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I Don’t Have to Act the Way that I Feel

Act Against Anger


I Can Choose to Act the Opposite of How I Feel


Attitude Choices

  • LOGIC: Just because I feel angry it does not follow that I have to act angry.
  • SELF-CONTROL: I can choose how I will respond despite how I feel.
  • VICTIM: I will not be a victim of my own emotions. I will choose how to respond despite what my emotions cry.
  • SLAVE: I will not be a slave to my emotions. I will decide how I will respond–NOT my emotions.

Contain a Feeling

  • I can and will contain my feelings for the appropriate time and place.
  • If they desire a release, they can wait for the right occasion.

Example

  • I will not express my anger to the State Trooper who has stopped me for speeding.
  • I will choose to remain calm and will express my anger at a later time.

Practical Approach to Feelings

  • I will deal with my feelings when it is helpful and not hurtful for any concerned.

Example

  • I will not let my feelings guide my conversation with my inadequate boss.
  • Instead, I will let my mind rule and will deal with my feelings about my boss later.

Weakling Has Weak Emotional Control

  • I will not act like an emotional weakling who has to risk his life over words.
  • For example, I now see that cowboys are the weakest of all fools for they are willing to die for nothing.
  • Odd as it may first appear, the macho character is the real weakling.

Anger Dealt With

  • I can overcome my anger by thinking and acting against my anger.
  • I can think and act against my anger by not letting my anger victimize me.

Related Book


Related Pages

  1. Control What You Can
  2. Control What You Choose to Feed
  3. Emotional Maturity 6 Levels
  4. Emotional Responsibility (ER): Diagram
  5. Fights Diagram: Ego Causes & Maintains Hurt & Anger
  6. Four Seconds Is All You Need to Relax

Quotations Various Sources

Organized Alphabetically

“A baby expects to be soothed, but a mature adult soothes themselves.” —Kevin Everett FitzMaurice 

“A man’s as miserable as he thinks he is.” —Marcus Seneca 

“A wise man will make more opportunities than he finds.” —Francis Bacon 

“Adults are expert at self-disturbance and inept at self-soothing.” —Kevin Everett FitzMaurice 

“Are you part of the problem or part of the solution?” —Anonymous 

“But let every man prove his own work, and then shall he have rejoicing in himself alone, and not in another.” —Galatians 6:4 

“Don’t go around saying the world owes you a living. The world owes you nothing. It was here first.” —Mark Twain 

“Either do not attempt at all, or go through with it.” —Ovid 

“God has entrusted me with myself.” —Epictetus 

“Great works are performed not by strength, but by perseverance.” —Samuel Johnson 

“If pleasure first, then pain second.” —Kevin Everett FitzMaurice 

“If we have not peace within ourselves, it is in vain to seek it from outward sources.” —Francois de La Rochefoucauld 

“It is not easy to find happiness in ourselves, and it is not possible to find it elsewhere.” —Agnes Repplier 

“Luck is where preparation meets opportunity.” —Anonymous 

“Man is condemned to be free; because once thrown into the world, he is responsible for everything he does.” —Jean-Paul Sartre, 1905-1980 

“No one has ever gotten to anyone.” —Kevin Everett FitzMaurice 

“Nothing stops the man who desires to achieve. Every obstacle is simply a course to develop his achievement muscle. It’s a strengthening of his powers of accomplishment.” —Eric Butterworth 

“Obstacles don’t have to stop you. If you run into a wall, don’t turn around and give up. Figure out how to climb it, go through it, or work around it.” —Michael Jordan 

“Pain is inevitable. Suffering is optional.” —Anonymous 

“Teaching the principle of emotional responsibility can be one of the hardest tasks in REBT as clients may have habitually blamed others for their problems and now the therapist is pointing to the true source of their emotional problems–themselves.” —Michael Neenan and Windy Dryden, Rational Emotive Behavior Therapy: Advances in Theory and Practice,  p. 43 

“The only disability in life is a bad attitude.” —Scott Hamilton 

“The willingness to accept responsibility for one’s own life is the source from which self-respect springs.” —Joan Didion 

“There is no man so low that the cure for his condition does not lie strictly within himself.” —Thomas L. Masson 

“Whatever may be, I am still largely the creator and ruler of my emotional destiny.” —Albert Ellis and Robert A. Harper, A Guide to Rational Living, Third Edition, p. 252 

“While they were saying among themselves it cannot be done, it was done.” —Helen Keller 

“Why is it that people are willing to take responsibility for their happiness or mild sadness but not their severe disturbance or great unhappiness?–why ego of course!” —Kevin Everett FitzMaurice

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