Part 3 of the 4 Parts of the 8 Steps of Anger
• Breathe will teach you how to relax and regain self-control in just 4 seconds.
“He that is slow to anger is better than the mighty; and he that ruleth his spirit than he that taketh a city.”–Proverbs 16:32
8 STEPS WITH HELPFUL OPEN EXAMPLE
- BAD HAPPENS: Notice it
I experienced/did/had/knew the following negative experience (add one of yours).
- BLAME SELF: Should on self
I should not have done (add yours) and it (number one) would never have happened.
- DAMN SELF: Demonize self
I am inferior/stupid/worthless for experiencing/doing/ having/knowing bad (number one).
- EGO PAIN: Hurt feelings
I feel hurt, ashamed, despair, discouraged, helpless.
- ANGER DEFENDS: Helpful anger
I am mad at my self-blaming and self-damning for causing me ego pain (number four).
- BLAME THINKING: Helpful blaming
I blame my stinking thinking for causing me to both feel bad and to react poorly to adversity.
- DAMN THINKING: Helpful damning
My self-damning is inferior/stupid/worthless for causing me to feel bad (number four).
- DEMAND THINKING STOP: Helpful demanding
I must blame and damn myself and others less and less. I must blame and damn my stinking thinking more and more. I must make myself feel better.
- Since you will unlikely quit blaming and damning then make blaming and damning work for you.
Turn your blaming and damning urges onto your stinking thinking that is causing you to feel bad and to react ineffectively.
Stop blaming and damning your being, your self, and, instead, start blaming and damning your blaming and damning of your being, your self. Blame and damn thinking not being. Blame the real cause–your thinking.
- Eight Steps of Reacting: page 1 of 4
- Eight Steps of Reacting: page 2 of 4 Detail
- Eight Steps of Anger Reacting: page 4 Example
- Long version of adding shit to shit.
- Short version of adding shit to shit.
- STPHFR for understanding your anger.
QUOTATIONS VARIOUS SOURCES
“A man has no more character than he can command in a time of crisis.”–Ralph W. Sockman
“Do not weep; do not wax indignant. Understand.”–Baruch Spinoza
“He that is slow to wrath is of great understanding: but he that is hasty of spirit exalteth folly.”–Proverbs 14:29
“He who angers you conquers you.”–Elizabeth Kenny
“Holding on to anger is like grasping a hot coal with the intent of throwing it at someone else; you are the one getting burned.”–Buddha
“If you are patient in one moment of anger, you will avoid one hundred days of sorrow.”–Chinese proverb
“To be wronged is nothing unless you continue to remember it.”–Confucius
“To disagree, one doesn’t have to be disagreeable.”–Barry Goldwater