Men Comfort Women First, Then Problem-Solve 4 Better Results

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Men Comfort Women First

Ego will help you to recognize, remove, and replace your ego: a.k.a. self-esteem.

Men comfort women before trying to fix the woman’s problem. We all need coping and problem-solving. Women need coping first, not last.

Men call women crazy because women tell men to talk about the issue, but then the women complain when men talk about the issue.
Women don’t know how to tell men to talk about the woman’s feelings about the issue or topic, not the issue or topic itself.
Women want men to comfort and soothe their feelings about the topic, not to talk about the topic.
Men want to explore the topic or fix the problem, which will not work with an upset woman.
Most men want to fix, a.k.a. problem-solve, when they hear a problem; this is a healthy response when the woman is not distressed or upset. Yes, women like fixing and problem-solving, too, when not distressed.
A good way to get a woman to say that you don’t care about her, don’t listen to her, and ignore how she feels is to try to fix her upset by trying to fix her problem when she is upset.
Explaining what you were trying to do will not help when the woman is upset because it is not comforting and soothing her feelings (so it is off the real topic of her feelings).

Men get confused because they can’t ignore or focus on the topic without causing more conflict.
The solution is to focus on the woman’s feelings about the topic, not the topic itself.
Ignoring how the woman feels about the topic can send her into a rage.
Many women will find a way to get revenge and punish you for “causing” them to be more upset because you failed to comfort and soothe them when they shared their feelings.
Women will say, “Stay on topic,” but it means, “Stay on how I feel.”
The topic is upsetting to the woman, so by staying on the topic, the woman sees you as continuing her upset. A different logic for men to be aware of.
Staying on topic is the problem unless you understand the topic is how they feel.
Few women will object if you let the topic drop by focusing on their feelings.
If you don’t agree with them, then you are not agreeing that they feel the way they are feeling.
You have to understand that the conversation is about how the woman feels, and not taking that seriously or disagreeing with it will likely cause the woman to become angry and more upset.

Find out if comforting and soothing works by practicing it and testing your results.
Stay on the topic = stay on how they feel about the topic.
Soothe how they feel. See if that logic makes a difference. Many men have reported it does.
The trick is to pause, refocus on their need about the topic, and soothe so they calm down and report feeling better.
The topic is not important. The emotion wants comforting.
Refocus on that fact by first pausing your problem-solving or factual response.
Men can be great at comforting and soothing with practice when they understand that that is the task at hand.
Understand that we have focused on dealing with distressed men and women differently; however, both methods will sometimes help with both.

Read and master the life skill of acceptance using the best combination of CBT, REBT, & Stoicism.
This book will help you develop the emotional strength to comfort women first.

Read and master the life skill of acceptance using the best combination of CBT, REBT, & Stoicism.
This book will help you develop the emotional strength to comfort women first.

Read and master the life skill of acceptance using the best combination of CBT, REBT, & Stoicism.
This book will help you develop the emotional strength to comfort women first.