The ABCs of Neurosis
- Garden will teach you an easy and effective system of Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT & REBT).
9 CAUSES OF EVERYDAY NEUROSIS
- Technically, these are 9 symptoms, because the cause of these symptoms can be found in ego or self-esteem issues.
- To attach to something or someone is to give your identity to a concept or image of that person, place, or thing.
- When your identity is attached to something or someone, then your lizard brain will be activated in order to protect that person, place, or thing.
- Attachment leads to primitive responses.
- Primitive responses lead to bad outcomes.
- Bad outcomes lead to more problems and more bad outcomes.
- To blame is to deny responsibility.
- To deny responsibility is to deny your own power.
- To deny your own power is to make yourself into a victim.
- To play the victim role well, you must be helpless and hopeless.
- Anyone who is helpless and hopeless will have either a horrible or a lousy life.
- To claim is to take credit.
- To take credit is to attribute to self abilities and powers that one can at best only host and serve, not be.
- Attributing abilities and powers to oneself denies the possibility of serving them while they are being claimed.
- Attributing abilities and powers to oneself separates oneself from God.
- Attributing abilities and powers to oneself feeds one’s ego and self-esteem.
- Ego and self-esteem cause relational difficulties across the board.
- To damn is to demonize.
- To demonize is to hate.
- To hate is to claim superiority over that which you hate.
- To claim superiority is to lose contact with both your humanity and spirituality.
- Superiority is the problem, not the solution.
- To demand is to assume control and power that you usually do not have.
- To demand is to act like a brat who has not yet learned that the world does not exist to serve his or her whims.
- To demand is to be unrealistic about the nature of society and things.
- To demand is not to understand the nature of self or life.
- To expect is to predict.
- To predict is to be disappointed.
- To be disappointed requires relief.
- Relief is often found through blaming, damning, demanding, whining, and worrying.
- Blaming, damning, demanding, whining, and worrying consistently make problems worse, not better.
- To try is to predict failure.
- To try is to intend failure.
- To try is to assume failure.
- To try is to give up before you start.
- To whine is to want mother to fix it.
- To whine is to give up all responsibility.
- To whine is not to exercise problem-solving.
- To whine is not to exercise coping.
- To whine is to wish to remain a brat.
- To worry is to waste energy and time.
- To worry is to pray negatively.
- To worry is to predict failure.
- To worry is to attract the negative by focusing on the negative.
- 5 Thinking Positions
- 7 Thinking Errors of CT
- Both-And Skill
- Limitations of Thought
- REBT’s 11 Irrational Beliefs
- Shit Happens, Deal With It
- Test Your Thinking
Quotations from Various Sources
“A man doesn’t know what he knows until he knows what he doesn’t know.” —Laurence Peter
“All success comes from a combination of implementation and knowledge. Knowledge alone is meaningless without action.” —Brian Koslow
“Did you ever stop to think, and forget to start again?” —A. L. Milne (Winnie the Pooh)
“Education is learning what you didn’t know you didn’t know.” —George Boas
“Energy will do anything that can be done in this world.” —Johann Wolfgang von Goethe
“Every man takes the limits of his own field of vision for the limits of the world.” —Arthur Schopenhauer, 1788-1860
“Facts are not truths; they are not conclusions; they are not even premises, but in the nature and parts of premises.” —Samuel Taylor Coleridge
“Facts can’t feel.” —Kevin Everett FitzMaurice
“Facts can’t figure.” —Kevin Everett FitzMaurice
“Facts can’t fix.” —Kevin Everett FitzMaurice
“Few of the many wise apothegms which have been uttered have prevented a single foolish action.” —Thomas B. Macaulay
“I haven’t understood a bar of music in my life, but I have felt it.” —Igor Stravinsky
“I’ll play it first and tell you what it is later.” —Miles Davis
“I’m not sure I want popular opinion on my side–I’ve noticed those with the most opinions often have the fewest facts.” —Bethania McKenstry
“If fifty million people say a foolish thing, it is still a foolish thing.” —Anatole France
“Imagination and fiction make up more than three-quarters of our real life.” —Simone Weil
“It’s [music composition] the most effortless thing in the world because you don’t do anything. I hate to say it like that, but it’s the truth.” —Michael Jackson
“Knowledge can be communicated but not wisdom.” —Herman Hesse, 1877-1962
“Knowledge does not do.” —Kevin Everett FitzMaurice
“Knowledge does not get it.” —Kevin Everett FitzMaurice
“Knowledge has no intelligence.” —Kevin Everett FitzMaurice
“Knowledge is not it.” —Kevin Everett FitzMaurice
“Living is a form of not being sure, not knowing what next or how. The moment you know how, you begin to die a little.” —Agnes de Mille
“Most thinking problems come from crossing, mixing, or trying to make two signals into one.” —Kevin Everett FitzMaurice
“Most thinking problems come from crossing, mixing, or trying to be on two channels at the same time.” —Kevin Everett FitzMaurice
“Not everything that can be counted counts, and not everything that counts can be counted.” —Albert Einstein (reported to have been a sign in his office)
“Nothing reaches the intellect before making its appearance in the senses.” —Latin proverb
“Nothing that is worth knowing can be taught.” —Oscar Wilde, 1854-1900
“Often the hands will solve a mystery that the intellect has struggled with in vain.” —Carl G. Jung
“Real knowledge is to know the extent of one’s ignorance.” —Confucius
“Scientist is the term given to the kind of fool who tries to prove matter over mind.” —Kevin Everett FitzMaurice
“Surely love has nothing to do with the mind, it is not the product of the mind; love is entirely independent of calculation, of thought.” —J. Krishnamurti, The Collected Works of J. Krishnamurti, Volume V, p. 99
“The field of consciousness is tiny. It accepts only one problem at a time.” —Antoine de Saint-Exupery
“The great man is he who does not lose his child-heart.” —Mencius
“The intellect is not the means of creation, and creation does not take place through the functioning of the intellect; on the contrary, there is creation when the intellect is silent.” —J. Krishnamurti, The Collected Works of J. Krishnamurti, Volume V, p. 97
“The world is governed more by appearance than realities so that it is fully as necessary to seem to know something as to know it.” —Daniel Webster
“The worst extreme view is the extreme view that extremes never exist.” —Kevin Everett FitzMaurice
“There are no rules. Just follow your heart.” —Robin Williams
“To be absolutely certain about something, one must know everything, or nothing, about it.” —Olin Miller
“To think too long about doing a thing often becomes its undoing.” —Eva Young
“We can be absolutely certain only about things we do not understand.” —Eric Hoffer
“We never do anything well until we cease to think about the manner of doing it.” —William Hazlitt, 1778-1830
“What we see depends mainly on what we look for.” —John Lubbock
“When words leave off, music begins.” —Heinrich Heine
“You can’t depend on your eyes when your imagination is out of focus.” —Mark Twain
“You cannot plough a field by turning it over in your mind.” —Anonymous
“You cannot think and hit at the same time.” —Yogi Berra