Note: Victim Pride Is Victimhood

I am the ground my thoughts walk on.
My life force is the air my thoughts breathe.
My memory is the scenery my thoughts walk through.
My identity is the prize my thoughts battle for.
My role as perpetrator and victim is their battleground.

By denying I am the offender role I become the offender role.
By becoming the offender I become the victim for my victim who is now my offender.
By resisting the victim role I become the victim role.
By becoming the victim I become the offender for my offender who is now my victim.
By trying to keep from being a victim I become an offender.
By trying to keep from being an offender I become a victim.

Yet always thoughts steal my identity when I defend my self as perpetrator and justify my self as victim.
Yet always the one in power is the offender and the one without power the victim.
Yet always the struggle for fame and fortune is the struggle to be the offender.
Yet always to be right is to be the offender.
Yet always I can only play the game by being both roles.
Yet always I live for the pride of being an offender.
Yet always I live to avoid the shame of being a victim.
Yet always being a victim allows me to be an offender.

I am angry to stop being a victim.
I am anxious to prevent being a victim.
I am depressed when stuck being a victim.
I soon forget my self and care only to be justified in my battles.
I live as the knowledge of my roles among the dead.
I have forgotten self is only the place and space for thoughts and neither thoughts nor roles.

 See Also: Kevin’s Published Book of Poems