Object Relations & Self-Esteem

Object RelationsObject Relations3D: Daily DoseMore 3D: Daily DoseVariations of RelationsRelated Pages6 Topic Groups9 Skills & Topics

Object Relations Is the Study of Ego


Object Relations is the examination of how your self-esteem objects (self-concepts, self-images) of yourself and others relate to each other. Object Relations is about how your ego (self-esteem) copes with life. Like any psychodynamic theory, the point of Object Relations is to appease pride and avoid or reduce shame.


  • Self-Esteem Is Ego Promotion, Not Self Understanding
  • Ego will help you to recognize, remove, and replace your ego: a.k.a. self-esteem.

  • Read and discover the best journaling system to reduce and remove your ego.

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  • Read and discover how CBT, REBT, & Stoicism evolved into one system: STPHFR.

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Choose Your Paths to Be Rid of Ego

  • We have explored the problems of ego as: addictions, attachment, being, becoming, claiming, conditioning, detachment, doing, games, identity issues, internal conflicts, knowing, living vs. dying, nondoing, object relations, objectifying, peace, pride and shame, psychological problems, scripts, self-esteem, self-story, self-talk, somebodies, space and emptiness, spiritual problems, suffering, surrender, things as people, thought-things, trying, and in various other ways.
  • We have used Christianity, Eastern Psychology, Existentialism, General Semantics, Object Relations, Psychoanalysis, Rational Emotive Behavior Therapy (REBT), and Taoism to expose ego as the center of problems.
  • However, you need to find the ways that work best for you.
  • This page takes on the psychodynamic theory of Object Relations as just a form of ego appeasement and shame avoidance.

3D: Daily Dose of Discernment: 2021

Objects Drive Psychological Complexes: 10-08-2021

  1. “A psychological complex exists because it is an opportunity to claim to be multiple objects.” —Kevin Everett FitzMaurice
  2. “A psychological complex exists because it is an opportunity for stimulation from multiple sources.” —Kevin Everett FitzMaurice
  3. “Psychological complexes serve the ego by increasing the time and energy given to it.” —Kevin Everett FitzMaurice
  4. “Psychological complexes serve the ego by increasing the self-talk debates about what objects and things you are.” —Kevin Everett FitzMaurice
  5. “If you want to overcome your psychological complexes, then overcome your ego, and they will be dissolved as a side effect.” —Kevin Everett FitzMaurice

Objects Cannot Control Life: 10-09-2021

  1. “We try to control ourselves by controlling our objects (self-constructions), but this only feeds the ego and wastes our time and energy.” —Kevin Everett FitzMaurice
  2. “We try to control others by controlling our objects (self-esteem characterizations) about them, but this only feeds the ego and wastes our time and energy.” —Kevin Everett FitzMaurice
  3. “We try to control life by controlling our objects (thought-things, reified thoughts, concretized thoughts) about life, but this only feeds the ego and wastes our time and energy.” —Kevin Everett FitzMaurice
  4. “One of the principles for having wisdom in life is to control what you can control and not try to control what you cannot control; however, we prefer to busy ourselves with objects about life rather than life itself.” —Kevin Everett FitzMaurice
  5. “We love our fantasies more than we love life because we cling to our delusions about having magical power over ourselves, others, and life through controlling our objects (thought-things, self-concepts, self-images, other-concepts, other-images, life-concepts, life-images) about them.” —Kevin Everett FitzMaurice

Object Relations Are Fantasy Relations: 10-10-2021

  1. “Your self-esteem objects (self-concepts, self-images) have relationships with the self-esteem objects you have of others, society, and life.” —Kevin Everett FitzMaurice
  2. “How are your self-esteem objects getting along with the objects you have for family and friends? Any conflicts, revenge fantasies, or competitions going on?” —Kevin Everett FitzMaurice
  3. “How are your self-esteem objects getting along with the objects that you have for culture, society, and life? Any victimhood whining, blaming, and damning going on?” —Kevin Everett FitzMaurice
  4. “Isn’t it interesting that you worry about relationships that don’t and cannot exist because people, society, and life can never be reduced to objects except by mad scientists.” —Kevin Everett FitzMaurice
  5. “Wouldn’t it be nice if you made contact as a being to other beings and the Energy sustaining life? Good thing objects cannot do that.” —Kevin Everett FitzMaurice

Go Beyond Object Relations: 10-11-2021

  1. “Go beyond the good and evil of the objects that self-esteem pretends we are.” —Kevin Everett FitzMaurice
  2. “Objects cannot cure objects.” —Kevin Everett FitzMaurice
  3. “Objects cannot save you from objects.” —Kevin Everett FitzMaurice
  4. “Objects cannot change or control objects.” —Kevin Everett FitzMaurice
  5. “Switch from objects to being nobody and nothing; yes, nobody and nothing because that is what a host is, and you are a host, not objects.” —Kevin Everett FitzMaurice

Object Relations Slavery: 10-12-2021

  1. “When are you going to break your chains and rise up against your masters—the objects that bind you?” —Kevin Everett FitzMaurice
  2. “Have you had your fill of slavery to objects that are always on the take and never provide you with anything worthwhile or lasting?” —Kevin Everett FitzMaurice
  3. “Isn’t it objects who make your life and relationships difficult?” —Kevin Everett FitzMaurice
  4. “Isn’t it objects who make your coping and problem-solving difficult?” —Kevin Everett FitzMaurice
  5. “Stand up to your masters and demand your freedom. Choose to be nobody again today.” —Kevin Everett FitzMaurice

  • Read and discover how CBT, REBT, & Stoicism evolved into one system: STPHFR.

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3D: Daily Dose of Discernment: 2021

Revolt Against the Tyranny of Object Relations: 10-13-2021

  1. “The only real revolution is the revolution against all object relations.” —Kevin Everett FitzMaurice
  2. “Revolution should produce freedom, not slavery to a different ordering of object relations.” —Kevin Everett FitzMaurice
  3. “All human systems are run by object relations, which is why revolutions nearly always fail to make deep systemic changes.” —Kevin Everett FitzMaurice
  4. “You can revolt against all kinds of institutions and systems, but until you revolt against all object relations, nothing will change fundamentally.” —Kevin Everett FitzMaurice
  5. “You say you want change, but usually you only want to change the object relations in your favor, in which case, you are part of the problem, not the solution.” —Kevin Everett FitzMaurice

Objects Corrupt Desire: 10-14-2021

  1. “Desire based on sensations without objects is rarely a problem.” —Kevin Everett FitzMaurice
  2. “Desire based on objects is rarely not a problem.” —Kevin Everett FitzMaurice
  3. “Desire based only on sensations is typically easy to manage.” —Kevin Everett FitzMaurice
  4. “Desire based mainly on objects is inherently difficult to manage.” —Kevin Everett FitzMaurice
  5. “Gain awareness of when desire is based only on sensations and when desire includes objects because then you will gain insight into how objects control and mislead you.” —Kevin Everett FitzMaurice

Objects Corrupt Pleasure & Pain: 10-15-2021

  1. “Pleasure and pain based on sensations are often helpful and even necessary to your survival.” —Kevin Everett FitzMaurice
  2. “Pleasure and pain based on objects (self-constructions) are often harmful and sometimes threaten your survival.” —Kevin Everett FitzMaurice
  3. “Pleasure and pain based on objects make objects the masters of your life.” —Kevin Everett FitzMaurice
  4. “Pleasure and pain based on objects often leads to covetousness, jealousy, rage, and violence regarding the control of the objects.” —Kevin Everett FitzMaurice
  5. “Pleasure and pain based on objects leads to confusions, delusions, and distortions because the objects are mental and not real being only projected onto or over real people, places, and things.” —Kevin Everett FitzMaurice

Fear & Anger Objects Haunt Us: 10-16-2021

  1. “Fear will turn into anger when fear cannot be satiated because it demands objects not exist that do not exist except in the mind.” —Kevin Everett FitzMaurice
  2. “Anger will turn into fear when anger cannot be satiated because it demands that objects not exist that do not exist except in fantasy.” —Kevin Everett FitzMaurice
  3. “Fear and anger will cycle between themselves when you are stuck on them as objects about something.” —Kevin Everett FitzMaurice
  4. “Fear and anger have their proper time and place, but that is neither in relation to objects nor to themselves as objects.” —Kevin Everett FitzMaurice
  5. “Deconstruct your fear and anger by detaching them from all objects because then they will serve you, instead of you them.” —Kevin Everett FitzMaurice

Objects Are Center of Wrong: 10-17-2021

  1. “What are you stuck on, if not objects? Dispute and divorce objects and become unstuck.” —Kevin Everett FitzMaurice
  2. “What chains bind you that are not composed of objects? Deny objects for sensations and blocks will flee.” —Kevin Everett FitzMaurice
  3. “What are your mental blocks made of, if not objects? Discard objects for sensations, and your blocks will be gone.” —Kevin Everett FitzMaurice
  4. “What problems stick with you that are not formed of objects? Deconstruct problems until no objects remain, and their solutions will become clear.” —Kevin Everett FitzMaurice
  5. “Why are objects always at the source of what is wrong? Because objects are things of death, not the Energy of life.” —Kevin Everett FitzMaurice

  • Read and discover how CBT, REBT, & Stoicism evolved into one system: STPHFR.

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3D: Daily Dose of Discernment: 2021

Why Take Random Objects Seriously?: 10-18-2021

  1. “Why do you serve the object that you serve and not others? Is it all just accident and conditioning?” —Kevin Everett FitzMaurice
  2. “Why satisfy one object as you, and not another one? Are you just a random thing brought about by happenstance?” —Kevin Everett FitzMaurice
  3. “Why did that object get thrust upon you when there are so many available? Why take it so seriously despite it being so haphazard?” —Kevin Everett FitzMaurice
  4. “You fight for and protect objects as if they were you when they are only stealing your time and life force for themselves. Why can’t you see the obvious?” —Kevin Everett FitzMaurice
  5. “Why can’t you object to being objects? Why do you let education, media, parenting, social media, socialization, and submission to corporations and governments decide your fate as objects to be consumed?” —Kevin Everett FitzMaurice

The Object of the Game Is Destruction: 10-19-2021

  1. “When you play the game where your attached object is bad, and its opposite is good, then you are easily lost in the game of making the good object appear bad to feel superior to it.” —Kevin Everett FitzMaurice
  2. “When you play the game where your attached object is bad, and its opposite is good, then you are easily lost in the game of rebelling against the good object to feel superior to it.” —Kevin Everett FitzMaurice
  3. “When you play the game where your attached object is bad, and its opposite is good, then you are easily lost in the game of resisting the good object to feel superior to it.” —Kevin Everett FitzMaurice
  4. “When you play the game where your attached object is bad, and its opposite is good, then you are easily lost in the game of avoiding and escaping the good object in order to avoid feeling inferior.” —Kevin Everett FitzMaurice
  5. “When you play the game where your attached object is bad, and its opposite is good, then you are easily lost in the game of trying to become the good object to feel superior to the bad.” —Kevin Everett FitzMaurice

Game Object Is Pleasure in Destruction: 10-20-2021

  1. “When you play the game where your attached object is good, and its opposite is bad, then you are easily lost in the game of making the bad object appear worse to feel superior to it because you can punish or step on it.” —Kevin Everett FitzMaurice
  2. “When you play the game where your attached object is good, and its opposite is bad, then you are easily lost in the game of trying to make the bad object appear better to feel superior to it because you fixed or saved it.” —Kevin Everett FitzMaurice
  3. “When you play the game where your attached object is good, and its opposite is bad, then you are easily lost in the game of trying to control, change, and regulate the bad object to appear better and feel superior to it.” —Kevin Everett FitzMaurice
  4. “When you play the game where your attached object is good, and its opposite is bad, then you are easily lost in the game of trying to teach and preach to the bad object to appear better and feel superior to it.” —Kevin Everett FitzMaurice
  5. “Who do you think is the scorekeeper? Who do you think cares about your personal virtual-reality games? Who do you think plays in your private games with you? Never those whom you think do because even you are not there.” —Kevin Everett FitzMaurice

Objects (Self-Constructions) Cannot Be You: 10-21-2021

  1. “Objects (self-constructions) cannot sense.” —Kevin Everett FitzMaurice
  2. “Objects (self-constructions) cannot have sensations.” —Kevin Everett FitzMaurice
  3. “Objects (self-constructions) cannot have experiences.” —Kevin Everett FitzMaurice
  4. “Objects (self-constructions) cannot think or use logic and reason.” —Kevin Everett FitzMaurice
  5. “You do sense and have sensations and thoughts; therefore, you cannot be objects (self-constructions) which cannot.” —Kevin Everett FitzMaurice

Return Your Faith from Objects Back to Energy: 10-22-2021

  1. “Stop putting your faith and trust in mental objects, and return your faith to Energy.” —Kevin Everett FitzMaurice
  2. “Stop putting your hope and dreams into mental objects, and return your hope to Energy.” —Kevin Everett FitzMaurice
  3. “Stop having charity and kindness for mental objects, and return your charity to Energy.” —Kevin Everett FitzMaurice
  4. “Stop trying to work with objects to better your life, and return to having Energy run your life.” —Kevin Everett FitzMaurice
  5. “Understand your faith, hope, and charity for mental objects as being backward, upside-down, and topsy-turvy because you are focused on dead things, not living Energy.” —Kevin Everett FitzMaurice

Internal Objects Are False Gods: 10-23-2021

  1. “What you put your trust in, you worship as God whether or not you are willing to acknowledge it.” —Kevin Everett FitzMaurice
  2. “When you put your hope in an internal object to help you, then you are treating that object as your god or savior.” —Kevin Everett FitzMaurice
  3. “You might as well worship the sun as your god because when you serve internal objects, you are placing them on the altar of your heart.” —Kevin Everett FitzMaurice
  4. “When you consider internal objects as powerful enough to solve your problems or improve your life, then you make such objects into idols.” —Kevin Everett FitzMaurice
  5. “Wake up and examine your relationship with internal objects and see that you are treating them as idols and gods; then reject them as false gods and return your faith, hope, and charity to living Energy.” —Kevin Everett FitzMaurice

  • Read and discover the best diagrams and maps of how people play games with your mind and heart.

Psychoanalysis

Fast-Facts 2021: Object Relations Variations

 

Object Relations Possibilities


Fast-Facts 2021: The Only Real Revolution

  • This Fast-Fact is about understanding what a real revolution is.
  • This Fast-Fact is about learning about making real change in the world.
  • Click for information on the nature of self-esteem.Fast-Facts on Self-Esteem & Ego

 

The Only Real Revolution Is the Revolution Against Object Relations


  • Read and discover how CBT, REBT, & Stoicism evolved into one system: STPHFR.

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  • Read and discover how CBT, REBT, & Stoicism evolved into one system: STPHFR.

on Acceptance


  • Read and discover the world’s best breathing exercise for centering and peace of mind.

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9 Skills & Topics Menu


  • Read and discover how CBT, REBT, & Stoicism evolved into one system: STPHFR.

on Acceptance


  • Read and discover the world’s best breathing exercise for centering and peace of mind.

on Acceptance