5 Behavioral Styles Using the 5 Thinking Positions (5TP)
- Attitude Is All You Need! Second Edition will help you to improve your attitude, which improves everything else.
- Discovery Demands 5TP: The Evolution of Perspective learn how to see 5 sides to every issue and problem.
- Felling-Intention Therapy incorporates and moves beyond CBT for faster and deeper results.
- Click for diagrams and maps of how people control you.
5 Styles of Behavior
- Use the table version to explore the different styles and their results.
Notes on the 5 Styles
sort of, kind of, perhaps, maybe, will try, not sure, whatever, give in too quickly, agree too easily, please too often, whatever you want, phony, people-pleasers, doormat, appear nice but are weak, serve others as a martyr, blame others for codependency, please themselves but claim to only please others, seek approval for being martyr.
pretend to agree but sabotage, apathy, smile and stab in the back, gossip, politicking, stir stuff up, whiners, constant smile, hide meanness behind niceness, hide behind masks, can appear nice but are mean, sneaky, deceptive, dangerous, trick or treat, want approval before earning it.
firm but polite, calm but strong, resolved but civil, assured but not demanding, strong but not mean, help you help yourself, maintain boundaries, have their “yes” and “no,” can appear mean but are nice, believe in win/win scenarios, like but don’t need approval.
pretend to be a threat but run when the going gets tough, all bark and no bite, act tough but really fragile, pushover, all pretense, all bluff, mask wearers, appear mean but are weak, cowards, betrayal likely, never there when you need them, never accept approval.
you must, you have to, you got to, you should, you should have, you could have, blaming, damning, abusive, narcissistic, domineering, smothering, take advantage, what you see is what you get, appear mean and are mean, provide their own approval and imagine approval from others.
Quotations from Various Sources
“Among my most prized possessions are words that I have never spoken.” —Orson Card
“Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don’t matter and those who matter don’t mind.” —Dr. Seuss
“Blessed is the man who, having nothing to say, abstains from giving us worthy evidence of the fact.” —George Eliot
“But as he which hath called you is holy, so be ye holy in all manner of conversation;” —I Peter 1:15
“Don’t speak unless you can improve on the silence.” —Spanish proverb
“Draw me not away with the wicked, and with the workers of iniquity, which speak peace to their neighbours, but mischief is in their hearts.” —Psalms 28:3
“Education is the ability to listen to almost anything without losing your temper or your self-confidence.” —Robert Frost
“Foolishness always results when the tongue outraces the brain.” —Unknown
“It is better to keep one’s mouth shut and be thought a fool than to open it and resolve all doubt.” —Abraham Lincoln
“Narcissism is when your attention for ‘other’ focuses on abstract ideas of what you want to get from others, not on being aware of others as persons.” —Kevin Everett FitzMaurice
“Pleasant words are as an honeycomb, sweet to the soul, and health to the bones.” —Proverbs 16:24
“Silence is one of the hardest arguments to refute.” —Josh Billings
“Some man holdeth his tongue, because he hath not to answer: and some keepeth silence, knowing his time.” —Ecclesiasticus 20:6
“The first duty of love is to listen.” —Paul Tillich, 1886-1965
“The most precious things in speech are pauses.” —Ralph Richardson
“Treat a man as he is, and he will remain as he is. Treat a man as he could be, and he will become what he should be.” —Ralph Waldo Emerson