Use the 3Rs for Effective & Efficient Counseling
- Garden will teach you an easy and effective system of Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT & REBT).
The 3Rs & DENTAL WORK: Understand the 3Rs Using the Dental Analogy
WHEN YOU SEE A DENTIST—
Do you want the dentist to start drilling right away?
Wouldn’t you prefer it if the dentist first Recognized your cavities?
- Do you want your dentist to stop removing your cavities before he or she is finished because of the discomfort or pain?
- Wouldn’t you prefer it that your dentist keep Removing until the job was done?
- Do you want your dentist to Replace your cavities with fillings before he or she has even recognized or removed them?
RIGHT ORDER for The 3Rs
Thanks to the analogy of dental work, it is easy to see why the 3Rs need to be completed:
- In the right order each time.
- Thoroughly each time.
- Each time there is a problem.
Can EXPLORATION or Listening Cure Your Cavity?
Do you want your dentist to try to cure your cavity by just talking to you about your cavity?
- Do you want your dentist to help you explore all of your feelings that contribute to or cause your cavities?
- Do you want your dentist to explore all of the “causes” for your not taking better care of your teeth or for your eating sugar?
- Do you want your dentist to explore your family’s history of cavities or the generational pattern of cavities in your family tree?
- Do you want your dentist to explore how you were trained to brush your teeth and what went wrong with your early oral hygiene training?
- Will any amount of exploration about the problem of your cavity ever cure or fix your cavity?
- Will your dentist trying to make you feel better by soothing, comforting, listening, normalizing, or relating to you fix your cavity?
WHY Is There a Cavity?
Do you want your dentist to wait until he or she knows why you have the cavity before he or she treats it?
- Will knowing why to remove and replace the cavity actually remove and replace the cavity?
- While knowing “why” may be helpful in preventing further cavities, there is no need to know why to recognize, remove, and replace the current cavity.
- Can you ever be sure that you will know the reason for any one cavity?
- Was the cavity caused by: a lack of fluoride, a poor toothbrush, bad diet, bad toothpaste, bad water, candy, cookies, desserts, drinking soda pop, eating habits, eating junk food, frequency of your brushing, genetics, how you brush, ice cream, lack of flossing, or putting sugar into your tea or coffee?
- Or was your cavity caused by a combination of all of that and some unknown variables?
- Recognize, remove, and replace the current poison (cavity, ego, thinking errors, faulty scripts).
- Recognize, remove, and replace future poisons (negative conditioning, faulty beliefs).
- Recognize, remove, and replace past poisons (negative conditioning, faulty beliefs).
- 3 Stages of Switching for Counseling
- Garden Your Mind: 3Rs
- Shoelaces Parable on Responsibility
- Why Not Why?
- REBT Is Deeper than CBT, CT, and other Counseling Theories
Save the Work of Carl Rogers
Quotations from Various Sources
“A fool is only a fool because he won’t see he is a fool.” —Kevin Everett FitzMaurice
“A man of genius makes no mistakes. His errors are volitional and are the portals of discovery.” —James Joyce
“But if ye be without chastisement, whereof all are partakers, then are ye bastards, and not sons.” —Hebrews 12:8
“By honestly acknowledging your past errors, but never damning yourself for them, you can learn to use your past for your own future benefit.” —Albert Ellis and Robert A. Harper, A Guide to Rational Living, Third Edition, p. 194
“Correction is grievous unto him that forsaketh the way: and he that hateth reproof shall die.” —Proverbs 15:5
“Failure doesn’t have anything to do with your intrinsic value as a person.” —Albert Ellis and Robert A. Harper, A Guide to Rational Living, Third Edition, p. 206
“For whom the Lord loveth he chasteneth, and scourgeth every son whom he receiveth.” —Hebrews 12:6
“If we eliminated all errors, we would also eliminate much discovery, art, insight, learning, and creativity that results from facing errors.” —Kevin Everett FitzMaurice
“If ye endure chastening, God dealeth with you as with sons; for what son is he whom the father chasteneth not?” —Hebrews 12:7
“My son, despise not the chastening of the LORD; neither be weary of his correction:” —Proverbs 3:11
“The great man is he who does not lose his child-heart.” —Mencius
“The greatest explorer on this earth never takes voyages as long as those of the man who descends to the depth of his heart.” —Julien Green
“The trouble with most of us is that we would rather be ruined by praise than saved by criticism.” —Norman Vincent Peale
“When receiving correction, the wise seeks to learn and the fool seeks to justify with excuses.” —Kevin Everett FitzMaurice
Quotatoins from Scripture
“A wise man will hear, and will increase learning; and a man of understanding shall attain unto wise counsels:” —Proverbs 1:5
“Where no counsel is, the people fall: but in the multitude of counselors there is safety.” —Proverbs 11:14
“The way of a fool is right in his own eyes: but he that hearkeneth unto counsel is wise.” —Proverbs 12:15
“Deceit is in the heart of them that imagine evil: but to the counselors of peace is joy.” —Proverbs 12:20
“Without counsel purposes are disappointed: but in the multitude of counselors they are established.” —Proverbs 15:22
“Hear counsel, and receive instruction, that thou mayest be wise in thy latter end.” —Proverbs 19:20
“Every purpose is established by counsel: and with good advice make war.” —Proverbs 20:18
“Take counsel, execute judgment; make thy shadow as the night in the midst of the noonday; hide the outcasts; bewray not him that wandereth.” —Isaiah 16:3
“Extol not thyself in the counsel of thine own heart; that thy soul be not torn in pieces as a bull [straying alone.]” —Ecclesiasticus 6:2
“As timber girt and bound together in a building cannot be loosed with shaking: so the heart that is stablished by advised counsel shall fear at no time.” —Ecclesiasticus 22:16
“Give not over thy mind to heaviness, and afflict not thyself in thine own counsel.” —Ecclesiasticus 30:21
“A man of counsel will be considerate; but a strange and proud man is not daunted with fear, even when of himself he hath done without counsel.” —Ecclesiasticus 32:18
“And let the counsel of thine own heart stand: for there is no man more faithful unto thee than it.” —Ecclesiasticus 37:13
“Let reason go before every enterprize, and counsel before every action.” —Ecclesiasticus 38:33
“Gold and silver make the foot stand sure: but counsel is esteemed above them both.” —Ecclesiasticus 40:25