Part 4 of the 4 Parts of the 8 Steps of Anger
• Breathe will teach you how to relax and regain self-control in just 4 seconds.
“He that is slow to anger is better than the mighty; and he that ruleth his spirit than he that taketh a city.”–Proverbs 16:32
8 STEP EXAMPLE
- Sally called me an idiot.
- I should have known that term. I should have impressed her. I should have figured it out.
- I am stupid for not knowing that word. I am an inferior person for not appearing smart.
- I feel ashamed and discouraged..
- I am mad at Sally for calling me an idiot.
- Sally should be more understanding and not uppity. Sally should think well of me.
- Sally is stupid for not understanding when someone doesn’t know a word. Sally is bad for making me feel bad. Sally is my enemy.
- I will make Sally pay for making me mad. She must never do that to me again. She must change.
STEPS 5-8 WITH A HELPFUL FOCUS
5. I am mad that I tell myself that I am stupid.
6. I should not put my self down because that only makes me feel bad and prevents problem-solving.
7. It is stupid to think I am stupid because it programs and scripts me to act stupid.
8. Self-damning is self-defeating. I must blame and damn my self less and less. I must blame and damn my stinking thinking more and more.
- Eight Steps of Reacting: page 1 of 4
- Eight Steps of Reacting: page 2 of 4 Detail
- Eight Steps of Anger Reacting: page 3 Corrected
- Long version of adding shit to shit.
- Short version of adding shit to shit.
- STPHFR for understanding your anger.
QUOTATIONS VARIOUS SOURCES
“A man has no more character than he can command in a time of crisis.”–Ralph W. Sockman
“Do not weep; do not wax indignant. Understand.”–Baruch Spinoza
“For wrath killeth the foolish man, and envy slayeth the silly one.”–Job 5:2
“He who angers you conquers you.”–Elizabeth Kenny
“Holding on to anger is like grasping a hot coal with the intent of throwing it at someone else; you are the one getting burned.”–Buddha
“If you are patient in one moment of anger, you will avoid one hundred days of sorrow.”–Chinese proverb
“To be wronged is nothing unless you continue to remember it.”–Confucius
“To disagree, one doesn’t have to be disagreeable.”–Barry Goldwater