make a dialogue.” —Jeff Daly