Why Can Keep You Stuck 2 Do Better Move on Now & Enjoy

Why?ParablesAnswersQuotationsRelated Pages6 Groups of Topics10 Skills & Topics

Asking “Why” Can Be Avoidance

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Why can be a problem. Discover a Zen story on the problem of knowing and answering why before you act. Three reasons to forget to focus on asking questions.

“Every ‘why’ invites a ‘because.’” —Reuven Alcalay

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Zen Parable on “Whying”

Once, a general sat atop a hill surrounded by an elite guard.
As he observed the battle’s progress, a stray arrow struck him in the chest.
When his physician came to pull out the arrow and tend to his wounds, the general said, “First, let me find out who shot me, then you can take out the arrow.”

Looking to Get an Answer

So, the general sent out some of his elite guards to find the archer.
Surprisingly, they were able to find out who shot the arrow.
Rushing back to the general, they told him who the archer was.
The surgeon again began preparations to remove the arrow; however, the general objected and said, “First, let me find out who made the arrow, then you can take out the arrow.”

Always More Questions

So, once again, the general sent out some of his elite guards.
This time to find the maker of the arrow.
Surprisingly, they were able to find out who made the arrow.
Rushing back to the general, they informed him of who the maker was.
The surgeon again began preparations to remove the arrow; however, the general objected and said, “First, let me find out what tree the arrow came from, then you can take out the arrow.”

Still Asking

So, once again, the general sent out some of his elite guards.
This time to find the tree that the arrow was made from.
Surprisingly, they found out what tree the arrow was cut from.
Rushing back to the general, they informed him which tree was used to make the arrow.
The surgeon again began preparations to remove the arrow; however, the general objected and said, “First, let me find out who planted the tree that the arrow came from, then you can take out the arrow.”

Asking Can Be Endless

So, once again, the general sent out some of his elite guards.
This time, find the planter of the tree from which the arrow was made.
Surprisingly, they were able to find out who planted the tree that the arrow was cut from.
Rushing back to the general, they found that he had bled to death while waiting for answers to all of his “why” questions.

Parable Circulating 12-Step Groups About “Whying”

There once was a man who was on a sinking ship.
When the others were safely in the lifeboat, they asked him to join them.
But he refused.
He said he could not leave the sinking ship until he knew “why” it was sinking.
The others watched in horror as he went down with the ship.

FitzMaurice’s Analogy About “Whying”

To insist on knowing “why” before you accept help is like falling in the ocean and refusing to swim to shore until you know “why” you fell in.

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Answers to Asking

Answers to “why” vary according to the preferences of the hunters as to which target to blame.
Targets can be grouped into being either of an inner or an outer nature.
Inner targets can be grouped either as responsibility or spirituality issues.
Outer targets can be grouped either as physical or social environment issues.
Hence, there are many permutations, possible combinations of causes, and possible explanations.

Persistence in Self-Defeating Behaviors: 3 Reasons

(1) you are biologically prone to the negative;
(2) you are sociologically conditioned to the negative;
(3) you are habitually drawn to the negative.

The Bottom Line

You should work against your negative tendencies, whether natural, social, or just a bad habit.

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Quotations Various Sources

Listed Alphabetically

“Answers to ‘why’ are often just an escape from the whirlpool effect of ‘why.’” —Kevin Everett FitzMaurice

“Don’t ask why the patient is the way ; ask, ask for what he would change.” —Milton Erickson

“Every ‘why’ invites a ‘because.’” —Reuven Alcalay

“For what glory is it, if, when ye be buffeted for your faults, ye shall take it patiently? but if, when ye do well, and suffer for it, ye take it patiently, this is acceptable with God.” —I Peter 2:20

“If we waited until we knew why matter existed, there would be no physics.” —Kevin Everett FitzMaurice

“If we waited until we knew why the exchange of electrons gave off energy, there would be no electricity.” —Kevin Everett FitzMaurice

“If we waited until we knew why the universe existed, there would be no astronomy.” —Kevin Everett FitzMaurice

“‘Why’ is a witch hunt.” —Kevin Everett FitzMaurice

“‘Why’ is the luxury of leisure, but ‘what’ and ‘how’ are the tools of work.” —Kevin Everett FitzMaurice

“‘Why’ is the merry-go-round of procrastinators.” —Kevin Everett FitzMaurice

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Related Pages of Free Information

Read and discover the best self-help system using CBT & REBT.

6 Groups of Topics Menu

Read and discover how CBT, REBT, & Stoicism evolved into one system: STPHFR.

Read and discover the world’s best breathing exercise for centering and peace of mind.

Read and discover the best diagrams and maps of how people control and manipulate you.

10 Skills & Topics Menu

Read and discover how CBT, REBT, & Stoicism evolved into one system: STPHFR.

Read and discover the world’s best breathing exercise for centering and peace of mind.

Read and discover the best diagrams and maps of how people control and manipulate you.

Why Not Why?