7 Questions for a Better Life

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Questions to Improve Your Life

  • Garden will teach you an easy and effective system of Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT & REBT).

  • Read for diagrams and maps of how people play games with your mind and heart.


  • You can wake yourself up with the right questions.

1. What do I think about that (an event, problem, or situation)?

  • Be honest about your attitude and interpretation of what happened.

2. How does thinking that way lead me to feel?

  • Understand how thinking that about it way affects your feelings about it.

3. Feeling that way—what do I want?

  • Learn that your feelings guide your choices even if you pretend otherwise.

4. If what I want is not to feel that way, then am I willing to change my thinking to change my feeling?

  • Or am I stuck because I need the bad feeling or pain to or for—

act out, avoid, claim to know better, demand, ego satisfaction, emotional blackmail, escape, feel superior, get rescued, hide behind a mask, hide behind phoniness, keep the drama going, keep power over others, maintain pride, manipulate, motivate revenge, pride, procrastinate, quit, sell out, stay slippery, stay lazy, sympathy, or some other payoff?

  • Or am I stuck because I am so identified with the feeling, pain, or problem that I’ll lose my identity or sense of self if I surrender it?
  • Do I need it more than it needs me?

5. What do I do about the way I feel?

  • What am I sacrificing to do that?
  • Is doing it worth the sacrifice?

6. If feeling that way is healthy for me, then what work am I willing to do to get what I want?

  • Will I problem-solve and work on a solution or just lazily whine, blame, and damn?
  • How responsible for my life do I want to be?

7. What will I do to cope if work won’t get me what I want?

  • Will I accept it peacefully or whine, blame, and damn until I make it worse and get myself more problems and conflicts?
  • Will I move on if I can’t fix it?
  • Is spending my time and energy on what I can fix better than whining about what I cannot fix?

Challenge Yourself to Live Better

  • Click for a page on motivating questions.

7 Questions for a Better Life