The Right Kind of Questions Make a Difference
- Garden will teach you an easy and effective system of Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT & REBT).
“If you want to live a happy life, tie it to a goal, not to people or things.” —Albert Einstein
- What am I willing to do right now to improve my life?
What am I willing to do with the resources that I have right now (current living conditions, current finances, current relationships, current education, current employment, etc.) to improve my life right now?
What things, of all the things that I already know that it would be wise to do (eat better, sleep better, exercise more, manage my finances better, curb my spending, listen more, act kinder, practice acceptance, pray more, etc.), am I willing to do right now?
- What is in the way of my choosing to make these improvements?
- What am I willing to do right now to remove the obstacles to my success and happiness?
- Who and what am I willing to use right now to help and support me in my positive thinking, feeling, and behavioral changes?
- How can I use my negative emotions and/or stress to do better instead of worse?
- What am I thinking or doing to maintain the problems?
- What thinking is preventing me from taking corrective action?
- What thinking is preventing me from coping with the situation?
- What thinking do I need to change to do better?
- What needs to change in me so that I can either problem-solve or cope better?
- What could I tell myself to do better?
- What negative evaluations am I making that are making the problem?
- What am I sacrificing in order to keep the problem and is it worth it?
While life is not some magical school that creates problems for me to learn from, I will choose to use my challenges to develop my character, coping skills, and problem-solving skills.
- How is your negative attitude supposed to either help or correct their negative attitude?
- Do you feel that because you think it or because you experience it? Do you know the difference? How?
- Would you want to repeat your life over and over again for eternity? If not, then why not?
- Are you as keenly aware of what is there as you are of what is not there?
- How do you relate to your experience? From what role? For instance, do you relate as a victim? If you relate as a victim, then why should life not relate back to you as a victim?
How do I want to view this? Do I want to see it as an opportunity or challenge or as a defeat and proof of my inability to succeed?
What reality do I want to focus on? What reality do I want to magnify? Will I focus on what is right or what is wrong? While you cannot create any reality, you can help to increase positive or negative realities by focusing on them, by amplifying them, by serving them.
- 3Ps of Motivation
- 5 Styles for Standards & Quality
- 6 Step Cycle of Motivation
- 7 Questions to Ask Yourself
- Garden Your Mind
- Questions to Ask Yourself
- Relate to Experience: How do you?
- Stimulation As Motivation
- Will: The 7 Options for What to Will
Quotations from Various Sources
“A fool is only a fool because he won’t see he is a fool.” —Kevin Everett FitzMaurice
“A man of genius makes no mistakes. His errors are volitional and are the portals of discovery.” —James Joyce
“Advice is what we ask for when we already know the answer but wish we didn’t.” —Erica Jong
“But if ye be without chastisement, whereof all are partakers, then are ye bastards, and not sons.” —Hebrews 12:8
“By honestly acknowledging your past errors, but never damning yourself for them, you can learn to use your past for your own future benefit.” —Albert Ellis and Robert A. Harper,A Guide to Rational Living, Third Edition, p. 194
“Correction is grievous unto him that forsaketh the way: and he that hateth reproof shall die.” —Proverbs 15:5
“Every man without passions has within him no principle of action, nor motive to act.” —Claude Helvetius
“Failure doesn’t have anything to do with your intrinsic value as a person.” —Albert Ellis and Robert A. Harper, A Guide to Rational Living, Third Edition, p. 206
“For whom the Lord loveth he chasteneth, and scourgeth every son whom he receiveth.” —Hebrews 12:6
“If we eliminated all errors, we would also eliminate much discovery, art, insight, learning, and creativity that results from facing errors.” —Kevin Everett FitzMaurice
“If ye endure chastening, God dealeth with you as with sons; for what son is he whom the father chasteneth not?” —Hebrews 12:7
“My son, despise not the chastening of the LORD; neither be weary of his correction:” —Proverbs 3:11
“No one wants advice–only corroboration.” —John Steinbeck
“Some people like my advice so much that they frame it upon the wall instead of using it.” —Gordon R. Dickson
“The great pleasure in life is doing what people say you cannot do.” —Walter Bagehot
“The happiest excitement in life is to be convinced that one is fighting for all one is worth on behalf of some clearly seen and deeply felt good.” —Ruth Benedict
“The trouble with most of us is that we would rather be ruined by praise than saved by criticism.” —Norman Vincent Peale
“When receiving correction, the wise seeks to learn and the fool seeks to justify with excuses.” —Kevin Everett FitzMaurice
Quotations from Scripture on Counseling
“A wise man will hear, and will increase learning; and a man of understanding shall attain unto wise counsels:” —Proverbs 1:5
“Where no counsel is, the people fall: but in the multitude of counselors there is safety.” —Proverbs 11:14
“The way of a fool is right in his own eyes: but he that hearkeneth unto counsel is wise.” —Proverbs 12:15
“Deceit is in the heart of them that imagine evil: but to the counselors of peace is joy.” —Proverbs 12:20
“Without counsel purposes are disappointed: but in the multitude of counselors they are established.” —Proverbs 15:22
“Hear counsel, and receive instruction, that thou mayest be wise in thy latter end.” —Proverbs 19:20
“Every purpose is established by counsel: and with good advice make war.” —Proverbs 20:18
“Take counsel, execute judgment; make thy shadow as the night in the midst of the noonday; hide the outcasts; bewray not him that wandereth.” —Isaiah 16:3
“Extol not thyself in the counsel of thine own heart; that thy soul be not torn in pieces as a bull [straying alone.]” —Ecclesiasticus 6:2
“As timber girt and bound together in a building cannot be loosed with shaking: so the heart that is stablished by advised counsel shall fear at no time.” —Ecclesiasticus 22:16
“Give not over thy mind to heaviness, and afflict not thyself in thine own counsel.” —Ecclesiasticus 30:21
“A man of counsel will be considerate; but a strange and proud man is not daunted with fear, even when of himself he hath done without counsel.” —Ecclesiasticus 32:18
“And let the counsel of thine own heart stand: for there is no man more faithful unto thee than it.” —Ecclesiasticus 37:13
“Let reason go before every enterprise, and counsel before every action.” —Ecclesiasticus 38:33
“Gold and silver make the foot stand sure: but counsel is esteemed above them both.” —Ecclesiasticus 40:25