Trying Is Failing

TryFailExperimentMore3D: Daily DoseTry QuotationsRelated Pages6 Topic Groups9 Skills & Topics

Do You Try to Read This Or Do You Read This?

“The last thing that you want to hear your pilot say as you approach the airport is, ‘I will try and land the plane.'” —Kevin Everett FitzMaurice

“The search for happiness is one of the chief sources of unhappiness.” —Eric Hoffer

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you don't accept trying

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To Try Is to Plan to Fail

Why if we try must we fail?

  1. Because trying is not doing.
  2. Because trying is not winning.
  3. Because trying scripts you to fail.
  4. Because trying is lying to yourself.
  5. Because trying contains a built-in excuse.
  6. Because trying contains the seed of failure.
  7. Because trying contains the expectation of failure. Because trying is a self-fulfilling prophecy of failure.

Expressions that Say Trying 

  • There are many cop-out expressions that are similar to saying that you are going to try:

Words Saying You Will Try

at least, attempt, endeavor, get around to it, get to it, give it a chance, give it a try, give it my best, give it my best effort, make an effort, someday, sometime, take a chance, take a shot at it, take a stab at it, think about it, work at it, work on it.

After, Not Before

  • Sometimes the above sayings or ideas can make sense AFTER the act.
  • That is, it is okay to say AFTER the act that you gave it your best shot.
  • But to say so BEFORE the act is to plan to fail.

Attitudes, Judgments, & Thoughts that Indicate Trying

  • Trying can be caused by attitudes and judgments.
  • Trying can be the problem underneath attitudes and judgments.

Thoughts About Symptoms of Trying

being too tough on someone, demanding too much, distracted, failing under pressure, focusing on the past, forcing it, gave up, got the jitters, head not in the game, heard footsteps, jinxed it, just giving it away, lacks the will to win, lazy man’s load, looking ahead, multitasking, not enjoying the game, not focused, not hungry enough, not in the flow, not letting go, not motivated, not relaxing, not single-minded, not trying, over analyzing, overthinking, overworked it, panicked, pressuring too much, pushing too hard, stressing, taking too big a bite, thinking of what might have been, thinking too hard, too big a burden, too much effort, trying to do too much at once, trying too hard, wanting to do too much at once, wanting to make the big play, worrying too much.

  • Some of the above expressions and terms are blaming or damning and not helpful.
  • Instead, think of them to mean failure by trying, so that you switch out of trying to do and practicing failure.

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Right Way Is to Experiment If You Are Learning

Better to say:

  1. I will experiment with it.
  2. I will practice it.
  3. I will develop it.
  4. I will do it.
  5. I will do the bad less and the good more.
  6. I will lower the frequency, intensity, and duration of the negative.
  7. I will move closer to doing it right over time.
  8. I will move towards the goal.
  9. I will take it one step at a time.
  10. I will increase the frequency, intensity, and duration of the positive.
  11. I will study and wait until I understand more.
  12. I will seek counsel, guidance, and help to get it done right.

Practice Saying:

  • I will experiment with it.
  • I will practice it.
  • I will develop it.
  • I will move closer to it.

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Proof Trying Is Failing

  • Do you try to drive home at night or do you drive home?
  • Do you try and stand up when you get out of a chair or do you stand up?
  • Do you try and open your eyes, or do you open your eyes?
  • Do you try and talk, or do you just talk?

Your honest answers will prove to you that trying is very different from doing.

Trying Is Semantics

  • Yes, all uses of the word “try” are not wrong or foolish.
  • However, if you understand that humans are not robots, and whatever they do includes psychology, then you do not want to be using a word (try) that often proves to be self-defeating because of its psychological connotations (tried = failed).
  • Or, you can ignore human psychology and go with literal meanings from the dictionary and pretend that psychology and semantics do not matter.

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From “Daily Dose of Discernment: 2018” on Trying

#Try #Doing: 2018-03-24

  1. Trying is hard.
  2. Trying is difficult.
  3. Trying is impossible.
  4. Doing is natural.
  5. Doing is effortless.

From “Daily Dose of Discernment: 2019” on Trying

#Try #Doing: 2019-01-16

  1. Don’t try to do it—experiment with ways to do it.
  2. Don’t try to do it—do it one piece or step at a time.
  3. Don’t try to do it—move closer to or towards getting it done.
  4. Don’t try to do it—make progress doing it and getting it done.
  5. Don’t try to do it—develop, learn, and practice methods to do it.

From “Daily Dose of Discernment: 2020” on Trying

#Trying #Nondoing: 2020-01-09

  1. I have always failed to do.
  2. Whatever I try to do, I fail to do.
  3. I have failed at everything that I have tried to do.
  4. I try to do what I should do and do the wrong thing.
  5. All my successes have come when I was not trying to do anything.

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“Try” Quotations Various Sources

Listed Alphabetically

“Another way of viewing trying is seeing it as an urge associated with, but not necessarily leading to doing.” —Michael Neenan and Windy Dryden, Cognitive Behavioral Therapy: An A-Z of Persuasive Arguments, p. 143

“Do it.” —Nike advertisement slogan

“Don’t give it your best, give it your all.” —Kevin Everett FitzMaurice

“Don’t say, ‘I will try and do it,’ that’s one of the most evasive statements you can ever make. Either you do it, or you don’t do it—there is no trying, or doing your best.” —J. Krishnamurti, Meeting Life: Writings and Talks on Finding Your Path Without Retreating from Society, p. 127

“Don’t settle for your best; learn to do better.” —Kevin Everett FitzMaurice

“Don’t try—do it.” —Anonymous

“Either do not attempt at all, or go through with it.” —Ovid

“Lo, this only have I found, that God hath made man upright; but they have sought out many inventions.” —Ecclesiastes 7:29

“The only way to stop smoking is to just stop—no ifs, ands or butts.” —Edith Zittler

“Trying denies doing.” —Kevin Everett FitzMaurice

“Trying is wishing not acting.” —Kevin Everett FitzMaurice

“What do people say after they fail? ‘I tried.’ Therefore, to say ‘I’ll try’ before you start is to plan for failure.” —Kevin Everett FitzMaurice

“You can try to solve a problem forever.” —Kevin Everett FitzMaurice

“You can’t TRY to do things; you simply MUST do them.” —Ray Bradbury

“Your best is often poor from a lack of experience and training; hence, we don’t want your best–we want what you are capable of with coaching.” —Kevin Everett FitzMaurice

Responsibility Quotations Various Sources

Listed Alphabetically

“A baby expects to be soothed, but a mature adult soothes themselves.” —Kevin Everett FitzMaurice

“A man’s as miserable as he thinks he is.” —Marcus Seneca

“A wise man will make more opportunities than he finds.” —Francis Bacon

“Adults are experts at self-disturbance and inept at self-soothing.” —Kevin Everett FitzMaurice

“An excuse is a lie guarded.” —Jonathan Swift

“Are you part of the problem or part of the solution?” —Anonymous

“But let every man prove his own work, and then shall he have rejoicing in himself alone, and not in another.” —Galatians 6:4

“Destiny is the invention of the cowardly, and the resigned.” —Ignazio Silone

“Doing does, trying doesn’t.” —Kevin Everett FitzMaurice

“Don’t go around saying the world owes you a living. The world owes you nothing. It was here first.” —Mark Twain

“Don’t say ‘I’ll try,’ say ‘I’ll practice.'” —Kevin Everett FitzMaurice

“Each man the architect of his own fate.” —Sallust

“Either do not attempt at all, or go through with it.” —Ovid

“Great works are performed not by strength, but by perseverance.” —Samuel Johnson

“I like the man who faces what he must, / With steps triumphant and a heart of cheer; / Who fights the daily battle without fear.” —Sarah Knowles Bolton

“If pleasure first, then pain second.” —Kevin Everett FitzMaurice

“If we have not peace within ourselves, it is in vain to seek it from outward sources.” —Francois de La Rochefoucauld

“It is not easy to find happiness in ourselves, and it is not possible to find it elsewhere.” —Agnes Repplier

“It is not in the stars to hold our destiny but in ourselves.” —William Shakespeare

“Luck is where preparation meets opportunity.” —Anonymous

“Man is condemned to be free; because once thrown into the world, he is responsible for everything he does.” —Jean-Paul Sartre, 1905-1980

“Man must cease attributing his problems to his environment, and learn again to exercise his will—his personal responsibility in the realm of faith and morals.” —Albert Schweitzer

“Most folks are as happy as they make up their minds to be.” —Abraham Lincoln

“My philosophy is that not only are you responsible for your life, but doing the best at this moment puts you in the best place for the next moment.” —Oprah Winfrey

“No one has ever gotten to anyone.” —Kevin Everett FitzMaurice

“Nothing stops the man who desires to achieve. Every obstacle is simply a course to develop his achievement muscle. It’s a strengthening of his powers of accomplishment.” —Eric Butterworth

“Obstacles don’t have to stop you. If you run into a wall, don’t turn around and give up. Figure out how to climb it, go through it, or work around it.” —Michael Jordan

“Often, it is better not to say ‘I will try to stop it’ or ‘I will stop it’ because both will lead to failure. Instead, it is better to say I will do it less. This you can do with success.” —Kevin Everett FitzMaurice

“Pain is inevitable. Suffering is optional.” —Anonymous

“Some pursue happiness; others create it.” —Anonymous

“The ability to accept responsibility is the measure of the man.” —Roy Smith

“The only disability in life is a bad attitude.” —Scott Hamilton

“The U. S. Constitution doesn’t guarantee happiness, only the pursuit of it. You have to catch up with it yourself.” —Benjamin Franklin

“The willingness to accept responsibility for one’s own life is the source from which self-respect springs.” —Joan Didion

“There is no man so low that the cure for his condition does not lie strictly within himself.” —Thomas L. Masson

“We either make ourselves miserable, or we make ourselves strong. The amount of work is the same.” —Carlos Castenada

“What poison is to food, self-pity is to life.” —Oliver C. Wilson

“While they were saying among themselves it cannot be done, it was done.” —Helen Keller

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Trying Is Failing

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Trying Is Failing