Choose to Respond Well
- The Secret of Maturity, Third Edition for 99¢ will teach you how to own the power of emotional responsibility.
- Click for diagrams and maps of how people control you.
- You alone are responsible for your responses whether your responses are emotional, mental, or behavioral.
- If anyone else is responsible for your responses, then you are no more than a puppet, a robot, a figment of their imagination, or a fantasy.
- Do you claim to exist? Do you claim to be real?
- Then you must take responsibility for all of your own feeling, thinking, and acting responses.
Is Wining Working?
- When you whine about all of your troubles.
- You are really giving us reasons why you think you have the right to respond badly.
- Sorry for your blame game, but your responses are always your choice, your responsibility.
When you whine about all of your troubles.
You are really giving us reasons why you think you have the right to feel bad, to eat crap, and make yourself feel bad.
- Sorry for your whining, but eating crap is optional no matter how much you are served.
- When you complain about your spouse and insist that they must change their responses so you can change yours.
- You are really telling us that you are a pathetic reflection of them who has no responsibility or control over their responses.
Take & Don’t Take Responsibility
- When others try to make you responsible for their poor responses because of your poor responses—never accept it.
- Yes, take responsibility for your own poor responses—but never theirs.
- Rather, help them to problem-solve and cope with their own responses independently of your responses.
Quotations from Various Sources
“A baby expects to be soothed, but a mature adult soothes themselves.” —Kevin Everett FitzMaurice
“A man’s as miserable as he thinks he is.” —Marcus Seneca
“A wise man will make more opportunities than he finds.” —Francis Bacon
“Adults are expert at self-disturbance and inept at self-soothing.” —Kevin Everett FitzMaurice
“An excuse is a lie guarded.” —Jonathan Swift
“Are you part of the problem or part of the solution?” —Anonymous
“Be ye angry, and sin not: let not the sun go down upon your wrath:” —Ephesians 4:26
“But let every man prove his own work, and then shall he have rejoicing in himself alone, and not in another.” —Galatians 6:4
“Don’t go around saying the world owes you a living. The world owes you nothing. It was here first.” —Mark Twain
“Each man the architect of his own fate.” —Sallust
“Either do not attempt at all, or go through with it.” —Ovid
“God has entrusted me with myself.” —Epictetus
“Great works are performed not by strength, but by perseverance.” —Samuel Johnson
“He that hath no rule over his own spirit is like a city that is broken down, and without walls.” —Proverbs 25:28
“I tried to change the world and failed. I changed myself and the whole world changed too!” —Author unknown
“If pleasure first, then pain second.” —Kevin Everett FitzMaurice
“If we have not peace within ourselves, it is in vain to seek it from outward sources.” —Francois de La Rochefoucauld
“It is not easy to find happiness in ourselves, and it is not possible to find it elsewhere.” —Agnes Repplier
“It is not in the stars to hold our destiny but in ourselves.” —William Shakespeare
“Life always gets harder towards the summit–the cold increases, responsibility increases.” —Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche, 1844-1900
“Luck is where preparation meets opportunity.” —Anonymous
“Man is condemned to be free; because once thrown into the world, he is responsible for everything he does.” —Jean-Paul Sartre, 1905-1980
“Man must cease attributing his problems to his environment, and learn again to exercise his will–his personal responsibility in the realm of faith and morals.” —Albert Schweitzer
“Most folks are as happy as they make up their minds to be.” —Abraham Lincoln
“My philosophy is that not only are you responsible for your life, but doing the best at this moment puts you in the best place for the next moment.” —Oprah Winfrey
“No one has ever gotten to anyone.” —Kevin Everett FitzMaurice
“Nobody can bring you peace but yourself.” —Ralph Waldo Emerson
“Nothing stops the man who desires to achieve. Every obstacle is simply a course to develop his achievement muscle. It’s a strengthening of his powers of accomplishment.” —Eric Butterworth
“Obstacles don’t have to stop you. If you run into a wall, don’t turn around and give up. Figure out how to climb it, go through it, or work around it.” —Michael Jordan
“Pain is inevitable. Suffering is optional.” —Anonymous
“Some pursue happiness, others create it.” —Anonymous
“Teaching the principle of emotional responsibility can be one of the hardest tasks in REBT as clients may have habitually blamed others for their problems and now the therapist is pointing to the true source of their emotional problems–themselves.” —Michael Neenan and Windy Dryden, Rational Emotive Behavior Therapy: Advances in Theory and Practice, p. 43
“The ability to accept responsibility is the measure of the man.” —Roy Smith
“The more you are willing to accept responsibility for your actions, the more credibility you will have.” —Brian Koslow
“The only disability in life is a bad attitude.” —Scott Hamilton
“The U. S. Constitution doesn’t guarantee happiness, only the pursuit of it. You have to catch up with it yourself.” —Benjamin Franklin
“The willingness to accept responsibility for one’s own life is the source from which self-respect springs.” —Joan Didion
“There is no man so low that the cure for his condition does not lie strictly within himself.” —Thomas L. Masson
“We either make ourselves miserable, or we make ourselves strong. The amount of work is the same.” —Carlos Castenada
“What poison is to food, self-pity is to life.” —Oliver C. Wilson
“Whatever may be, I am still largely the creator and ruler of my emotional destiny.” —Albert Ellis and Robert A. Harper, A Guide to Rational Living, Third Edition, p. 252.
“While they were saying among themselves it cannot be done, it was done.” —Helen Keller
“Why is it that people are willing to take responsibility for their happiness or mild sadness but not their severe disturbance or great
unhappiness?—why ego of course!” —Kevin Everett FitzMaurice