Part 2 of the 4 Parts of the 8 Steps of Anger
• Breathe will teach you how to relax and regain self-control in just 4 seconds.
“He that is slow to anger is better than the mighty; and he that ruleth his spirit than he that taketh a city.”–Proverbs 16:32
8 STEPS WITH OPEN EXAMPLE
- BAD HAPPENS: Notice it
I experienced/did/had/knew the following negative experience (add your own).
- BLAME SELF: Should on self
I should not have done (add your own) and “it” (number one) would never have happened.
- DAMN SELF: Demonize self
I am inferior/stupid/worthless for experiencing/doing/ having/knowing bad (number one).
- EGO PAIN: Hurt feelings
I feel hurt, ashamed, despair, discouraged, helpless.
- ANGER DEFENDS: Crooked anger
I am mad at you/them/it/life/God for giving/causing me bad (number one).
- BLAME OTHERS: Should on others
They should not have done (add your own) and it (number one) would never have happened.
- DAMN OTHERS: Demonize others
They are inferior/stupid/worthless for causing me bad (number one).
- DEMAND CHANGE: Musturbate
They must stop, change, and/or fix it (number one). They must make me feel better. They must suffer for causing my pain. I must punish them for causing me pain.
- Anger is supposed to stop the source of pain for you. For example, if you are experiencing physical pain then anger will help you fight to stop it.
However, when the pain is ego pain then anger most often gets misdirected at others instead of your thinking that is causing your ego pain.
Therefore, stop blaming and damning yourself and you will stop blaming and damning others. You cannot control others but you can control your thinking. Stop hurting yourself with self-damning.
- Eight Steps of Reacting: page 1 of 4
- Eight Steps of Anger Reacting: page 3 Corrected
- Eight Steps of Anger Reacting: page 4 Example
- Long version of adding shit to shit.
- Short version of adding shit to shit.
- STPHFR for understanding your anger.
QUOTATIONS VARIOUS SOURCES
“A man has no more character than he can command in a time of crisis.”–Ralph W. Sockman
“Do not weep; do not wax indignant. Understand.”–Baruch Spinoza
“He that is slow to wrath is of great understanding: but he that is hasty of spirit exalteth folly.”–Proverbs 14:29
“He who angers you conquers you.”–Elizabeth Kenny
“Holding on to anger is like grasping a hot coal with the intent of throwing it at someone else; you are the one getting burned.”–Buddha
“If you are patient in one moment of anger, you will avoid one hundred days of sorrow.”–Chinese proverb
“To be wronged is nothing unless you continue to remember it.”–Confucius
“To disagree, one doesn’t have to be disagreeable.”–Barry Goldwater