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3Rs Metatheory of Counseling

3Rs Switch Behaviors

3 Stages of Switching or Understanding the Counseling Process

  • Garden will teach you an easy and effective system of Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT & REBT).

“The secret of change is to focus all of your energy, not on fighting the old but on building the new.” —Dan Millman, Way of the Peaceful Warrior

“Align your focus with the solution and not the problem.” —Anonymous



3Rs of Counseling

The 3Rs of Counseling & Psychotherapy are:
Recognize, Remove, and Replace.


Stage I

  • You must recognize
  • the self-defeating habit.


Stage II

  • You must remove
  • the self-defeating habit.


Stage III

  • You must replace
  • the self-defeating habit.


  • You must RECOGNIZE

the self-defeating habit.

  • Therapeutic work at the first stage

concerns two kinds of movement:



no insight to cognitive

  • FROM denial TO intellectual understanding.
  • FROM no desire TO mental desire to change.


  1. Help increase understanding (insight) regarding the nature of the problem by exploring its consequences.
  2. Help increase desire (motivation) to get rid of the problem by increasing your understanding of practical solutions.
  3. Teach cognitive (thinking) skills, e.g., sorting, testing, accurate recall.
  4. Teach awareness and introspection skills so the client can learn to recognize the problem.


  • You must REMOVE

the self-defeating habit.

  • Therapeutic work at the second stage

concerns two kinds of movement:



cognitive insight

  • FROM thinking awareness TO feeling awareness.
  • FROM thinking desire TO emotional desire.


  1. Help increase emotional awareness of the impact of the problem by heartily disputing the thinking, feeling, and behaving that maintains the problem.
  2. Help increase emotional motivation to get rid of the problem by increasing emotional awareness of practical solutions.
  3. Teach emotional (feeling) skills, e.g., emotional responsibility.
  4. Teach meditation and detachment skills.


  • You must REPLACE

the self-defeating habit.

  • Therapeutic work at the third stage

concerns two kinds of movement:



emotional insight

  • FROM feeling awareness TO acting awareness.
  • FROM emotional desire TO acting desire.


  1. Help increase behavioral awareness of the impact of the problem by encouraging the client to persistently practice the new thinking, feeling, and behaving solutions.
  2. Help increase behavioral motivation to get rid of the problem by reinforcing and generalizing new behavioral successes.
  3. Teach behavioral and social skills, e.g., assertiveness.
  4. Teach motivation, endurance, and persistence skills.

Note on 3Rs

  • In some cases it is best to modify the 3Rs to be Recognize, Reduce, Replace. Clearly, there are some situations that the best that can be hoped for is a reduction of the negative and an increase in the positive.

3D: Daily Dose of Discernment: 2020

#Counseling #Plan: 2020-04-29

1. Your willingness to suffer the work to end a problem, instead of suffering the problem, must be verified or developed.

2. Your willingness to give up the problem’s payoffs, such as feelings of being better than others, is usually the first issue to work on.

3. Your relationship to your problem needs to change; for example, stop relating to the problem as an “it” that is plaguing you and, instead, relate to the problem as a bad habit that can be replaced by practicing a better habit.

4. Your problem with your problem, for example, your anxiety about your anxiety, is a crucial place for early work, else it might sabotage all your efforts to overcome the problem.

5. Once you have your plan, your intention to develop new feeling, thinking, and behaving habits through continual practice must be steadfast.

Related Pages

  1. 3Rs: Recognize, Remove & Replace Problems
  2. CBT, CT & REBT Cognitive Psychotherapies: List of Pages
  3. Counseling Issues: 3 Treatment Goals
  4. Counseling Issues: 35 Stages of Switching
  5. Counseling Issues: Change: Is it Possible?
  6. Counseling Issues: Dental Analogy of Counseling (3Rs)
  7. Counseling Issues: Garden Your Mind: 3Rs
  8. Rational Emotive Behavior Therapy (REBT): List of Pages
  9. Responsibility Issues: Shoelaces Parable on Responsibility

Quotations from Various Sources

Organized Alphabetically

“A fool is only a fool because he won’t see he is a fool.” —Kevin Everett FitzMaurice 

“A fool remains a fool because he won’t see he is a fool.” —Kevin Everett FitzMaurice 

“A man of genius makes no mistakes. His errors are volitional and are the portals of discovery.” —James Joyce 

“But if ye be without chastisement, whereof all are partakers, then are ye bastards, and not sons.” —Hebrews 12:8 

“By honestly acknowledging your past errors, but never damning yourself for them, you can learn to use your past for your own future benefit.” —Albert Ellis and Robert A. Harper, A Guide to Rational Living, Third Edition, p. 194  

“Correction is grievous unto him that forsaketh the way: and he that hateth reproof shall die.” —Proverbs 15:5 

“Failure doesn’t have anything to do with your intrinsic value as a person.” —Albert Ellis and Robert A. Harper, A Guide to Rational Living, Third Edition, p. 206 

“For whom the Lord loveth he chasteneth, and scourgeth every son whom he receiveth.” —Hebrews 12:6 

“If we eliminated all errors, we would also eliminate much discovery, art, insight, learning, and creativity that results from facing errors.” —Kevin Everett FitzMaurice 

“If ye endure chastening, God dealeth with you as with sons; for what son is he whom the father chasteneth not?” —Hebrews 12:7 

“My son, despise not the chastening of the LORD; neither be weary of his correction:” —Proverbs 3:11 

“The great man is he who does not lose his child-heart.” —Mencius 

“The greatest explorer on this earth never takes voyages as long as those of the man who descends to the depth of his heart.” —Julien Green 

“The trouble with most of us is that we would rather be ruined by praise than saved by criticism.” —Norman Vincent Peale 

“When receiving correction, the wise seeks to learn and the fool seeks to justify with excuses.” —Kevin Everett FitzMaurice 

Quotations from Scripture on Counseling

“A wise man will hear, and will increase learning; and a man of understanding shall attain unto wise counsels:” —Proverbs 1:5 

“Where no counsel is, the people fall: but in the multitude of counselors there is safety.” —Proverbs 11:14 

“The way of a fool is right in his own eyes: but he that hearkeneth unto counsel is wise.” —Proverbs 12:15 

“Deceit is in the heart of them that imagine evil: but to the counselors of peace is joy.” —Proverbs 12:20 

“Without counsel purposes are disappointed: but in the multitude of counselors they are established.” —Proverbs 15:22 

“Hear counsel, and receive instruction, that thou mayest be wise in thy latter end.” —Proverbs 19:20 

“Every purpose is established by counsel: and with good advice make war.” —Proverbs 20:18 

“Take counsel, execute judgment; make thy shadow as the night in the midst of the noonday; hide the outcasts; bewray not him that wandereth.” —Isaiah 16:3 

“Extol not thyself in the counsel of thine own heart; that thy soul be not torn in pieces as a bull [straying alone.]” —Ecclesiasticus 6:2 

“As timber girt and bound together in a building cannot be loosed with shaking: so the heart that is stablished by advised counsel shall fear at no time.” —Ecclesiasticus 22:16 

“Give not over thy mind to heaviness, and afflict not thyself in thine own counsel.” —Ecclesiasticus 30:21 

“A man of counsel will be considerate; but a strange and proud man is not daunted with fear, even when of himself he hath done without counsel.” —Ecclesiasticus 32:18 

“And let the counsel of thine own heart stand: for there is no man more faithful unto thee than it.” —Ecclesiasticus 37:13 

“Let reason go before every enterprize, and counsel before every action.” —Ecclesiasticus 38:33 

“Gold and silver make the foot stand sure: but counsel is esteemed above them both.” —Ecclesiasticus 40:25