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The Problem & The Solution

Blaming Is Not Coping


Choose to Handle Self-Damning Properly

The Secret of Maturity, Third Edition for 99¢ will teach you how to own the power of emotional responsibility.

“He therefore that despiseth, despiseth not man, but God, who hath also given unto us His holy Spirit.”–I Thessalonians 4:8

“We can actually put the essence of neurosis in a single word: blaming–or damning.”–Albert Ellis and Robert A. Harper, A Guide to Rational Living, Third Edition, p. 127


THE PROBLEM & THE FALSE SOLUTION

The problem is my ego pain, emotional pain, and psychological pain that is caused by my self-damning.

The problem gets worse, because my desire to stop damning myself turns into my damning others instead.

I seek to end my problem of self-damning by refocusing my damning onto others.

• I damn people, places, and things instead of myself (at least consciously).

• I damn life and God.


THE PROBLEM & ONE SOLUTION

The problem is still my ego pain, emotional pain, and psychological pain that is caused by my self-damning.

The problem gets better, because my desire to stop damning myself turns into my damning my disturbed thinking.

I seek to end my problem of self-damning by refocusing my damning onto my thinking errors.

• I damn my foolish conditioning, life scripts, programming, and unproductive habits instead of myself.

• I damn my foolish choices, decisions, and thinking habits instead of myself.


Most people will not stop damning. Therefore, most people need to learn to refocus their self-damning onto their stinking thinking instead of onto others where it only increases problems.

Always remember that negative experiences and negative feelings are not to be allowed to be used as excuses for blaming and damning. Instead, accept the negative as part of life and do what you can to help improve or lessen it.


Book cover for Garden


QUOTATIONS VARIOUS SOURCES

Organized Alphabetically

“And just as two wrongs don’t make a right, rage against offenders is probably the worst way to try to correct them.”–Albert Ellis and Robert A. Harper, A Guide to Rational Living, Third Edition, p. 130

“Being right does not give you the right to damn.”–Kevin Everett FitzMaurice

“Condemn the sin, not the sinner.”–Christian saying

“Damning is the worst form of demanding.”–Kevin Everett FitzMaurice

“Damning is turning the living into things, into the dead.”–Kevin Everett FitzMaurice

“Damning is when the cure is worse than the illness.”–Kevin Everett FitzMaurice

“Damning is when the medicine is worse than the poison.”–Kevin Everett FitzMaurice

“Despise the crime, not the criminal.”–Japanese saying

“Even when people act nastily to you, don’t condemn them or retaliate.”–Albert Ellis and Robert A. Harper, A Guide to Rational Living, Third Edition, p. 205

“Fear less, hope more; eat less, chew more; whine less, breathe more; talk less, say more; hate less, love more; and all good things are yours.”–Swedish proverb

“Feeling bad won’t make you good.”–Kevin Everett FitzMaurice

“Feeling stupid won’t make you smart.”–Kevin Everett FitzMaurice

“Give not over thy mind to heaviness, and afflict not thyself in thine own counsel.”–Ecclesiasticus 30:21

“He that is void of wisdom despiseth his neighbour: but a man of understanding holdeth his peace.”–Proverbs 11:12

“He therefore that despiseth, despiseth not man, but God, who hath also given unto us His holy Spirit.”–I Thessalonians 4:8

“I will permit no man to narrow and degrade my soul by making me hate him.”–Booker Taliaferro Washington, 1856-1915

“If you would stop, really stop, damning yourself, others, and unkind conditions, you would find it almost impossible to upset yourself emotionally–about anything. Yes, anything.”–Albert Ellis and Robert A. Harper, A Guide to Rational Living, Third Edition, p. 127

“Let us not burden our remembrances with a heaviness that is gone.”–William Shakespeare

“Only God can damn without serving Satan.”–Kevin Everett FitzMaurice

“The whiner equates pain with power.”–Kevin Everett FitzMaurice

“To avoid criticism, do nothing, say nothing, be nothing.”–Elbert Hubbard

“To condemn is stupid and easy, but to understand is arduous, requiring pliability and intelligence.”–J. Krishnamurti, The Collected Works of J. Krishnamurti, Volume IV, page 143

“We can actually put the essence of neurosis in a single word: blaming–or damning.”–Albert Ellis and Robert A. Harper, A Guide to Rational Living, Third Edition, p. 127

“When a man points a finger at someone else, he should remember that four of his fingers are pointing at himself.”–Louis Nizer

“When you point a finger at another, you are also pointing three fingers at yourself.”–Anonymous (often quoted in AA in various forms)

“You are what you hate not what you ate.”–Kevin Everett FitzMaurice

“You can overcome anything if you don’t bellyache.”–Bernard M. Baruch

“You cannot solve a problem by condemning it.”–Wayne Dwyer

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