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What Do Women Want?

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Women Want 4 Things

  • Games Ego Plays will give you the advantage of knowing the map, roles, and rules for social games.

“The great question that has never been answered, and which I have not yet been able to answer, despite my thirty years of research into the feminine soul, is ‘What does a woman want?’” —Sigmund Freud

“Comfort and soothing can be used to promote coping such that negative thinking can be neutralized or switched away from to positive thinking. In the case of women, this is a necessary strategy to master, practice, and share.” —Kevin Everett FitzMaurice


1. To feel supported by their husband.

  • This has traditionally been about financial support and physical security.
  • It is also about the security of the relationship, the family, and the home.

2. To be considered as pleasing by their husband.

  • This has traditionally been about being attractive or sexually desirable to their husband.
  • It is also about being desirable to be with and being loved for their personhood.

3. To have their husband’s time.

This includes:

  • listening to the wife without problem-solving, being around the home, playing with the children, watching a show or movie together that both want to see, working in the garden together, eating together, hanging out together, etc.

It does not include:

  • the husband watching sports the wife is not involved in, the husband working on the yard while the wife works on the house, separate amusements in the same room or home.

4. To recieve comforting and soothing instead of problem-solving.

  1. Women need to cope before they are interested in problem-solving.
  2. Coping for women is to switch their focus from negative thinking to positive or neutral thinking.
  3. Women switch the focus of their thinking when they receive comforting and soothing responses from someone they love or trust.
  4. Problem-solving is often not wanted at all.

Job Never Done

Consider the four wants to be leaky buckets that you must keep filling.

  • There is no time that you can rest and think that the four wants are fulfilled.
  • You must continually satisfy and refill the four wants.
  • Make it a habit to regularly review all four wants in case you are missing serving one.

Arguments Are About Missing the Four or One of Them

  • When couples argue, they argue because they are not getting one or more of their four desires met.
  • The argument may be about toilet paper, but most of the time it is really about not getting one or more of their four wants met.
  • If each partner will review in themselves the four things that the other desires, they will find out which one or ones they are not currently providing.
  • If they will then provide those desires, the relationship will get back on track.

Related Pages

  1. Happy Relationships Are Easy
  2. Men Comfort Women
  3. What Do Men Want?
  4. Women Encourage Men

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