Victimhood Is Self-Defeating Pride
• Garden will teach you an easy and effective system of Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT).
Self-esteem thinking systems lead to two basic types of people: masochists and sadists.
- The masochists take pleasure in low self-esteem, which is to know better than yourself.
- The sadists take pleasure in high self-esteem, which is to know better than others.
In other words, the masochists take pleasure in receiving pain (I am inferior) and the sadists take pleasure in giving pain (they are inferior).
Pride also consists of two basic types: knowing better than self and knowing better than others.
It is easy to see that sadists think they know better than others and so have pride in being superior. It is also relatively easy to see that masochists think they know better than themselves and so have pride in being inferior.
What is a little harder to see is that masochists/victims have more pride than sadists. Why? Because victims get to have both forms of pride: victims get to have the pride of both knowing better than themselves AND knowing better than others.
Victims think they are stupid (the pride of knowing better than themselves) for allowing themselves to be abused again.
And, victims also think others are bad (the pride of knowing better than others) for the abuse others do to them. Victims maintain their script by both thinking everyone is good, has high morals, AND that everyone is mean and bad.
They need to trust in order to get abused and be stupid and to damn in order to know better. Hence, they believe both that people are good and bad.
Victims think they are superior to abusers:
“I would never do that.” Victims think they are superior to themselves: “I am such a loser.”
Victims have the most fun, the most ego, the most pride, the most high self-esteem.
- Victims double their pride by knowing better than themselves and others at the same time.
Remember, high self-esteem is inseparable from low self-esteem because they are the two sides of the same coin: yin and yang for each other. Hence, the more of one you have–the more of the other you also have.
Sadists hide their low self-esteem in darkness (subconscious and unconscious minds). Victims hide their high self-esteem in darkness (subconscious and unconscious minds).
- For more information on scripts and more example scripts, please read Games Ego Plays.
- 3 Stages of Counseling or Switching
- Blame or Responsibility: 100 Excuses
- Counseling Issues: Reasons Why
- Dental Analogy of Counseling
- Garden Your Mind: 3Rs
- Self-Esteem Issues: List of Pages
- Shoelaces Parable on Responsibility
- Thinking Skills: What, How & Why Questions
- Why Not Why?
QUOTATIONS VARIOUS SOURCES
“A fool is only a fool because he won’t see he is a fool.” —Kevin Everett FitzMaurice
“A fool remains a fool because he won’t see he is a fool.” —Kevin Everett FitzMaurice
“A man of genius makes no mistakes. His errors are volitional and are the portals of discovery.” —James Joyce
“Advice is what we ask for when we already know the answer but wish we didn’t.” —Erica Jong
“But if ye be without chastisement, whereof all are partakers, then are ye bastards, and not sons.” —Hebrews 12:8
“By honestly acknowledging your past errors, but never damning yourself for them, you can learn to use your past for your own future benefit.” —Albert Ellis and Robert A. Harper, A Guide to Rational Living, Third Edition, p. 194
“Correction is grievous unto him that forsaketh the way: and he that hateth reproof shall die.” —Proverbs 15:5
“Failure doesn’t have anything to do with your intrinsic value as a person.” —Albert Ellis and Robert A. Harper, A Guide to Rational Living, Third Edition, p. 206
“Faithful are the wounds of a friend; but the kisses of an enemy are deceitful.” —Proverbs 27:6
“For what glory is it, if, when ye be buffeted for your faults, ye shall take it patiently? but if, when ye do well, and suffer for it, ye take it patiently, this is acceptable with God.” —I Peter 2:20
“For whom the Lord loveth he chasteneth, and scourgeth every son whom he receiveth.” —Hebrews 12:6
“If we eliminated all errors, we would also eliminate much discovery, art, insight, learning, and creativity that results from facing errors.” —Kevin Everett FitzMaurice
“If ye endure chastening, God dealeth with you as with sons; for what son is he whom the father chasteneth not?” —Hebrews 12:7
“Justifying a fault doubles it.” —French proverb
“My son, despise not the chastening of the LORD; neither be weary of his correction:” —Proverbs 3:11
“No one wants advice–only corroboration.” —John Steinbeck
“Some people like my advice so much that they frame it upon the wall instead of using it.” —Gordon R. Dickson
“The trouble with most of us is that we would rather be ruined by praise than saved by criticism.” —Norman Vincent Peale
“There is no point to correction unless there is there is the possibility of correction.” —Kevin Everett FitzMaurice
“When receiving correction, the wise seeks to learn and the fool seeks to justify with excuses.” —Kevin Everett FitzMaurice
“When you lose, don’t lose the lesson.” —Anonymous
“A wise man will hear, and will increase learning; and a man of understanding shall attain unto wise counsels:”–Proverbs 1:5
“Where no counsel is, the people fall: but in the multitude of counselors there is safety.”–Proverbs 11:14
“The way of a fool is right in his own eyes: but he that hearkeneth unto counsel is wise.”–Proverbs 12:15
“Deceit is in the heart of them that imagine evil: but to the counselors of peace is joy.”–Proverbs 12:20
“Without counsel purposes are disappointed: but in the multitude of counselors they are established.”–Proverbs 15:22
“Hear counsel, and receive instruction, that thou mayest be wise in thy latter end.”–Proverbs 19:20
“Every purpose is established by counsel: and with good advice make war.”–Proverbs 20:18
“Take counsel, execute judgment; make thy shadow as the night in the midst of the noonday; hide the outcasts; bewray not him that wandereth.”–Isaiah 16:3
“Extol not thyself in the counsel of thine own heart; that thy soul be not torn in pieces as a bull [straying alone.]”–Ecclesiasticus 6:2
“As timber girt and bound together in a building cannot be loosed with shaking: so the heart that is stablished by advised counsel shall fear at no time.”–Ecclesiasticus 22:16
“Give not over thy mind to heaviness, and afflict not thyself in thine own counsel.”–Ecclesiasticus 30:21
“A man of counsel will be considerate; but a strange and proud man is not daunted with fear, even when of himself he hath done without counsel.”–Ecclesiasticus 32:18
“And let the counsel of thine own heart stand: for there is no man more faithful unto thee than it.”–Ecclesiasticus 37:13
“Let reason go before every enterprise, and counsel before every action.”–Ecclesiasticus 38:33
“Gold and silver make the foot stand sure: but counsel is esteemed above them both.”–Ecclesiasticus 40:25