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How to Stop Whiners
Do you hate it when they whine?
Do you hate it when they whine and say: "don't you agree," "do you see my point," "ain't it awful," "aren't they just terrible for doing that," etc.?
Do you want to graciously stop them from wasting your time and using you to confirm their distorted views?
Then memorize the following line:
"Thanks for the honor of being a judge.
But, in order to be a fair judge--
I will have to hear the other side first."
If you stick to this line each time they whine--they will soon stop bothering you and move on to annoying others.
Understanding People
People are not as hard to figure out as you might suspect. The following generalizations are general and not specific, therefore, they inherently recognize that they do not cover all situations.
People who whine about being abused are abusers of themselves and others.
People who whine about abuse do so to get you to abuse those they whine about.
People who whine about injustice are unjust.
People who whine about unfairness are unfair.
People who whine about the lack of peace are war like.
People who continually whine about a value or moral not being followed do not follow that moral or value themselves.
People who whine about something use the fact of their whining as an excuse to not have to follow the very thing they are complaining others do not follow.
People who do not show trust are untrustworthy.
People who continually doubt are to be doubted.
People who constantly worry are a worry.
FACTOID: Whining increases problems by focusing you on problems instead of solutions.
POWER GAME: The whiner sees pain and their imagining pain as the way to power.
For information on styles of communicating see: 25 Relational Styles.
Damning, Whining, Blaming
QUOTATIONS VARIOUS SOURCES
"Be the change you seek."--Mahatma Gandhi
"Whining about your own, others', or the world's failings is a main element in what we usually call neurosis."--Albert Ellis & Robert A. Harper, A Guide to Rational Living, Third Edition, p. 215
"Pain is inevitable. Suffering is optional."--Anonymous
"You can overcome anything if you don't bellyache."--Bernard Baruch
"We can actually put the essence of neurosis in a single word: blaming--or damning."--Albert Ellis & Robert A. Harper, A Guide to Rational Living, Third Edition, p. 127
"What poison is to food, self-pity is to life."--Oliver C. Wilson
"Why make the game of life more difficult by fretting and whining about its unfairness. Do--don't stew!"--Albert Ellis & Robert A. Harper, A Guide to Rational Living, Third Edition, p. 165.
"Difficulties are things that show what men are."--Epictetus
"So I'd better stop my whining and help myself cope better with even the worst Adversities."--Albert Ellis & Robert A. Harper, A Guide to Rational Living, Third Edition, p. 251.
"Two monologues do not make a dialogue."--Jeff Daly
"Most conversations are simply monologues delivered in the presence of a witness."--Margaret Millar
"Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind."--Dr. Seuss
"It is better to keep one's mouth shut and be thought a fool than to open it and resolve all doubt."--Abraham Lincoln
"Blessed is the man who, having nothing to say, abstains from giving us worthy evidence of the fact."--George Eliot
"Silence is one of the hardest arguments to refute."--Josh Billings
"There are very few people who don't become more interesting when they stop talking."--Mary Lowry
"Some man holdeth his tongue, because he hath not to answer: and some keepeth silence, knowing his time."--Ecclesiasticus 20:6
"Treat a man as he is, and he will remain as he is. Treat a man as he could be, and he will become what he should be."--Ralph Waldo Emerson
"The most precious things in speech are pauses."--Ralph Richardson
"Don't speak unless you can improve on the silence."--Spanish proverb
"Foolishness always results when the tongue outraces the brain."--Unknown
"Among my most prized possessions are words that I have never spoken."--Orson Card
"Pleasant words are as an honeycomb, sweet to the soul, and health to the bones."--Proverbs 16:24
"Draw me not away with the wicked, and with the workers of iniquity, which speak peace to their neighbours, but mischief is in their hearts."--Psalms 28:3
"He that is void of wisdom despiseth his neighbour: but a man of understanding holdeth his peace."--Proverbs 11:12
"But as he which hath called you is holy, so be ye holy in all manner of conversation;"--I Peter 1:15
"The first duty of love is to listen."--Paul Tillich, 1886-1965
