What Do Men Want?

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Men Want 4 Things

  • Games Ego Plays will give you the advantage of knowing the map, roles, and rules for social games.

“Encouragement and problem-solving can be used to promote coping such that negative thinking can be neutralized or switched away from to positive thinking. In the case of men, this is a necessary strategy to master, practice, and share.” —Kevin Everett FitzMaurice

intelligent responding

1. Supportive & Loyal Wife

  • This has traditionally meant that the man wants to know that his wife stands behind him: “stand by your man.”
  • It also means that the man wants encouragement from the woman to pursue his dreams and talents.
  • A man wants to feel helped, defended, and promoted by his wife.

2. To Please their Wife

  • This has traditionally been about being a good provider for their wife: support object.
  • It has always included wanting to know that they please their wife sexually.
  • It is also about being loved and valued for their personhood.

3. To Be Taken Care of by their Wife

  • This has traditionally been about the wife taking care of the husband’s needs and chores such as cooking, cleaning, and shopping.
  • It is also about being comforted and cared for emotionally and physically as a mother would when he feels down or sick.
  • Yes, a man wants to be babied at times. For example, sit on one end of a couch and have the man lay down and put his head in your lap. Then gently rub and massage his head. Most men love this more than most things.

4. Encouragement & Support 

  • This has been traditionally to encourage and support a man in his career or work.
  • It is also about encouraging and supporting a man in his dreams.
  • It is also about encouraging and supporting a man in his efforts to problem-solve.

Job Never Done

  • Think of supplying a food pantry.
  • No matter how well you stock it, some items will run out, and eventually, all of it will need resupplying.

  • There is no time that you can rest and think that the four wants are fulfilled.
  • You must continually satisfy and refill all four wants.
  • Make it a habit to regularly review all four wants to be sure you are not missing one.

Arguments Are About Missing the Four

  • When couples argue, they argue mainly because they are not getting one or more of their four desires met.

  • The argument might be about who controls the TV remote, but it is really about not getting one or more of their four wants met.
  • If each partner will review in themselves the four things that the other desires, then they will find out which one or ones they are not currently providing.
  • If they will then provide those wants, the relationship will get back on track for both parties.